Need some here

[turkeyman]

Hey guys, I'm new to the forum, and am really seeking some help here.

 

So I was in a 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend who broke up with me about a month ago. I am 29 and she is 27, and almost a year ago we moved into a house together, thinking we were taking the next step in the relationship. Things were good at first, then I started to become irritable toward her, and sometimes just plain mean. Sometimes I would belittle here when she would ask me a simple question and she felt like she was always walking on eggshells around me. I do love her very very much, I know she almost worshiped the ground I walked on, and we always talked about getting married, having kids, baby names, etc.

 

Well, I started going out with friends after work more, usually on Wednesday and Thursday nights. One Wednesday night about a month ago, I got drunk with a buddy and didn't come home until 2am. This was the straw that broke the camels back. She broke up with me that Thursday or Friday, and I pleaded and begged her not to. I said I would change(for about the 5th time). I know it's wrong for us to keep telling eachother we are going to change, but I actually know now that it's time to settle down and spend more time with her. She also said that I left her alone all the time. I was just terrified about how serious we were getting, and I ended up pushing her into the arms of her boss. As much as it hurts that she's done this, I've been nothing but nice to her. At this point, I've deleted her completely out of my life. Erased phone number, facebook, etc. I had a feeling she was slowly checking out of the relationship more than a month ago, and so it's easier for her right now to leave me for someone else.

 

She's been very weird about the break up as far as checking in with my friends and family to see how I'm doing, leaving me a birthday card on my car at work, etc.

 

My question is, has anyone else treated a girlfriend like I did, with being irritable and mean, and what not, or is this just me? If so, why the hell do we treat the ones we love so poorly? (I actually started taking Zoloft recently, because this pain has been unbearable, and I think I've always had anxiety issues, and I feel like this stuff has made me more relaxed and easy to get along with.)

 

My other question is, is it even possible to ever get her back? Have any of you ever gone through a similar situation with an ex?

 

I know she has never physically cheated on me. Her friends all tell me the same. She tells me that. She's a very loyal person, but I can understand that this happened because she wasn't getting the necessary attention and affection from me.

 

What do you guys think?

[turkeyman]

Need some serious insight here, folks.