In the same room with your ex...

[cherepaha]

i can not explain how absolutely horrible i feel right now...

we are still studying in the same Uni and as much as i can avoid him i do, but unfortunately, not always. I do not study at this lib atm, for my own sake, but i have a team assignment... I cant just tell my team that im avoiding someone, lets go to another library across town!

 

So atm im stuck here, i know where he's sitting, he saw me too and i just wanna cry histerically... i cant do anything, im supposed to work with others!!!!!

 

i thought i was better, so why does it hurrt so unbearably much right now?

how do i prepare for this?

 

Plus it hurts me that i gave up so much after the break up and he - nothing!

i used to always study with him and his friends (they were (are?) my firends too) now, they are all there together... and my close friends are never here (library i mean)

 

it just ALL hit me and i dont know where to vent... feel so lonely in this public place, more than in bed alone

[Chi townD]

After a break up, it's hard adjusting to a new life. BUT! it is a new life. What you need to do is make positive changes to that life. You need to put yourself out there.

 

If you're at school, there are a ton of clubs that you can join. Meet new people, dive into new projects, put yourself out there.

[FearlessOne]

I think you should try to avoid him as much as possible... Try to study somewhere else till you are ready to be in the same room without wanting to cry.

Do it for YOU only because you need to heal and seeing him often won't help.

[LostOne1]

Well I been there saw my ex at my new school shockingly. But what it did was make me stronger in the long run. I've always told myself SCHOOL is a priority and seeing my ex is jsut a test to see how strong I am towards my school goals. Can't let no girl interfere or mess with me.

 

I'm better than that for sure!

[cherepaha]

thanks guys.. i'll just see it as a test, it will get better.

 

BUt the thing that now makes me sad is that i lost more than just him and he only lost me. i realised i miss long nights with his sis and my ex-roommie (his bff AND her bf LOLOL) sometimes even without my ex. i'll miss that too.... that gave me another wave of grief... we lived as the four of us kinda...

 

ofc i never expected them to be on my side or be my bffs, but i just this them in a way too. i'm out of my comfort zone, he isnt

[LostOne1]

thanks guys.. i'll just see it as a test, it will get better.

 

BUt the thing that now makes me sad is that i lost more than just him and he only lost me. i realised i miss long nights with his sis and my ex-roommie (his bff AND her bf LOLOL) sometimes even without my ex. i'll miss that too.... that gave me another wave of grief... we lived as the four of us kinda...

 

ofc i never expected them to be on my side or be my bffs, but i just this them in a way too. i'm out of my comfort zone, he isnt

Sadly it is how it is.. I mean I was close with my ex's bro and sis.. but they never once checked up on me after the BU.

 

So I know how you feel. I did a lot with my ex and her bro his wife or my ex and me with her sister and her bf.

 

But the thing is you have to realize those moments are in the past now. It's hard to go from having someone and doing things to the absolute opposite, because we are NOT used to it. But guess what.. it's time to get used to it.

 

I have to accept it as much as you do too. There is NOTHING we can do either. I know, because I tried and miserably failed to a point where I realized I can do NOTHING but let it go and know it was some good memories in the past and nothing more.

[na49]

First. His friends aren't your friends. So I wouldn't talk to them anymore.

 

Second. I know how it feels seeing your ex. It's so weird, they just walk out of our lives and their life just continues. It goes on and they aren't upset about it at all. They aren't nearly as emotional as we are, and they don't care nearly as much as we do. We're pretty much just a somebody to them. We mean about as much to them as the stranger standing next to us. You have to stay strong. I know it sucks seeing him. Try not to look his way? The library must be pretty big, maybe go somewhere else? If you explain your reason I'm sure your group will understand. They won't be like "No. We HAVE to work in this EXACT spot!"

[cherepaha]

First. His friends aren't your friends. So I wouldn't talk to them anymore.

 

 

that was my approach... both his bff and sis tried to make chit-chat with me, but i felt so awkward, told them both i was in a hurry. His bff even watsapped me a couple of days ago - "where are you? Get your ass to uni, we miss you!" - my first though: did he not tell them??...

Dont want to be mean, but i just cant see myself being normal around them (at least now)... would you ignore such ppl?

Edited January 29, 2013 by cherepaha

[nes9]

Yup, it sucks I know how you feel. My ex broke up with me and she is in the same five person group as me that meets every week for 3 hours for a whole semester...... And no I can't switch out of the group either. She is also in a small 24 person class with me that meets once for two hours every week for the semester. She is in all my other classes too, but luckily those are 160 person lectures and she sits far down in the front of the room. Unfortunately, her and I are in the same pharmacy program and will see each other very frequently for the next 2 years, but that is what happens when you date within the class I guess. Regardless, it totally sucks and absolutely slows my healing process. But I have been broken up with a few times in a row now and am getting better at learning how to heal and cope with these emotions. It truly is mind over matter but it is tough to control your emotions when that person is sitting inches away from you. All you can do is be strong. Best of luck.