Girlfriend broke it off after three years

[Sloan]

My girlfriend broke it off with me after almost three years and everything was so great until she started making new friends. I am 20 and she is 18. She has had a rough life and I have always been their for her but she has a rough time making and keeping friends. When she makes friends, its almost like she changes and doesn't really have interest in the relationship anymore. Prior to the breakup with her last week, she broke up with me a month prior to that and thats when I was hurt the most and I have learned that the more you break up the easier it gets. I had no clue what was going on and it kept feeling like someone was involved. She said she needed a break to get her life together and I accepted. However, I kind of knew something was up when I went to hold her hand and she looked at me like what are you doing. Eventually I did find out she started communicating with another guy and hungout with him alone but claims she didn't do anything and they were just friends. I should also tell you she has cheated on me once when we first started dating but I was young and decided to take her back. We were great until the last two months where these two things happened. However, there was no fighting or anything, just random on her side. When I took her back again after she stopped communicating that guy, we were great for a month.

 

Fast Forwarding: She met another girlfriend who is pretty popular with girls and guys and she is going on vacation soon and my girlfriend (at the time) decided to go. When she broke up with me, I asked her why she wanted to break it off, and she made excuses and then would say a reasoning but then say the opposite and I was just scratching my head. Then she said I need a break but the reasons she needed a break made absolutely no sense. The night before the breakup she told me that she didn't really care if we had broken up and thats when it hit me really hard. The following day I had a pretty good feeling it was ending soon. By now I sit here two weeks later wondering why it happened. I have people telling me not to be a nice guy all the time but I want to be who I am, not pretend to be someone else. If that person doesn't like it then its not meant to be. But, I sit here wondering if she is with another guy and I know I shouldn't care because I need to move on. It's been no contact for almost two weeks. I know deep down inside I don't want to get back with her in the future but I feel one day she will realize how great I treated during the whole relationship. I am not sure if she is going on that vacation because her friend hooked her up with a guy friend down their because when I was with her, her girlfriends guy friends started to add her on facebook and I never asked questions. Or if she just doesn't like me anymore?

 

I am not sure if I am letting things get in my head or what, I know I probably won't find the answer until one day I am over her and maybe become friends but I feel she will still lie. I could never really trust her 100% and I tried, but we never fought and were always great. When we first broke it off when she needed the first break, she tried to make me feel guilty for what I believe made her feel more comfortable, but I just know I didn't do something wrong and I don't want those thoughts in my head.

 

This is my first post and I hope it was somewhat understanding, thank you!

Edited February 11, 2013 by Sloan
Adding

[LostOne1]

Well the one thing I will say is it seems like 3 yrs is the mark. I see most of the BU's being around the 3 year mark. I wonder if around then people just get bored and things go downhill?

[Sloan]

I have also noticed that but the last month we were together she seemed just fine. I went on a vacation with her with her grandparents and it was great, we went out to eat several times, and I took her out to dinner on her her birthday. The night she called she was like "there are times when I don't really want to hangout with you" or "I'm not sure if I want to do long distance" and then I would say you don't want to do long distance? and she would say no I didn't say that. It was just like she was throwing out all of these excuses and not telling me the truth. She did this the first time she broke it off and was hanging out with someone else. I just don't understand why she would want to break it off when I have given everything to her. I sometimes wonder if she's even thinking about me but I don't really think she is. I know I have to move on and I know I don't want to get back with her because she's just so complicated and hard to trust after what she has put me through. She even told me that night that she doesn't want to tell me who she talks to and doesn't want to tell me what she's doing. She feels like she was reporting to me. I have never been the jealous type and I have never yelled at her for talking or hanging out with guys.

 

She has never hung out with guys atleast that I know of during our relationship, but it just seems like a massive coverup. Or maybe she just wants to go out and have "fun"?

[denxnis]

It's going to take a while to get over her and you will feel very alone for a while, however there are two outcomes to this situation.

 

A. You can stalk her facebook, write letters to her, try and win her back, and do all types of things that come to your mind that seem natural. Maybe get into a rebound relationship or try and find someone to fill this void you have...

 

I don't recommend this approach.

 

B. You can use this time to get stronger, mentally and physically. During the weekends or whenever you feel like you should be hanging out with her hit the gym. Get some new clothes, buy some teeth whitening strips and just start looking better. If you're in school work your ass off to boost your GPA and spruce up your resume, do what you can to get ahead in your career so that you stick out from the crowd when looking to get promoted or find a new job.

 

Basically do anything and everything to improve upon yourself so that you don't digress but progress.

Edited February 28, 2013 by denxnis