I need

[Breath Taking]

I'm 16 and last night my girlfriend said she needed a break, i know you are going to think I am to young for this to matter but we had something special for the past two years of dating. She said she still loves me but she wants to find herself and be independent. I'm unsure of what to do, im so crazy for this girl i would wait any length of time but is it worth it after all she has said to me over the past two years and then to do this makes me question everything. I need advice on if I am supposed to respect her decision let her work things our, pursue this and try and get her to chose otherwise and stay with me, or just tell her that if she really loves me like she says that she would not need a break.

 

Thanks

Edited January 25, 2013 by Breath Taking

[church9832]

Its happens around that age, when a woman does not want to be held up by a man. Independence is a big thing at that age.

 

You probs hear this alot but you are 16 years old, and the 'highschool' sweethearts thing doesn't last often, in fact its completely rare.

 

When a girl says 'I want a break', she's saying 'I can't see a future with you, I need time to think if you are the one'.

 

Besides, being with a girl from 14 to marrage is great and wonderful, but rare because you got your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to be tied down at that age. Sure you want to get married but thats later probs in your 30s.

 

A break goes three ways,

• She dumps you
  
• She comes back and later on she dumps you
  
• you stay together forever
  

 

Trust me, theres a whole world out there and staying in the comfort zone of your relationship does not last long.

 

Life sucks, but it has to suck for you to become a man.

 

If I were you, find out where she stands and she has to make a decision now.

Love isn't about thinking, its definate and instant.

 

What she's doing is rationlising something that cannot be rationlised, and when she figures that out, she's gonna dump you.

 

It's gonna end with pain either way, so be ready to endure it, then learn from it and apply it in your next relationship.

[Breath Taking]

thanks alot man.

I agree with almost everything you said. However do you think waiting around is worth it do, or is it a true sign that she doesn't want this any more. I love her and if i make her make a decision now and she decides to leave for good i don't want to regret being the reason i lost her for good

[church9832]

Think about it like this, If she leaves you then she wasn't the one. Imagine if you two got married, It wouldn't last.

 

Trust me, you're gonna get hurt and tossed around by life.

 

No matter how hard you try, you can't protect yourself from heartache.

[Breath Taking]

That makes sense I just couldn't make sense of everything she has said and then to do this seemingly out of no where. I always knew it was a long shot that something like this lasted.

 

Thanks for the advice though

[Samilia]

I'm 16 and last night my girlfriend said she needed a break, i know you are going to think I am to young for this to matter but we had something special for the past two years of dating. She said she still loves me but she wants to find herself and be independent. I'm unsure of what to do, im so crazy for this girl i would wait any length of time but is it worth it after all she has said to me over the past two years and then to do this makes me question everything. I need advice on if I am supposed to respect her decision let her work things our, pursue this and try and get her to chose otherwise and stay with me, or just tell her that if she really loves me like she says that she would not need a break.

 

Thanks

 

What she told you then was true, what she tells you now is true as well, in a way. How you felt about something 5 years ago might not be the same now, but at the time, it was true. She's just probably not mature enough to admit that she doesn't love you anymore so she calls it a break. I also think that she genuinely wants to find herself, experience life, be young.

 

I wouldn't give her an ultimatum or try to put her on the spot by forcing a decision, she'd probably run. Begging, pleading, kicking, etc.. won't fix a thing, she broke up. Just let her go and respect her decision as much as it sucks for you, but don't make a fool of yourself. If you read this forum you will find plenty of examples of people who regret the way they behaved during their break up.

 

As for putting your life on hold, absolutely not.. first that'd be a huge waste of time. Secondly, that's not attractive. Being a doormat or a puppy isn't attractive. She wants to break it up, do the same, go out there, date, have fun.

[Breath Taking]

do breaks ever end well though, like should I not give it some time and maybe ill get lucky and she will want to be together again. I just don't want to lose and have the thought on my mind that i could of done something different. But if this is her real decision then i understand i have to respect it.

[Samilia]

do breaks ever end well though, like should I not give it some time and maybe ill get lucky and she will want to be together again. I just don't want to lose and have the thought on my mind that i could of done something different. But if this is her real decision then i understand i have to respect it.

 

It's not a break, it's a break up. Let's be realistic here. Could she be back? I would say yes, because you're her first love and nobody forgets a first love. I however think that it would happen after you two have enough experience under your belt. I would stay away from the breaking up/getting back together cycle. For now I'd go do my own thing.

[KatZee]

I'm going to approach this topic from the scientific standpoint. You make a comment about how she should know how much she really loves you at 16 years old.

 

A bit of info about the human brain at age 16. The frontal lobe-- that is the part of the brain responsible for thinking about cause and effect, long term, and consequences, has not yet developed. It's not developed within her, and it's not developed within you. And that part of the brain WON'T be fully developed until you're in your mid-20s.

 

So when you say things like, "if she really loved me she wouldn't need to find herself" or "I will wait any amount of time for her"--- your brain does not truly comprehend these things.

 

I think she's perfectly valid in her statements. She's 16. She's still a kid. She's growing up, going through puberty, hormones are racing through her, she's coming into her own, becoming an individual, exploring, curious about life, herself, her sexuality... these are CRAZY years for a person and things change in the blink of an eye. The fact you've lasted two years from 14-16 is a huge accomplishment, but at your ages, honestly, you should not be thinking this is it for the rest of your life.

 

How would you know what you truly wanted, or needed unless you grew up, matured, and experienced more? Right now it's as if you have blinders on your eyes, in a few years they will start to come off, and you'll see how drastically you view the world. From 16 then to 18, then to 21, then to 25.

 

You're both going to grow up a lot, and change. If she needs this space, you need to give it to her with no pressure. She'll see that you really do love her and respect her need for this time. If you try to push it, she will resent you. As much as you love her, let her go. As they say, if she comes back it's meant to be.

[Chi townD]

do breaks ever end well though, like should I not give it some time and maybe ill get lucky and she will want to be together again. I just don't want to lose and have the thought on my mind that i could of done something different. But if this is her real decision then i understand i have to respect it.

 

 

Okay, you're young and I'm gonna rip the band-aid off quickly.

 

Taking a break = Breaking up. Don't kid yourself.

 

I need to find myself = I need to find myself dating other guys.

 

I need to be independant for a while = I don't want to be DEPENDANT on you anymore. SO, I won't feel guilty about dating other guys.

 

At this young age, I can say with a degree of certainty that she's got her eye on someone else. I would not shock me in the least that you discover that she's dating again within 1.5 to 2 weeks.

 

This isn't a break, dude. It's a break up. Don't let her string you along.

[Coping Vortex]

My son is your age. He has already had three major GF's already. In fact he and his ex just broke up yesterday. You are very young you will date many mnay more girls in your life. You will fall in and out of love many times. At my age its still happening to me right now.

 

So my advice is to move on. Due to your age teenagers are evolving into adults and a lot of feelings and emotions will run hot and cold. Trust me on this. Find someone new. I look back now and I spent too much time in high school with a relationship with a girl from 10th - Senior year. I wished I had experienced more relationships in high school. Do it now! Before you get married someday!

 

good luck!!!