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unhappy in my marriage but also unhappy going for seperation


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Old 24th March 2004, 1:23 PM   #1
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Unhappy unhappy in my marriage but also unhappy going for seperation

I am 35 yrs old living in one country and i married my husband2 yrs back.and he lives in other country.we stayed together for only 15 days in these 2 yrs.My husband had certain misunderstandings with my family at the time of our marriage.He just does not forget or forgive those things.He does not understand the significance of comminication in long distance marriage.He has not made much efforts for my immigration to his place of residence.For the last 18 months he tells me that he has lost all feelings for me.We met once last year for 6 days but during that time he seemed very distant emotionally.
He tells me that his family forces him to continue this relationship.For the last 1 year he is out of job and stressed.My feelings for him have also almost died.At first i used to get hysterical at the name os divorce.But now i feel extremely unhappy in this marriage,so last week i asked for the seperation.He was surprised at that.He tried telling me that i should give it another thought.Although i think i will be unhappy with him but people tell me that we never really got the chance to live together and understand each other.At present i am also extremely unhappy even at this my own decision of leacing him.Are these seperation pangs normal?Do you think that there is any room for improvement in my marriage?
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Old 24th March 2004, 1:28 PM   #2
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You don't have a marriage. The guy's a jerk. He has told you for the last year and a half that he doesn't love you. You admit your feelings for him are almost dead. So what do you think you have here? Sounds like close to nothing to me! Your only problem is getting a divorce in the most expeditious manner possible. I hope next time you will consider marrying somebody you can be with more than 15 days in a two year period. That's nuts!

And, by the way, I hate to be the one to tell you...you HAVE been separated for quite some time. Sorry you didn't notice.
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Old 24th March 2004, 1:32 PM   #3
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Ditto
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Old 24th March 2004, 1:42 PM   #4
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With a total of '15 shared days in 2 years'......I don't know why you would feel different separated or if you had never even met him at all.

Is there ANY reason why you feel so inclined to remain in a marriage where you don't even really live together and he says he doesn't love you?????
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Old 25th March 2004, 9:44 AM   #5
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Unhappy

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I would like to clarify certain things.Actually when we got married.We knew that we will be living seperately for some time as the immigration process required me to wait for some time.Now his family is saying that he will manage to get me over there with him in few months.But i do not rely him.As far as comminication is concerned things were all right in a way that we used to chat online thrice a week.But after he lost his job he became very rude which he attributes to stress.Also tell me one thing.He had been telling me that he is unhappy in this marriage for 1 year,now that i want to free him from this marriage then why is he asking me to think over it again?
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Old 25th March 2004, 10:16 AM   #6
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maybe

Maybe because his Indian family (am I guessing right) wants to save this mairrage because they arranged it???

Am I guessing right?
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