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Well i had a posted a thread a few weeks ago about the same problem. Thanks to the replies i had. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/352722-break-u

 

Rather than repeat myself, it's all on there how about how i had a feeling my 'boyfriend' was seeing another girl, he denied it etc etc.

Well 2 weekends ago he told me he wouldn't be back to our home city for long at xmas (he's working overseas in another European country), but would buy me a flight to visit him, or stay if i wanted. Naturally i was upset as i wanted to spend time with him. Rather than being symapthetic he didn't seem bothered.

 

Now I feel like such a fool for ignoring all the warning signs and making excuses for his behaviour and how he had changed. He must have been playing me all along, and for some reason keeping me as a plan b. I guess now that the closer he has become to her, the further apart we became.

Crazy as the other week he was telling me he was thinking about moving back to the uk as he missed a lot of things, and it was the only way we could be together. I do kind of believe he was thinking about moving back to the uk, but not sure if was anything to do with wanting to be with me. Especially as she has moved back to her own European country for a few weeks each month from the country he moved to in February.

 

Well today i have seen enough to know there must be something between them. This is a girl he doesn't think i know about as he has never mentioned her to me by name.

On an open profile on facebook i saw a tagged photo of him and her from a black tie event he went to on Saturday night. Again he didn't say he went with her. Although i think the picture of them says enough. Nothing incriminating, although is a definite 'couple' picture.

This weekend he was so quiet. I guess cooped up in bed with her as it's his first weekend he's had his flat to himself as he's had his relatives stay a few weeks on holiday.

Looking back at everything i should have gone with my gut months ago. By now i would have started healing. Whatever his reason for stringing me along, i can't fathom? He said the other week he had a lot to think about in regards to maybe returning to the uk and stuff. So he sounds confused, but no excuse to play with peoples hearts.

 

So now i have 2 hours until he wakes up to decide what to do. Just ignore his moring text and go no contact, or let him know i know what he's been up to? I can't believe how hurt i am. It's going to be hard but i guess i need to forget him for my own sake. I've wasted 10 months of my life worrying about him, so going cold turkey is going to be hell :(

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I feel for you, the way my ex ended things to left me stringing along for months it really hurts. It might be tough but i think the best thing to do is walk away and not look back. I don't get it, but to many people lie during a BU, it's best not to believe much if any of it imo especially when it comes to seeing other people.

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I feel for you, the way my ex ended things to left me stringing along for months it really hurts. It might be tough but i think the best thing to do is walk away and not look back. I don't get it, but to many people lie during a BU, it's best not to believe much if any of it imo especially when it comes to seeing other people.

Good advice... !

 

Just move on and don't waste your time.

 

Trust me it will hurt for a bit, but after it's going to feel much better. You'll learn to love YOURSELF and that truly makes you feel awesome.

 

I thought I would die.. now almost at 3 months, I feel a lot better now. Starting to get confident with seeing other people as well.

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I feel for you, the way my ex ended things to left me stringing along for months it really hurts. It might be tough but i think the best thing to do is walk away and not look back. I don't get it, but to many people lie during a BU, it's best not to believe much if any of it imo especially when it comes to seeing other people.

 

Thanks Suladas. I'm sorry you had to go through a similar thing. I don't get why they do it either? Don't they realise it hurts more this way? Or just not care? He messaged this morning and i responded like i was none the wiser :( I just couldn't say anything or just ignore him. I know i need to for my own sanity, but he's like a drug.

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Good advice... !

 

Just move on and don't waste your time.

 

Trust me it will hurt for a bit, but after it's going to feel much better. You'll learn to love YOURSELF and that truly makes you feel awesome.

 

I thought I would die.. now almost at 3 months, I feel a lot better now. Starting to get confident with seeing other people as well.

 

I know you're speaking sense LostOne1, but it's so hard to just walk away and break all contact. I already miss the limited contact we have, so i'm scared of how empty i'll feel.

I realise i must sound like a total idiot and like i have no self esteem. I used to, but feel like it's all been drained out of me over the last few months.

I don't want to have anyone else. I just wish this is all in my head and they are just friends. I sound so pathetic, i know, but finding the strength to never speak to him again is so damn difficult.

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It is difficult. Most of us have been there and slipped up and know how it feels to text the ex and get no response. Or get a response then nothing again. It hurts. I still once in a while want to text her but you learn nothing good can come from it, I haven't contacted her in 1 1/2 months now, it does get easier. Eventually it becomes the norm, and wanting to contact them is not the norm anymore.

 

Just tell yourself if they wanted to talk to you, they would. Because it's the truth. I don't fault anyone for reaching out once, but after that it's best to just move on and not contact them again.

 

Ya I don't understand it. Some of the things my ex said and did around the BU made it hurt me so much worse. It hurts worse when they add "im saying this because I care about you". I honestly believe if my ex did it in a good tactful way, I wouldn't of shed a single tear, or really cared, and would of had no problem staying in contact, and would of had a lot more respect for her. I just hold my head high, and know one day her conscience will catch up with her on it, we live next door to each other, she has to live with what she did :)

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It is difficult. Most of us have been there and slipped up and know how it feels to text the ex and get no response. Or get a response then nothing again. It hurts. I still once in a while want to text her but you learn nothing good can come from it, I haven't contacted her in 1 1/2 months now, it does get easier. Eventually it becomes the norm, and wanting to contact them is not the norm anymore.

 

Just tell yourself if they wanted to talk to you, they would. Because it's the truth. I don't fault anyone for reaching out once, but after that it's best to just move on and not contact them again.

 

Ya I don't understand it. Some of the things my ex said and did around the BU made it hurt me so much worse. It hurts worse when they add "im saying this because I care about you". I honestly believe if my ex did it in a good tactful way, I wouldn't of shed a single tear, or really cared, and would of had no problem staying in contact, and would of had a lot more respect for her. I just hold my head high, and know one day her conscience will catch up with her on it, we live next door to each other, she has to live with what she did :)

 

The going no contact will be the hardest thing i imagine. More so when it's time when you usually chat and stuff. Well done on you for not contacting her for 1 1/2 months :) Especially when you live next door to each other!

 

Well yesterday I replied to his morning message. I know I shouldn’t have, but i couldn't do the nc. He was being sweet and like the old him. Then later on I gave him some news he should have been over the moon about, as it meant it would be easier for us to be together. He was nice, but the reaction wasn’t how you’d expect a man in love to react. This morning (well my morning, as I’m in Australia for 8 weeks on work) he actually replied to my good morning msg, which he’s ignored for the past few weeks. He was being the old him. Then before he said night he told me he has been asked to apply for a job in her home country. He’s oblivious I know about her.

So I asked him if he’s going to do it?

 

It just seems such a coincidence that this was after I gave him news meaning we could be together. I guess he's trying to let me down gently by pretending to still care but then dropping a bombshell on me?

I also guess he can't see that by being all sweet when he wants, does more long term damage then just manning up and ending things. He knows i've been hurt before so maybe he's trying to save my self esteem from knowing the truth.

 

It's so hard to just ignore him though. But the sweet words must be a smokescreen as his actions aren't matching his words.

I can't work out what to do for the best for me. To just ignore and go no contact and let him wonder (or more likely be relieved) or to let him know i know all about his girlfriend there?

I know by ignoring part of me will still be hoping he'll change his mind, whereas telling him i know he has another girl will surely mean i'll never hear from him personally again.

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I know you're speaking sense LostOne1, but it's so hard to just walk away and break all contact. I already miss the limited contact we have, so i'm scared of how empty i'll feel.

I realise i must sound like a total idiot and like i have no self esteem. I used to, but feel like it's all been drained out of me over the last few months.

I don't want to have anyone else. I just wish this is all in my head and they are just friends. I sound so pathetic, i know, but finding the strength to never speak to him again is so damn difficult.

See breaking off all contact is the only way. I know how you feel, because everyone told me the same stuff.. I never really listened and at times I caved in and chased. It pushed my ex further and further. Now I lost her.. heck it's possible I lost her way before to another guy possibly why she broke up with me.

 

All I can say is right now it's gonna feel SOOOOOOOO tough. But I've been BU for 3 months now. And haven't talked in maybe 2 weeks. Last msg was her telling me she hates me and me thanking her for all she did and telling her I was moving on and never going to contact her back again.

 

I know she thinks I will cave in again like many times before. But this time I won't... I realized I deserve better and I realize I made many mistakes, which got her to BU with me or leave me for someone else. But if she wanted to work it out, she had many chances that I gave her to sit and talk.

 

Trust me and take my advice just recently going through it all. Delete and block all social networking sites with your ex. Erase the text, phone calls etc.. put all your ex stuff away in a box.

 

Hang with friends, go out and just treat yourself. But tell yourself no matter what happens you will NOT give into contacting your ex.

 

Trust me after a few months 2-3 it gets so much easier. After that all you think about is the mistakes you made, and how you can learn from them so you don't hurt someone else and have them hurt you back.

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See breaking off all contact is the only way. I know how you feel, because everyone told me the same stuff.. I never really listened and at times I caved in and chased. It pushed my ex further and further. Now I lost her.. heck it's possible I lost her way before to another guy possibly why she broke up with me.

 

All I can say is right now it's gonna feel SOOOOOOOO tough. But I've been BU for 3 months now. And haven't talked in maybe 2 weeks. Last msg was her telling me she hates me and me thanking her for all she did and telling her I was moving on and never going to contact her back again.

 

I know she thinks I will cave in again like many times before. But this time I won't... I realized I deserve better and I realize I made many mistakes, which got her to BU with me or leave me for someone else. But if she wanted to work it out, she had many chances that I gave her to sit and talk.

 

Trust me and take my advice just recently going through it all. Delete and block all social networking sites with your ex. Erase the text, phone calls etc.. put all your ex stuff away in a box.

 

Hang with friends, go out and just treat yourself. But tell yourself no matter what happens you will NOT give into contacting your ex.

 

Trust me after a few months 2-3 it gets so much easier. After that all you think about is the mistakes you made, and how you can learn from them so you don't hurt someone else and have them hurt you back.

 

I know i need to break contact. I can't get him to be honest and do the right thing. For some reason he seems to be pushing for me to do the final breaking up.

Last night he basically said he won't be moving back to our home country. But is still 'acting' like he cares. Even randomly text me and told me to get saving for the rio olympics in 2016.

So like he is faking a future for us that he has no intentions of seeing through.

I can't guess why he would do this when he has another girl? I can only clutch at straws and guess he feels so guilty he's trying to make a break up seem like my idea? So passivley aggressively trying to get me to do the deed. Or keeping me around with minimal effort as a plan b?

If only he knew i knew the truth. He would be so shocked.

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