Ariella1984 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 I'm feeling really angry today. In summary, my boyfriend broke up with me in a commitmentphobic freak out (see my thread from yesterday) claiming that all of a sudden, he has re-established contact with his toxic ex girlfriend (initiated by her leaving a message on his phone saying that she was back with her college boyfriend and so in love, which turned out to be a lie) from before me and even though he doesn't want to get back with her, he has this "mental block" and needs to figure out things at his own pace and not feel pressured by our relationship. What kind of BS is this?!?!? According to all of his friends, he didn't even like this girl as a person toward the end, knew it would never work out with her, and they had never seen him as excited and happy with a girl as they did with me. He told me all of this too. I creeped her picture on Facebook (hey, I'm human) and it can't be a looks thing, she is not very cute at all and he told me I was the most beautiful girl he has ever dated. Also told me we had the hottest sex he has ever had. Our relationship was happy, drama free, passionate, and, well I thought, healthy. Why in god's name would you let something toxic get in the way of that?!?!? What is it that she has that I don't have? His own words were..."it's like a bad past is keeping me from a good future" I just can't make sense of this!!!!!!! Is he some sort of masochist??? Link to post Share on other sites
Samilia Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 I'm feeling really angry today. In summary, my boyfriend broke up with me in a commitmentphobic freak out (see my thread from yesterday) claiming that all of a sudden, he has re-established contact with his toxic ex girlfriend (initiated by her leaving a message on his phone saying that she was back with her college boyfriend and so in love, which turned out to be a lie) from before me and even though he doesn't want to get back with her, he has this "mental block" and needs to figure out things at his own pace and not feel pressured by our relationship. What kind of BS is this?!?!? According to all of his friends, he didn't even like this girl as a person toward the end, knew it would never work out with her, and they had never seen him as excited and happy with a girl as they did with me. He told me all of this too. I creeped her picture on Facebook (hey, I'm human) and it can't be a looks thing, she is not very cute at all and he told me I was the most beautiful girl he has ever dated. Also told me we had the hottest sex he has ever had. Our relationship was happy, drama free, passionate, and, well I thought, healthy. Why in god's name would you let something toxic get in the way of that?!?!? What is it that she has that I don't have? His own words were..."it's like a bad past is keeping me from a good future" I just can't make sense of this!!!!!!! Is he some sort of masochist??? No, he's not, he's just giving you a bullsh*t excuse to help you swallow the pill. Nobody is putting a knife under his throat, nobody is making him do anything he doesn't want to do. You can't make sense of it because it doesn't make sense, he's just keeping you on the back burner with this pathetic excuse. Seriously, run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Claims that he hasn't gotten over his past, are bull**** most of the time. Seriously. My ex claimed he was still not over his ex, was bitter about her... 2 years after the break-up. Come on. I call bullsh*t on that. He just didn't want to commit, wanted to have his cake and eat it too, wanted to control me, and wanted something with as little hassle as possible. And then, when he couldn't get all that without putting in an effort, he just broke up with me. He just didn't feel like having a relationship. He was too selfish and lazy. The rest (including his ex) were just excuses. His selfishness and lazyness is probably why his ex broke up with him in the first place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CdnClass88 Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Our relationship was happy, drama free, passionate, and, well I thought, healthy. Why in god's name would you let something toxic get in the way of that?!?!? What is it that she has that I don't have? His own words were..."it's like a bad past is keeping me from a good future" I just can't make sense of this!!!!!!! Is he some sort of masochist??? Agreed with the above posts. BS excuse. If it really was affecting him you more than likely would have seen signs of it while together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariella1984 Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 Everyone definitely has some great points! Normally I would agree that this is BS excuse, but I don't know. I think there is truth to this based on what I have seen and heard. It's just boggles my mind If it really was affecting him you more than likely would have seen signs of it while together. There were some signs, and they all link up to the exact time when she initiated contact. I just didn't recognize at first what the signs were indicating. I chalked it up to him just getting comfortable in the relationship, and outside stress Link to post Share on other sites
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