Ex wants to go on a trip?

[paranoid.android69]

Hi all,

 

I created this account because it seems like one of the few places on the internet where its community members give out sound advice. This is a bit long but I really hope I can get help on this.

 

So I was dating John for a year and we were in a great relationship except whenever he drank a lot, he would either break up with me over minuscule things or do or say inconsiderate things that would hurt my feelings. Obviously the next day he would feel terrible and ask for my forgiveness. Or if he broke up with me, he would send me an email explaining how bad he feels and that I deserve better. We were really in love and for the most part, things were great.

 

So both of us are studying abroad where he is in Spain and I am in France. He left almost three weeks ago and I got here just this week. We decided that we were going to stay in a committed relationship and see each other every few weeks because we are essentially really close and only have to do it for 4 months. We had an amazing last few days before he left. His best friend told me the day before he left, he was very adamant about staying with me because he loves me so much and cares about me.

 

However, as soon as he got to his destination, he was going out every night and we wouldn't talk as much. I understood he was trying to get acclimated and make new friends but I couldn't help but feel upset because I was back in my suburban town while this was going on and it was bothering me.

 

Three days after he got there, I got paranoid and accused him of cheating but he said he would never do that. Honestly, everyone knows John as having very high morals. So I just let it go and told him to have fun. However, later that night he was drunk and texted me late night his time and said he know he's going to cheat on me and doesn't want to hurt me and that he loves me but we should break up.

 

The next day he said he freaked out and that he doesn't need other girls and that he loves me and I shouldn't worry about him. I asked him if he was sure he didn't want an open relationship and if he needed a few days to think about this and he said he was sure. Things were fine and we talked like normal.

 

Then last week I went on his facebook and he was talking to his friend in real time about how he kissed a girl and he was really drunk. I told him I saw everything and I broke up with him. The next day he sent me a long email telling me how he's really sorry and that he loves me. That I'm the most amazing girl. He told me he loves me five times. But that he's immature and has a lot of growing up to do. That he has hinted in the past that he's too immature because he hurt me so much.

 

I didn't answer for five days because I needed to gather my emotions. But I composed a mature response and told him that it was best if talked about this. So we talked two days ago and he said that I blow everyone out of the water and that it has nothing to do with girls because they're mediocre and are girls from our college. He said that I'm like a best friend and a lover to him. That I'm the quintessential girl, basically. But he needs this time to figure himself out and grow up. He doesn't want to get back together and get drunk and do something hurtful again.

 

I mentioned something about how it's too bad because I wanted to go to Paris with him which is a city that means a lot to me. And he said that he was going to say how we should still go next month and that he hopes to travel to other places with me during this semester.

 

Yesterday he messaged me and asked me about buying tickets. I couldn't talk for long because I had to go but he also called me babe and pet names. It seems like he really wants to go. So I don't know what the deal is. It just seems so unlike him to string me along if that is what he is doing because he's a nice guy. He's still acting like we are in a relationship. Is he being truthful? Why does he want to go with me so badly? What are your opinions?

Edited January 20, 2013 by paranoid.android69