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How Long 'No Contact'?


DepressedandConfused

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DepressedandConfused

It has been 5 weeks since my relationship with my gf ended. The relationship only lasted 3 months, but it was intense, passionate and close, both emotionally and physically. I have been going through "No Contact' with her for a week now and It's been hard, since we basically kept contact before that and even chatted every now and then.

However, it became more painful for me to let go. Anything she said or did would affect me greatly, for example, if I saw her chatting and flirting (she's an affectionate person) with our mutual friends (We have many), I'd be crushed. So I've decided on a 'No Contact' policy.

 

The breakup has already caused me great depression and has made me become isolated from our mutual friends, a lot of whom were my close friends before we hooked up. I feel I've lost their trust and confidence. I also feel that I will have to avoid them as well to maintain the 'No Contact' policy. Hobbies I used to share with my ex I've also avoided.

 

Am I doing anything wrong? How long should the 'No Contact' last? I've already convinced myself that she'll never come back, so why do I still have feelings for her? When will all the pain end? Can I ever get my friends and life back?

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hurtingandconfused
I feel I've lost their trust and confidence.

Don't feel like that. If they are your true friends they know what you are going through. They should be there to support you. Stop focusing on them so much, begin to focus on yourself right now.

Am I doing anything wrong?

No

How long should the 'No Contact' last?

Until YOU are ready to talk to her as only friends. If never, then never.

I've already convinced myself that she'll never come back, so why do I still have feelings for her?

This is s a good start, many begin with denial. This will take time, and lots of it. Have patience on yourself you will get through this.

When will all the pain end?

No one really knows, not even yourself. One day you will wake up and you will feel normal w/o the need to think about your ex.

Can I ever get my friends and life back?

I do not know how your friends are. If they do not understand what you are going through then I say they are not your true friends. But who am I to say that right?

 

You have life right now, it's what you do with it that makes you a better person. Your life is on the down, but I promise you it can only get better.

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