To block or not to block....

[jwhite]

I have read conflicting suggestions throughout LS.

 

1. Some say to block. Block the dumper on FB, Phone, ect..

 

OPINION: The idea is to prevent yourself from seeing something that can hurt you even more...I guess

 

2. Some say not to.

 

OPINION: I think because it shows weakness to the dumper.In this case, doesnt this method essentially say that you want the dumper to FEEL something for you? Could this really even AID in the dumpers being able to move on b/c they think that you are doing ok?

 

I understand that there will be other opinions, but I would like to know which is best. What does each accomplish-- aside from my own opinions.

 

I still have part of me that still wants her back and would do something like block or not blocking to help me actually achive that. However, most of me want to move on.

[cavalier99]

A "part" of all of us wants them back but it isnt happening and it isnt healthy to hold onto that idea. What we really want back is the idealized idea of what it once was when it was good... and now it is over FOREVER.

 

Option 1 is the only way for me. Who wants to be tempted. Burn all bridges to that past and kill ALL hope. It is the path forward.

 

Who gives a sh-t about "supposdly" showing weakeness by blocking. This is pure self preservation here. It would only be their interpretaion anyway (if they even view it that way). And what they think doesnt matter at ALL. They dont exist in our reality now.

 

I find it strange that people talk about showing weakenss ecetera and what will the EX think. Maybe it is just me but what is the point of thinking : Are they suffering? Do they think of us? Is the door still open in their minds. What will happen when they contact us? It is all pointless thinking IMO. Once I went NC there was no turning back for me. My EX doent exist in my life now PERIOD. Im mean hey... I still battle demos daily about breakup and the past but I know what reality is also.

Edited November 26, 2012 by cavalier99

[jwhite]

To quote from your awrsome rant back in Oct.

 

" Im even sick of trying to feel so positive. ****"

 

F-ckn LOVE that. It seems so friggin fake right now.

 

Do you feel any better? It has been 4 months right?

[cavalier99]

Glad u enjoyed the rant! Lol. Not sure where that came from but I really felt every word I wrote. Maybe I've helped some people without even knowing it ..good feeling.

 

That rant actually seemed to be a turning point for me and it was just Nov 15 that I wrote that. I haven't cried since. So still just 2 months plus but I feel stronger. Will love to be at 4 months! Lol...I think i might even be over it by then.

 

It is like all the drama of the past is becoming more like a bad dream that becomes hazier and harder and harder to FEEL. I mean I remember everything but the strong emotions relating to it are fading slowly unless I let myself wallow, and i make a effort not to do that. I guess i just feel stronger and i can snap myself out any funk faster.

 

Thanks for asking. I haven't really reflected on how i have been doing until now but i think OK. Cool! Maybe Im stronger than I thought. Maybe WE ALL ARE and just need to find it inside ourselves.

 

Keep it up. You'll be fine. Hope you are on your way!

Edited November 26, 2012 by cavalier99

[flitzanu]

I have read conflicting suggestions throughout LS.

 

1. Some say to block. Block the dumper on FB, Phone, ect..

 

OPINION: The idea is to prevent yourself from seeing something that can hurt you even more...I guess

 

2. Some say not to.

 

OPINION: I think because it shows weakness to the dumper.In this case, doesnt this method essentially say that you want the dumper to FEEL something for you? Could this really even AID in the dumpers being able to move on b/c they think that you are doing ok?

 

I understand that there will be other opinions, but I would like to know which is best. What does each accomplish-- aside from my own opinions.

 

I still have part of me that still wants her back and would do something like block or not blocking to help me actually achive that. However, most of me want to move on.

 

why is blocking them saying that you want the dumper to feel something for you, and why do you care about aiding the dumpers being able to move on?

 

by simply concerning yourself with the "dumper", you're not grasping the concept of NC. it's for YOU, and only you, and has nothing to do with the other person.