I feel SO betrayed

[Quietpeace]

Hey all... i was engaged to this guy, he was actually bringing his parents home this december. the history of our relationship was this, first we work together ya i know big relationship mistake, i earn more than him so he moved into my house so we could pull our finances together and try to make it together. I did everything i could to make it work. Last year we broke up briefly for like 3 days and he broke it off because he fell in love with an intern that also works for the same company as us, he dissolved the affair and came back and promised to never do it again. He also had this hot and cold behaviors that really confused me too. one year later he proposed, i was ecstatic! little did i know his character would teach me a lesson. on november 4th he broke up with me i realized its because of another woman i felt so devastated and i begged him not to go!! i felt so silly afterward. now i had to break the news to my parents who told me its better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage because sooner or later he wouldve gone. im sooo broken people, i have googled all over how to get over someone, how to heal etc, its now about a month and yes it gets easier atleast now i can sleep but i feel so betrayed!!!! i call him and he never picks up his phone, he never replies my texts etc. PLEASE HELP IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK!

[LostOne1]

see your biggest mistake is CONTACTING him.. you first need to stop all and any contact. When you contact him it shows him he has you.. he controls you is this what you want?

 

Why would someone want to respond to another, who is constantly after them and doesn't stop.

 

The path to healing is to stop all contact, that will allow you to slowly get the flow of him not being around.

 

You do have a long way to go for healing but it all starts off with NO contact!

[coans]

one month into a broken engagement and it is no wonder you feel horrible. I do think that you're parents are right. All I can suggest is you spend time with them...listen to your parents as they care mostly about you and no one else.

 

I am not sure if I knew this before but when they suggest No Contact it is not so that it makes it easier on the guy...it makes it easier on YOU. To be ignored like that..and no one respond to you it is a terrible feeling. It makes it worse. Also, there is a good book and blog I found..(two in fact)..called Getting Past Your Breakup or the blog is gettingpastyourpast.com. And, the other one is called Baggage Reclaim. Believe it or not, it has a lot of questions you are asking answered. Get through this with help from your family or friends (I have found friends do get worn out listening to us after awhile and have thought about going to a therapist just to have a place to vent or work it out...I am four months into a breakup and having trouble moving on ...but just take care of yourself now and just off the contact. I think you will feel just a little better doing that as your first step. sorry for the loss..it is not easy at all.

[imstatic]

I agree with the no contact policy.

 

- I know it's hard, but try not to call him. Your only option is to disconnect entirely. Keeping tabs on him will only make your pain grow. Start by blocking his facebook profile, pictures of him are the most hurtful.

 

- Try to keep in touch with your family and true friends. People who really care for you will help you get over him, the right way. Avoid friends who suggest sleeping randomly with other people, they don't know what they're talking about. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you as a wreck.

 

- Focus on the good things. Can you imagine how worse it could have been if he had called it quits in the middle of your marriage, with kids, financial obligations, etc.? You're lucky!

 

I sincerely hope this helps, it certainly did for me.