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I Want Her Back So Badly, Anybody?...(Long Post)


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We started meeting up, id drive up to hers and pick her up and we would just hang out talking in my car for 9-10 hours at a time, no touching or anything we just instantly connected.

 

A month later she got back with her ex because he brought her a crystal necklace and apologised, her admitting she liked me though, they only lasted 2 weeks till she found out he had cheated when they were together originally, got an STI and passed it to her.

 

Through all that i was there for her and she got herself treated for the STI and we eventually met up as a 'date', i took her to the cinema and a meal and then we went for a walk down the park where we completely lost ourselves and went behind a bush and used our hands on each other, which is completely opposite to the conservative way we usually were showing how comfortable we were together.

 

We then made the relationship official, much to her friends dismay. Her friends were obsessed with her ex who would beat her up because he was from a rough area and was constantly having run ins with the law and im a posh uptown guy with everything going for me (university, job, family, friends). Her friends hated to see her happy with me when they wanted to still hang around in the other guys area. So my gf had to pretend everything was terrible in our relationship, that we were always arguing and she was checking out other boys to make her friends happy.

 

Me and her were happy though, when we were together in either of our places we would always just lounge around and watch tv all snuggled up, if we were out in public we never let go of each other and we were constantly giving a public dispay of affection. We went everywhere together, and did so much stuff, we booked a holiday and went to Egypt together for our year anniversary we was doing amazing.

 

There were bad parts to the relationship of course, i was insecure about myself not being good enough for her so i would call her names like fatty (she wasn't overweight at all, she was thin but not toned) so she would think i was good enough for her. I couldnt control my emotions very well, i would react to every little thing and resort to calling her names and arguments would end in me bringing her STI and such things up. We would only argue about 2-3 times a month though which was not too bad. After my ex cheated on me i had big trust issues aswell and i would get nervous and accusing of this girl and it would result in me going off in a massive strop.

 

She also had problems, she was bad at communicating and would lie, a problem she got from her ex because he would beat her up if she did something wrong and so she would tell me she was at home etc when she was out at clubs. This was also because of her friends always telling her she should be single she wanted to put on a front that she was free to do what she wanted. She also never appreciated a thing i did for her, when we first got together i did things and she would be thankful but after a while in the relationship she just expected me to do everything. These things included buying her a £100 Vera Wang perfume, cooking her a suprise 3 course meal and taking her out for the night on the town when she was under stress. She took all these without a word of appreciation, just shrugged it off as if i was supposed to do that.

 

After one and a half years together, in September she went off to university, this was a local one so she could still be close to me, we were going to live together in a rented apartment that was in between both of our universitys so she could save around £3000 off the cost of living in university accomodation. Her dad wouldnt allow that though, he wanted her to move in to university, so in the end she moved in to university and i lived with my parents. With my university schedule being tuesday-friday and working saturday and sunday i had hardly any time to see her, I would come round on a Sunday night about 11pm and stay till Monday when she had lectures. When i came round we would just go through her work, id help her with it all which we did for 3 months every week, just going through her work and occasionaly walking into town to get some shopping.

 

This was a completely new course to her she had never done before so she was getting extremely stressed and agitated over it, while i was in my final year doing Rocket Science which was hard and stressing me out, so we started taking it out on each other when we weren't together we would just argue over text. Her two flat mates she got on with, one was a complete slag who has slept with every guy on the floor and the other is a complete psychotic b*tch who suffers mental issues who is extremely ugly and no boy wants with a horrible personality (she through a phone at my gf's face because she told her to wash her hands after touching raw chicken). These two were out partying all the time with the guys and the guys were texting my gf non stop flirting with her, coming round her flat everyday and joking around with her making her laugh. Whereas with me i just helped her out on boring work and we would argue in the week.

 

My gf must have felt left out thinking she was stuck in doing work while these others were out partying getting with hundreds of guys. My gf was also so used to putting a bad face on our relationship to her friends that she did it with all these people at university too.

 

In December my friend died and i had to go far up north to see my mate who lived with him (whose gf was cheating on him and his dad just died) and comfort him, i stopped at my gf's the night before travelling and in the morning she wouldnt get up to say bye to me which really hurt so i said "come to say bye or were over". She never came and i stormed out the apartment and didnt speak to her for a few days leaving it on a bad note.

 

Another boy then jumped in their and started texting her and came to her flat and they had a little water fight, during which she realised she liked him because he was fun and they had "banter" with each other. This boy liked my gf also and was on her course and they was in the same group of friends and they lived within a 100m of each other in the same building. He was also a no-hope at university, he never turned up to lessons and worked as a club promoter whose job it was to get people to come into a club. Whereas i was a manager of a shop and was top of my class in university.

 

That was the last time i saw my gf, at the start of December when i stormed out her apartment, she text me telling me about her and this other guy and she wanted a break from me to see what she wanted from life. On christmas eve she met up with this other boy and went christmas shopping and they kissed and since then she met up with him a few more times and went out with him on her birthday and they keep hooking up. Her friends say he looks just like me, and i feel he just represents me but the old me giving her the fun times that we used to have.

 

I was devastated, i was in love with this girl, i had been planning to propose to her to make it up to her, because we always talked about marriage and spending our lives together. She was the most beautiful girl in the world and she had the most amazing personality, she was innocent, sweet and she was going to go far in life. I had never loved a girl like i had her.

 

So of course pretty much everyday i begged, i pleaded, i sent her love poems, i tried asking all her friends what she was thinking about, i sent her links i had researched on rebuilding relationships etc. I saw a relationship councillor to see where i had gone wrong and help me improve myself, i also took communication classes to help me learn about controlling emotions. I would then decide i was giving up on her but a few hours later give in and try to talk again to no avail.

 

The problem is this guy is in her friend group so all their friends tell her to get with him because to them mine and her relationship was just arguing as that was all she told them, her old friends at home also like him because he is from a dodgy area too. Her friends have convinced her over the last month that our relationship would never work because we always argued and we never had any good times, she started to believe and told me that, when i pointed out to her how wrong that was she stopped talking. I havent talked to her since Saturday and i am trying to keep to no contact. I am also trying to move on but no girls compare to her at all, she was a 10/10 in every department and i do not connect with any girls i try and talk to like we did. I looked on her twitter and facebook accounts and she still has pictures of me and her on them and she has been on and edited caption recently to all her photos and deleted some of herself etc, but left our ones up.

 

I do not know what to do anymore, can anybody please help me, if they have advice how to win her back or if they can help me get over her and move on i would be so thankful...i already removed as much of her out my life as possible

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Okay, well. You need to stay NC. Sending her love poems, and texts and phonecalls only strokes her ego and then she would start to think that your a stalking creep and that's EXACTLY what her friends are telling her you are.

 

Right now, this other guy is Prince Charming and her friends are telling her so. You're not going to win this won because she's too easily influenced.

 

So, as much as you don't want to hear this, I think it's time to move on. Whether she realizes this dude is a mistake, that's not for you to decide for her. I mean, one day she'll realize that this guy might be fun now...but, when he fails out of college with no prospects, he might not be the "catch" that she once thought. Oh, and Club Promoter my ass. He stands outside the door to the club an tries to get people to go in. That's not a Club Promoter, that's a Doorman. So, maybe she'll realize that she gave up a Rocket Scientist for a Doorman. Some women may not openly agree with me, but women do look at what kind of future could he possibily provide for her in the future when the honeymoon phase of a relationship ends. That's just a natural instinct in women when choosing a mate.

 

You need to continue with NC. Do NOT respond to any texts, e-mails or phonecalls. If they happen, ignore them and post here. She may want to get you in the friend zone and some guys are desperate enought to agree to it. Any reason to be near them, but in the long run, they usually end up getting hurt. And you don't deserve that.

 

Right now, you need to focus on you. What you need to be doing. Making positive changes in your life. Finding new hobbies to keep you occupied. Going to the gym and working off all those stressors and frustrations. Focus on your school work. Because, when you graduate, you're going to be set up! Hell, if your degree is in rocket science, you could come to the states and work for NASA in sunny and warm Florida!! After work everyday, going home to a place overlooking where the Altantic Ocean meets the Carribean Sea with palm trees and sandy beaches. You have to start looking at the BIG PICTURE. You have to look out for your own life and what direction it takes. If she doesn't want to come along for the ride, HER LOSS!!! SHe's the one that gave up on a good thing, not you.

Edited by Chi townD
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She is not a 10/10 in every department. You've idolised her. Focus on her flaws and bad points and you'll soon realise there are far better women out there.

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I stopped reading after you said you started calling her fat because of YOUR insecurities.

 

My brain is unable to process that level of childishness.

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