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What to believe? Lot's of wrong information regarding staying friends in Facebook


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many pages including here talk about deleting and blocking an Ex from facebook and so on... What is right? who cares if you look childish? who gives a f* what your ex things if they let you go... and doing things to hurt you.......? but many other say this:

 

How Does Your Ex React to Being De-Friended?

 

Defriending your ex boyfriend immediately following a breakup does nothing but display how you really feel about the situation as a whole. You broke up when you probably wanted nothing of the sort. In essence, your ex took some scissors and successfully severed you from their life. It's a natural instinct to want to do the same. Revenge is very powerful motivator. But your ex doesn't see it the way that you do. Overly dramatic or emotional behavior like this that may later be regretted does nothing to improve your chances of reconciliation - they limit them significantly. Reacting in this way may be a natural instinct but it is not beneficial to either one of you.

 

The only thing you're proving to your ex by deleting him from Facebook immediately after breaking up is showing them how childish and immature you are. They'll see the hurt underneath the calm exterior you might have shown them during the actual breakup process, and they'll get an inside look into how you really feel about the situation as a whole. It makes you look angry, petty and vengeful and this can ruin your opportunity to reconcile your relationship down the road.

 

The most common reaction to being defriended is simply humor. Your ex is just going to laugh at you. They're not going to sit at home crying that they're not on your Facebook friends list anymore. It's not going to wound their spirit and make them want to change their mind. They'll shrug it off and forgetting about you will be even easier - you've taken a very powerful tool away from yourself in the process of getting back together, and you haven't accomplished any of the things you were intending. If you have no interest in getting back together, though, then defriending your ex is one of the best things you can do to start the process of getting on with your life and leaving the past behind you.

 

 

all this Besides how you feel and what you want to do....

 

 

WHAT WOULD BE RIGHT?

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Simon Phoenix

I just shut off her news feed from mine. Therefore I can keep her as a friend and avoid any drama that comes from defriending her (I have friends in her family) yet I can still be rid of any references to her as long as I don't go creeping on her page. I haven't looked at her page for over a week, so I think I can handle that.

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Can someone explain to me how if you delete someone who is no longer a "friend" it's the end of the world? I do not comprehend this.

 

What "friends", your Ex and their family may or may not think is more important than your own sanity and happiness? Really?

it hurt me too when my ex's sister unfriended me. But to be fair, I put her on a restricted list. Because I didn't want my ex snooping my FB profile through hers. It isn't fair that she blocks me and then can expect she or her sis can snoop my page.

 

And obviously her or her sister DID snoop on my page, that's why and how she unfriended me.

 

I don't hate her sister at all, but I didn't want to give details about myself to her. If she is gonna keep me in the dark, well then I'll keep her in the dark too.

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Re-read what you just wrote.

 

Do you not see how stupid and childish what you just said / think is?

 

Your vagina starts to hurt because your Ex's sister deleted you from Facebook?

LOL?

 

I was close with her sister, she was like my sister and I spent a lot of time with my ex and her sister on family outings.

 

Of course it would hurt, it was also the last link I had to her family. It's not easy to go into a new family get to know everyone, and become part of the group. Only to be tossed away just like that....

 

My sister never did that to my ex, but always showed her respect.

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Simon Phoenix
Can someone explain to me how if you delete someone who is no longer a "friend" it's the end of the world? I do not comprehend this.

 

What "friends", your Ex and their family may or may not think is more important than your own sanity and happiness? Really?

 

If it becomes an issue I'll delete her. But it's not, so why open that door if I don't have to? I don't need to pull a "look at me" move right now and delete her. I have her newsfeed shut off, so I basically deleted her without all of the sideshow elements to it. I'll revisit it if it becomes a problem, but right now it's not one.

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I initially blocked my ex, without realizing that would take him off my friend list. Then I realized how easy it was to un-block him and look at his friends list at 3AM to try to figure out which skanky girl he was sleeping with (even though there was no indication that was even going on). So, I de-activated my account for a few months. Now I'm back, and I'm not friends with him or any of the people I met through them. I think it's understandable to not want any connection for a while, and isn't always a revenge tactic. If de-friending him on Facebook will make him not want to ever reconcile in the future, he has more problems than I thought and I wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

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ok my ex does not have facebook, thank god lol

 

But i blocked his number the last time we fought and i went into NC

 

so does that make me childish?

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OMG yet another FB deleting posting. Wish I had a dollar for each of these.

 

And ironically the folks who ask for advice never actually take it. Not sure why I even bother.

 

Ill give it anyway. BLOCK your ex, BLOCK her family, her sister, her dog...everything! Dont be such a *****. Who gives a rats ass what they think. Maybe you being close to her sister was the reason she left you in the first place for crying out loud. Ever think of that?

 

FB is for children or adults who still are emotionally at the level of children IMO. Block all the crap and get the hell off FB. Get dressed and go OUT into the real world to meet REAL friends and visit your REAL family. Sheesh!

 

Sorry, but I had to rant. I really need to stay away from these FB threads LOL.

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Neahhhh... I still vote to de-friend. I have no business being friends with her on facebook after everything is said and done.

 

Only difference is, I'm not doing it our of spite or to "hurt" her, so i have a few fuhcks less whether she laughs, cries, or has multiple orgasms. I'm over it/her.

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Simon Phoenix

If it's painful for you, delete them. If it gives you closure, delete them. If it doesn't matter either way, then do whatever you want. Don't really get why people get so fired up about these threads.

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OMG yet another FB deleting posting. Wish I had a dollar for each of these.

 

And ironically the folks who ask for advice never actually take it. Not sure why I even bother.

 

Ill give it anyway. BLOCK your ex, BLOCK her family, her sister, her dog...everything! Dont be such a *****. Who gives a rats ass what they think. Maybe you being close to her sister was the reason she left you in the first place for crying out loud. Ever think of that?

 

FB is for children or adults who still are emotionally at the level of children IMO. Block all the crap and get the hell off FB. Get dressed and go OUT into the real world to meet REAL friends and visit your REAL family. Sheesh!

 

Sorry, but I had to rant. I really need to stay away from these FB threads LOL.

 

Ok so yeah my exes family is still on my facebook. But its not like i have a choice. we do all attend the same church. so what do i do just stop going? anyhow he does not bother me, seeing him there does not bother me, nor his family talking to me bothers me. He can still see that i obviously do not care.. SO what difference does it make if you delete someone or not. Dont your actions speak louder anyhow?

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Ok so yeah my exes family is still on my facebook. But its not like i have a choice. we do all attend the same church. so what do i do just stop going? anyhow he does not bother me, seeing him there does not bother me, nor his family talking to me bothers me. He can still see that i obviously do not care.. SO what difference does it make if you delete someone or not. Dont your actions speak louder anyhow?

 

BS excuse. You DO have a choice. Take them off your FB. That is an action that speaks louder than words.

 

What does FB have to do with church? Not a damn thing. They dont own the church right?

 

You can keep going and stay away from them. Or you can go to a different church. If they ask what's up just tell them you are respecting your walk away's wishes and trying to move on with your life without him / her / them. What happens if you meet somebody new and decide to get married there? Are you going to invite the exes family to your wedding? Of course not. Do you see the insanity there? Stop worrying about what other people think and just protect yourself and your future.

 

FB is a damn joke. The sooner you understand that the better.

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Simon Phoenix
BS excuse. You DO have a choice. Take them off your FB. That is an action that speaks louder than words.

 

What does FB have to do with church? Not a damn thing. They dont own the church right?

 

You can keep going and stay away from them. Or you can go to a different church. If they ask what's up just tell them you are respecting your walk away's wishes and trying to move on with your life without him / her / them. What happens if you meet somebody new and decide to get married there? Are you going to invite the exes family to your wedding? Of course not. Do you see the insanity there? Stop worrying about what other people think and just protect yourself and your future.

 

FB is a damn joke. The sooner you understand that the better.

 

You are way too emotionally invested in this issue.

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Agreed. There is nothing wrong with small talk/fb with a ex or their family if you can deal with it.

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Im not one to burn down bridges. Im too soft. Its fair enough to delete people to heal, but theres not an ex Ive had in my life, who i wouldnt want to talk to again at some point, perhaps im too forgiving, but even if you dont work out, doesnt mean theyre a bad person, or that i cant see the good in them.

 

Guess Im saying that deleting is one thing, but yeah, if that person were to contact me in the future i would be really wary of speaking to them again.....once things like "never contact me again", "im blocking you", etc etc are said, seriously i wouldnt respect them if they tried to get back in touch, damage is done.

 

Best thing Ive found is simply to deactivate for six months. gives you time to heal and move on and not have to delete them. then when you reapear you can maybe talk again on a friendship level.

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(Grammar-freak......Could a Moderator fix the apostrophe in the title?? AAAARRRGH!!)

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Facebook is a web site. It's purpose is to make money for its shareholders. Since its inception it has relied on fear and insecurity, and it is the power of fear that has made it so successful.

 

Use it how you wish to. Or let it use you. It's your choice.

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Facebollocks is Shyte, OK, now we've got the light hearted stuff out of the way. :laugh:

 

Really who cares?

 

People are always F'king nosey, even when someone leaves you and is with someone else, they can't bear the thought of you liking someone else and doing the things with your new partner as what you did with them, F'em I say, there choice, there loss.

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bluefairy812

the best thing i have done is delete facebook in general. i don't want to know sh*t about my ex, and i don't want his entire family and him knowing sh*t about me.

 

i have instagram now, where i have his sister... and guess what ? she has told him things she has seen on instagram about me... wtf? it's time i take her off too. my peace and sanity comes first before anyone's stupid "oh no, she took me off fb/instagram" bs. the best part is he blocked me on instragram too!!!! yet he has seen mine through his sisters. it's SUCH BS! f*ck all of that.

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the best thing i have done is delete facebook in general.

 

I need FB for professional reasons, and I use it solely for that purpose. Deleting it wasn't an option. My ex, though, used it for personal stuff, and so it was a no-brainer to unfriend her. It was surprisingly hard to push the button, but once it was done there was a sense of relief. I'm glad I did, and after about a month now, things are getting better. It was a good choice.

 

I don't know if making drastic changes to one's online presence or life because of an ex is a good approach. I mean, yes, running away and playing dead is tempting, but we all had lives before our exes, and we all have friends who are not connected to our former partners.

 

I refuse to give my ex more power than she already had/has over how I live my life.

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The most common reaction to being defriended is simply humor. Your ex is just going to laugh at you.

 

So? They are an ex. They could laugh or chuck eggs at your windows it wouldn't matter. You can't have other people's views and opinions to rule your life! Especially those that don't matter anymore.

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BS excuse. You DO have a choice. Take them off your FB. That is an action that speaks louder than words.

 

What does FB have to do with church? Not a damn thing. They dont own the church right?

 

You can keep going and stay away from them. Or you can go to a different church. If they ask what's up just tell them you are respecting your walk away's wishes and trying to move on with your life without him / her / them. What happens if you meet somebody new and decide to get married there? Are you going to invite the exes family to your wedding? Of course not. Do you see the insanity there? Stop worrying about what other people think and just protect yourself and your future.

 

FB is a damn joke. The sooner you understand that the better.

 

TO be honest with you, deleting them and then leaving the church would only cause more drama. They will feel hurt and rejected. And they will automatically know its because of my ex. I never started going to that church because of my ex. thats where we happened to meet when i moved into this town. why show them how weak I am? When in reality im so strong. Seeing them around is not holding me back from moving on. If i do get married depending if my new man wants a big wedding or not I actually might invite his sisters. whats the big deal? Plus im doing NC properly and not on speaking terms with my ex. I know he talked crap about me to them and some ppl that go there. Sadly they dont believe him and what he says. Thats just my opinion. Plus I dont go often to begin with because i work.

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ok, and even if my exes sisters report everything to my ex about what i do on facebook because im pretty sure he asks.. who cares? I feel flattered actually that hes curious. I dont ask them anything about him, and thats whats important

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many pages including here talk about deleting and blocking an Ex from facebook and so on... What is right? who cares if you look childish? who gives a f* what your ex things if they let you go... and doing things to hurt you.......? but many other say this:

 

How Does Your Ex React to Being De-Friended?

 

Defriending your ex boyfriend immediately following a breakup does nothing but display how you really feel about the situation as a whole. You broke up when you probably wanted nothing of the sort. In essence, your ex took some scissors and successfully severed you from their life. It's a natural instinct to want to do the same. Revenge is very powerful motivator. But your ex doesn't see it the way that you do. Overly dramatic or emotional behavior like this that may later be regretted does nothing to improve your chances of reconciliation - they limit them significantly. Reacting in this way may be a natural instinct but it is not beneficial to either one of you.

 

The only thing you're proving to your ex by deleting him from Facebook immediately after breaking up is showing them how childish and immature you are. They'll see the hurt underneath the calm exterior you might have shown them during the actual breakup process, and they'll get an inside look into how you really feel about the situation as a whole. It makes you look angry, petty and vengeful and this can ruin your opportunity to reconcile your relationship down the road.

 

The most common reaction to being defriended is simply humor. Your ex is just going to laugh at you. They're not going to sit at home crying that they're not on your Facebook friends list anymore. It's not going to wound their spirit and make them want to change their mind. They'll shrug it off and forgetting about you will be even easier - you've taken a very powerful tool away from yourself in the process of getting back together, and you haven't accomplished any of the things you were intending. If you have no interest in getting back together, though, then defriending your ex is one of the best things you can do to start the process of getting on with your life and leaving the past behind you.

 

 

all this Besides how you feel and what you want to do....

 

 

WHAT WOULD BE RIGHT?

 

what's right? removing your ex from your life. simple as that.

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TO be honest with you, deleting them and then leaving the church would only cause more drama. They will feel hurt and rejected. And they will automatically know its because of my ex. I never started going to that church because of my ex. thats where we happened to meet when i moved into this town. why show them how weak I am? When in reality im so strong. Seeing them around is not holding me back from moving on. If i do get married depending if my new man wants a big wedding or not I actually might invite his sisters. whats the big deal? Plus im doing NC properly and not on speaking terms with my ex. I know he talked crap about me to them and some ppl that go there. Sadly they dont believe him and what he says. Thats just my opinion. Plus I dont go often to begin with because i work.

 

They would be hurt? Seriously? Their offspring betrayed you. What do they expect? They are NOT your problem. Why are you making them one in your life. They are a non-issue.

 

And yeah I wonder what your future husband would think if you invited your exes sisters. Dont know about most but I personally would be offended by that if I were your fiancee. Hell why not invite some old boyfriends while your at it.

 

People tend to only look a things short term and do not look at the bigger picture. Women like to talk. Do you really want to stay friends with people from a tarnished past with whom you really have to ties too? I wouldnt, but that's just me. I would cut all ties.

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