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Wondering if my ex. will call someday.


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The last time I spoke to my ex was end of last year and even ran into her a few months after, which was extremely frustrating and disheartening. I Stopped talking to my ex though, no contact for about five to six months. Was very upset and still struggling to move on. She broke up with me more than a year ago, but we still saw each other and reminisced and I tried to make things work, but she wasn't having it and eventually told me to stop contacting her. At this point I gave in and stopped contacting her, but it hurt so much to hear that after almost five years of being together.

 

I have been trying to date other people and she has moved on with other guys, which is fine, but still hurts. I am trying to work, stay busy, and think of anything but her, but at times it seems almost impossible and I feel pathetic and miserable. I started working out again, trying to stay positive and move on, and restart and put my life back together. NC is truly painful, but I try to remind my self, in the long run, it hasn't been enough time for NC but I am afraid she will never call me again.

 

How can my ex not call me for so long and how she moving on? Is she happy? Is the guy shes with better or more loving than I was? Did what we "had" mean absolutely nothing? I guess, in her mind its completely over and I should move on with other people and my life.

 

I have not meet anyone amazing yet, but have seen people here and there. I am afraid to give myself again to anyone else and I think about what my ex. is doing with someone else and it eats away at me.

 

I do understand though, if I do not get things together and move on and, "man up," I will never be happy again or find someone else to be happy with. I could be missing out on life and life with someone truly amazing, I get it.

 

But...I always wonder, will I ever receive that email, that text, or possibly even that phone call, like in the end of the movie, "Swingers." We all secretly want and hope for this and it drives us mad, but whoever has had that opportunity, I consider that a blessing and a curse, but ultimately amazing.

 

It has only been four to five months with no contact, but I do not know how people go so long, I read on here 8 months and more of NC and I think thats just torture. Will she ever call me again? Will I be one of the lucky ones to look down at my phone and see that number that makes me scared and amazing at the same time?

 

So, will she call and if she does, what will it mean? Will it mean she dated and got tired of it and thought of me or, she always loved me?

 

She said so many harsh things at the end, which were so hard to understand and take in, it was truly painful.

 

Here's some harsh things I had to hear and read-

I was told that-

"I love you, but I am not in love with you right now."

"Right now I do not think we should be together, but maybe someday."

"Do not call or contact me, you will just cry and be pathetic."

"Move on, because I am moving on with someone else, not you."

"We can't be together right now, but who knows."

 

I was told we would be, "just friends," and I will always love you, which makes me feel like total poop. That means nothing to me, even though its something.

 

She made it sounds like, no future plans, don't hope because that is pathetic, go find someone else to love, and do not call or contact me, NC forever.

 

I am low and have been through hard times, but I do not want to feel pathetic forever and always wonder what could be someday, will I ever see or hear from her again? Will she make that call everyone hopes for?

 

I do not know how to continue with the NC, because it hurts soo much and everyone says that, they will eventually call back and I do not believe it to be true but I hope it will be because I hurt so much.

 

 

In the meantime, I want to find someone else, but hope that my ex. and I will be together someday, I just can't picture anything else and its killing me and making me feel so foolish.

 

Any advice would be appreciated, I just want proof that they eventually call back, that you need to give time and space, to almost everything, even to the ones you truly love. That they will call back, it may just take a long time of NC to see so. I just want to hear from her so bad, but do not want to make things worse. Thanks.

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news

But some don't come back ever ..

Some do but most don't ...

I think the amount of hope your living with is defo hindering your healing and progress...

No contact may make the person miss you or even second guess there decision

But even if both those two factors work it still doesn't mean they want you back .

I feel your pain I spent 3 weeks looking at my phone expecting and hoping for a call it never came ... I made it and wham back to square one no interest ...

You gotta try accept that it's over and she's not coming back your life is on hold for too long now and noone is worth that..

Even if she came back she may not be the same person it's been a while ..

I know it's not easy but try harder and want more for yourself u deserve it !

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singme2sleep

I know exactly how you feel. You wonder what they're doing and if they've ever stared at the phone wanting to call you. It's a rough position to be in, especially when all you do is feel sad and you just picture your ex having the time of their life without you. At least that's how it is for me. I had up deactivate my Facebook because I couldn't stand to read posts about my ex just enjoying his new found single-ness. Try to keep your chin up, it will get better eventually (or so I tell myself).

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You seem like someone with so much love to give, so don't leave it bottled up waiting for someone who doesn't want it. There are plenty of other amazing people who will appreciate and return it (although it might be hard to see right now).

 

I strongly encourage you to eliminate ANY thought what so ever of reconciliation (for YOUR benifit). However it bears keeping in mind that she is growing and moving on and if you don't do the same then you wouldn't have anything to offer her in the future anyways. But do it for you because you deserve to be happy too!

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I know exactly how you feel. You wonder what they're doing and if they've ever stared at the phone wanting to call you. It's a rough position to be in, especially when all you do is feel sad and you just picture your ex having the time of their life without you. At least that's how it is for me. I had up deactivate my Facebook because I couldn't stand to read posts about my ex just enjoying his new found single-ness. Try to keep your chin up, it will get better eventually (or so I tell myself).

 

It's gas we probably never got told the truth anyway I did breakup and get back with the ex before and she told me all those Facebook statuses and pictures where a deliberate dig at me to show how much fun she was having ..

Pathetic really someone you care about sets out to hurt you purposely .

Maybe I'm big headed on this ( not intending too be )

But we must cross there mind c'mon we spent so much time together

I know so many things trigger my memories some things must hit them be it good or bad memories..

But sadly none of this will make them change there mind and call ..

It's gotta be a change of heart and even if that happens pride and ego get in the way too hahah it's a uphill climb for sure !

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Awww, so kind. Thank you. I also had to delete my facebook, she still has one and once in a great while, I want to see her, but I know it will just hurt. I feel like she is having the time of her life and moved on and I try my best to pray and not think about it and focus on me. Thank you.

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Thanks. It does hurt to accept that she may never come back and I understand it, but feeling it is another. Hopefully in time, one way or another, things will work out. Thanks.

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Thanks. Its just hard to accept she is totally fine, after so much time together and moved on. In time, I hope I can just forget it and do what I want to do with a clear mind and heart. Thanks.

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We don't always get the people in life we want

But we get the people we need ..

 

What's meant for you won't pass you

 

Pick one .. I believe them both to be true ..

But that's just me ...

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yeah, I hear ya. The pride and ego are ones that I could see holding things back and really never making things happen, I suppose. Thanks.

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And I just saw Silver Linings Playbook, man that hit hard at home. At times, it was so hard to watch and feel the same hurt. Was not expecting some things, great and inspiring film to watch.

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And anyone who comments, I am here to heal, vent and even discover things I may have never considered. I will do my very best to aid anyone who can help me or comments on my post. I feel that if I am asking for help, I should be one to return it as well. Thanks.

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I just never thought I would ever have these mixed feelings and feel this bad. I want to have a clear mind again and be able to work on my passions, but everything I shared was tangled with her love and now its harder to do those things I once loved on my own. I just read and hear about people getting that phone call, that one day where you have finally forgotten about them and move on, and then they call and see what you are up to. If that ever, ever happens. I will be shocked and have very mixed emotions. But Lightning rarely strikes twice, so I won't hold my breath and wait for that.

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Awww, thanks. I do not want to hope for too much, but just a little hope in the back of my head where things, may or may not happen are kept.

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blue_jay_bird

I'd recommend talking to someone, it really helps.

 

But really yeah, it hurts alot.

 

what hurts even more is keeping this pain going.

 

I'm so tired of caring, thinking, hoping. And the worst is remembering the harsh things she said to you.

 

In your wildest dreams can you imagine saying those harsh things to the person you loved.

 

In your wildest dream's if the person you loved was in pain, you would be running to their side. Well they are not, what does that say about them?

 

But really im at 8 months NC. I'm SO tired of feeling this way. I bet you are sooo tired of feeling the way you do. I'd say go to your doctor ask for a therapist. It helps.

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Dude you have the NC part down pat. What you dont have is

 

YOU NEED TO KILL ALL HOPE. REPEAT. KILL ALL HOPE

 

Hope will destroy your recovery. She is gone forever. It is over forever. She has given you every reason to believe she is never coming back. You need to stop this and control these thoughts. Sorry this is so tough.

 

Once you let go of the fantasy it gets much easier with time. Cav

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singme2sleep

Sososad- you're right, we must cross their mind. On the dreaded Valentine's day, a small part of me thought my ex would contact me because how could he not miss on that of all days- but, nope :(

 

bluesocks- I'm going to see 'Silver Linings Playbook' tomorrow night with my sister, we're both post-breakup. From the previews it looks good, and I know I'll commiserate with Bradley Cooper's character!

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You can always wonder if she'll call. You have to stop hoping that she'll call because you'll put yourself in an even bigger hole. If she calls, she'll call. If she doesn't, your life shouldn't stop.

 

Blocking her number has hurt me, but it's also helped. I would feel horrible if she wasn't blocked and I KNEW she never tried to call me again. Now I have no idea if she ever tried to call me, but now I know she's not trying because she doesn't want to talk to me. That's fine with me, she doesn't owe me anything now and she's allowed to move on just like I am.

 

Is Silver Linings Playbook a breakup movie? I thought it was about sports.

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Hi there, I don't know if my comments will help you but I completely understand how you feel. It's like playing the love lottery – you really want to hope that your ex is going to imagine your digits in her head and make that call to you. This is how it's going with me and my ex-boyfriend and I was gold to him solid gold and he just threw it all away. I keep thinking he's going to grow up and realize that no other woman can treat him as well as I did but meanwhile he keeps sending me little text breadcrumbs here and there. It's enough to make you crazy do you want breadcrumbs? Maybe it's best that she's just staying away and letting you try to move on with your life.

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singme2sleep

na49- the movie is about a guy whose wife leaves him and he basically loses everything that's important to him. I think he spends some time in a psychiatric facility and then gets out and tries to put his life back together. I heard it was really good.

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