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Coping Vortex

Just yesterday my ex told me "I am with someone else now....that's it", "I'm in love with the memory of you", "I am no longer IN love with you"

 

These phrases made me feel numb for the last 24 hours but now I am breaking down and feeling really depressed. All of a sudden I am very sad and feel like crying. The reality of being rejected for good once and for all is just hitting me now.

 

It's been 9 weeks but we have have had some break of NC bread crumb texts. Two one day reconciliations. You can read my posts about the one from Monday. Its a classic.

 

I just don't now how to deal anymore. I have taken Xanax, exhausted every friend and relative, seeing a therapist, can't sleep can't eat can't concentrate on work. Exhausted every post on LS.

 

I'm falling apart. So many memories so many pictures flying through my head. Us having sex, her having sex with her new BF. Our past dates, lunches, dinners trips to the beach, hanging with friends etc.

 

All of a sudden it hit me even worse. I tried to take Anti Depressants but the side effects killed me.

 

I just don't know how I can get past this. It just isn't fair she gets to be happy while I am inversely unhappy.

 

I wish it was a year from now.

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Coping Vortex
Are you at your house? Go to the mall, go work out, go drive around. Go do something!!

 

I am. I work out of the house. I am alone right now. I think I will go to the book store read a self help book to try to give me some perspective. I can't seem to do any work anyway.

 

Thanks Puzzled1.

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I'm sorry you feel so down! I understand what you mean. Relationships are hard and its very hard to deal with them when they end. I am also going through a breakup and books really helped me a lot.

 

If you can, search for some topics that you are into. I found some books about what I think destroyed my relationship and I read up on that. there are books about moving on and how to get over a lost love, how to love yourself, learning how to forgive ect.

 

Try that. It got me out of my the crying mess, not eating, not sleeping stage that I was stuck in and built up my confidence at least to the point where I can function and begin to understand what just happened.

 

Good luck!

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Listen to 2chains, his songs are very degrading and they usually put me in a "f*ck you" attitude. HAHA But then I'll listen to maroon 5 and start ballin again lol

 

Its a roller coaster bro, put your hands in the f*cking air, scream, yell, shout and enjoy yourself!

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Just yesterday my ex told me "I am with someone else now....that's it", "I'm in love with the memory of you", "I am no longer IN love with you"

 

These phrases made me feel numb for the last 24 hours but now I am breaking down and feeling really depressed. All of a sudden I am very sad and feel like crying. The reality of being rejected for good once and for all is just hitting me now.

 

It's been 9 weeks but we have have had some break of NC bread crumb texts. Two one day reconciliations. You can read my posts about the one from Monday. Its a classic.

 

I just don't now how to deal anymore. I have taken Xanax, exhausted every friend and relative, seeing a therapist, can't sleep can't eat can't concentrate on work. Exhausted every post on LS.

 

I'm falling apart. So many memories so many pictures flying through my head. Us having sex, her having sex with her new BF. Our past dates, lunches, dinners trips to the beach, hanging with friends etc.

 

All of a sudden it hit me even worse. I tried to take Anti Depressants but the side effects killed me.

 

I just don't know how I can get past this. It just isn't fair she gets to be happy while I am inversely unhappy.

 

I wish it was a year from now.

 

What works for me is imagining somebody else--a better person. Someone who wouldn't use you.

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So sorry. I was at that exact same place about a month ago when my ex was leading me on, giving me false hope.

 

I have still not healed from that. But I am my own worst enemy in that situation. I also wish it was a year from now.

 

But I think we can heal if we let ourselves heal. I don´t know how to put it. I liked feeling the pain. I put on our songs, wrote down letters that I never sent her, telling my feelings. And I just got addicted to the pain.

 

I hope you get better.

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I personally would imagine her getting laid every which way by this guy until your sick of it. This will help dull the edges on these thoughts.

 

Then imagine all the great moment you had, holding hands, making love to her, all the cute things she did, and how you gave it your all all and tried everything humanly possible to save it. All this while crying your eyes out and saying it IT IS OVER in your head. I mean really lean into the pain.

 

It is cathartic. Helped me a ton. Not kidding. Get it all out. Cry for hours doing this. Then stop get up and do something else.

Edited by cavalier99
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OJ loved Nicole
I personally would imagine her getting laid every which way by this guy until your sick of it. This will help dull the edges on these thoughts.

 

Then imagine all the great moment you had, holding hands, making love to her, all the cute things she did, and how you gave it your all all and tried everything humanly possible to save it. All this while crying your eyes out and saying it IT IS OVER in your head. I mean really lean into the pain.

 

It is cathartic. Helped me a ton. Not kidding. Get it all out. Cry for hours doing this. Then stop get up and do something else.

 

Great advice Cav! One day you WILL get used to living your life without your ex, one day you WILL be ok with the thought of your ex having sex with other people. Cav has given you one of the shortcuts from pain to numbness/indifference.

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What happened with her the other day is goin to set you back - it's like a second break up. You really need to be determined to go full nc with her this time. I know last time you kept in some contact, none of that this time.

 

Remember what she did to you. How heartless she was. You don't want that in your life.

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I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know exactly how you feel! It's like a second breakup and you just got your heart broken all over again. I wish I could give you advice but I'm in the same boat myself. Hang in there. Things will get better as the days go by. That's all we can do right now.

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Coping Vortex
I personally would imagine her getting laid every which way by this guy until your sick of it. This will help dull the edges on these thoughts.

 

Then imagine all the great moment you had, holding hands, making love to her, all the cute things she did, and how you gave it your all all and tried everything humanly possible to save it. All this while crying your eyes out and saying it IT IS OVER in your head. I mean really lean into the pain.

 

It is cathartic. Helped me a ton. Not kidding. Get it all out. Cry for hours doing this. Then stop get up and do something else.

 

I will try that Cav

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Coping Vortex
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know exactly how you feel! It's like a second breakup and you just got your heart broken all over again. I wish I could give you advice but I'm in the same boat myself. Hang in there. Things will get better as the days go by. That's all we can do right now.

 

Thank you. Its so hard because I know she is in the mountains right now with her BF and her kids. Having a blast just making the love bond between them even tighter. So hard to bear. I men she has only known this guy for 6 weeks. And now he is the love of her life?

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My ex left me for another guy. We were together..good by sex ecetera and 2 days later she was out with this guy. I was replaced after 8 years in a blink of an eye.

 

Today im feeling pretty damn good after almost 4 months NC. The searing torture like pain ends after a few weeks of NC. Then you enter a different phase.

 

The good thing is you have now given up all hope and can truly start to heal. And i know you wont break NC. Too painful. Believe me NC is easier than any sort of contact. It is nice knowing all hope is gone. Sorta a type of comfort that all the false hope is gone and you move forward however painful. There is NO CHOICE now. So be grateful that your path is now clear instead of a murky mixture of hope and pain.

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Thank you. Its so hard because I know she is in the mountains right now with her BF and her kids. Having a blast just making the love bond between them even tighter. So hard to bear. I men she has only known this guy for 6 weeks. And now he is the love of her life?

 

No. Love of her life? Definitely not. She may be into this guy right now. That's her right. She doesn't owe you anything anymore except for an apology which you probably won't get. Don't beat yourself up and drive yourself crazy thinking about how she "loves" him now, how she told you she "loved" you. The word "love" has really lost it's meaning, everyone says it. Few people can show it anymore.

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My ex left me for another guy. We were together..good by sex ecetera and 2 days later she was out with this guy. I was replaced after 8 years in a blink of an eye.

 

Today im feeling pretty damn good after almost 4 months NC. The searing torture like pain ends after a few weeks of NC. Then you enter a different phase.

 

The good thing is you have now given up all hope and can truly start to heal. And i know you wont break NC. Too painful. Believe me NC is easier than any sort of contact. It is nice knowing all hope is gone. Sorta a type of comfort that all the false hope is gone and you move forward however painful. There is NO CHOICE now. So be grateful that your path is now clear instead of a murky mixture of hope and pain.

 

Cav you are so right. I can start to feel a glimmer of that. Even when I had sex with her last Monday I felt like she was a bit of a stranger. Like a peice wasn't mine. In fact when she left me that day she gave me the impression we were back as a couple and all I had to do with push the new guy out of the picture. Just a few dates, some sex and we could have gotten on track again. But when i left that day I did not feel and joy I felt the same dispair I felt when I first saw her again. I felt that love bond we had and the grip I had on heart wasn't there. It was a bit surreal. However, I didn't realize she would then tell me the opposite of what she told me that day. So cruel. I would have never never done that to anyone.

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