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Undecided


Fryderyk_Franciszek

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Fryderyk_Franciszek

So I have been undecided for awhile about my recent BU and I have seen what it has done to her. It has really messed with her, knowing that I am unsure. We have been talking for a few days about it and I have been seeing how much it has been hurting her.

 

I made a decision last night that I couldn't continue hurting her. I couldn't let her know that I love her, but I am just too scared to go back with her. I am too scared to think that we could fall back on the thin ice we were once on. Fall back to the horrible depression I once felt.

 

I let her go. I was incredibly mean to her. I pushed her away from me. I did this on purpose so she would move on. Find someone she can be happy with and forget about me. I can't string her along while I try to figure stuff out. It was so hard. I never thought I could be mean to her. I said stuff I never would have ever said. This is so hard. I just know I am not the one she is looking for. She is just being delusional because I am nice to her and treat her well. We are at odds every other week about one thing or another. She needs to find someone else. And I need to stop pretending everything is going to be perfect. This is so immature of me. I am not proud of myself....

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