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Why is this happening?


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JourneyLady

Long story short. I spent five years and a lot of money with a guy, who supposedly has worsening health. Activities we didn't do because he was too ill, things he didn't do because he was too broke.

 

We break up, seemingly amicably. He's renting a place from me at minimal cost, I am storing his stuff for him (at my cost) until he can move back out here to another state - where I am selling my house and preparing to leave.

 

But... he sits there and joins the group I would be in if I were there and is participating and spending money on. I am dealing with a broken heart and went no contact, but he continues to do things he knows will bother me... It seems manipulative to me and definitely hurtful.

 

I am finding myself depressed and upset because my values are to be nice, but he is doing things to upset to the point where I just want to dump his stuff out.

 

Opinions on being nice to a person who deliberately manipulates and upsets you after a breakup? I spent too much in financial and emotional resources taking care of this person...

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JourneyLady

I haven't had contact with him in several months. I dumped some stuff I couldn't fit in my car as it's unreasonable to ask me to take care of those things. I'm about to separate out his stuff from storage and put them all in a smaller separate one as I get ready to load a POD with my own stuff. I'll pay for the cheaper storage up front up until the end of June when he's supposed to be here in town. At that point it's up to him what to do.

 

So I'll stay nice but not go overboard with it!

 

As for the groups thing. I just won't participate in that group for a long while. There are other groups I have an interest in, in that area that he is/will not be a part of. I'll concentrate on those. :D

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