Facebook: To delete or not to delete, that is the question?

[oasisfancortes]

I notice sometimes people post and bring up the subject of facebook, and ask whether it's a good idea to delete/block people after a breakup. Is it unnecessary, or appropriate to do? From the all the possible results of a breakup, what do you think is the best way to go about the virtual world when your former bf/gf is a part of it as well? Depending on how things ended, on good terms or like a trainwreck, what would be your course of action ?

 

My personal thoughts are it's okay to do it. For example, when my ex dumped me, I didn't want to see what she was doing, thinking, or who she was with because it would just bum me out. I also deleted her friends as well. I sent her message saying why (because seeing her profile would just be a reminder and wouldn't make getting over things easier), but she never replied. But anyways, that's pretty understandable right? What are your thoughts?

[bluefairy812]

I notice sometimes people post and bring up the subject of facebook, and ask whether it's a good idea to delete/block people after a breakup. Is it unnecessary, or appropriate to do? From the all the possible results of a breakup, what do you think is the best way to go about the virtual world when your former bf/gf is a part of it as well? Depending on how things ended, on good terms or like a trainwreck, what would be your course of action ?

 

My personal thoughts are it's okay to do it. For example, when my ex dumped me, I didn't want to see what she was doing, thinking, or who she was with because it would just bum me out. I also deleted her friends as well. I sent her message saying why (because seeing her profile would just be a reminder and wouldn't make getting over things easier), but she never replied. But anyways, that's pretty understandable right? What are your thoughts?

 

 

how shall i put this...

 

IT IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO REMOVE YOUR EX COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR LIFE. no if's ands or buts! you MUST do this to move on. seeing your ex post a bunch of crap on facebook is poison. since i know i have zero self control, i deleted my facebook entirely! and blocked him from other social sites. i don't WANT to know what he is doing because it will only hurt me and my healing process. i suggest you do the same. not sure why you told her, because an ex doesn't need explanations. stay NC, and keep strong.. the mind is a powerful thing. good luck!

[love does not exist]

Deactivate the thing. I just had to do that because when I got on I couldn't resist looking at hurtful ****. Plus, my drama was everyone business. **** Facebook, that **** is evil to me.

[Dblock10]

i think it depends on how it ended, how much pain your willing to go through, how mentally strong you are and what level of willpower you have.

 

personally iv'e only ever deleted one ex. long story.

 

with said current ex i haven't, i have just stayed off Facebook for a while. not sure if it will stay that way, think it depends on if i can handle her being with someone else and wether it bugs me every time i go on fb.

 

i hate regrets, so basically don't personally like to make split decisions or make a decision based on a heightened state of emotion. as i know its possible to leave someone on fb and move on and forget them, you just have to block the news feed and basically ignore them. you might say well in that case why not remove them, however down the line i think it would be good to have them on Facebook and not have to go through the ragmaroll of removing, awkwardness and thoughts that go along with doing so, what will they think, how will it make me feel only to add them later. all too much effort in my eyes.

 

best to avoid fb, get over it as best as poss and move on, then see how you feel.

 

saying that, if it really is too much, and you cant handle it even after a while then best to send them a message explaining why and that its not that you hate them etc..

Edited September 21, 2012 by Dblock10

[Simon Phoenix]

Having a discussion on this in another thread. I think for some people it's necessary and for some people it's not. Right now I have my ex still friended and don't plan on deleting her right now. I actually have three other exes as friends on facebook and two that aren't (of relationships that somewhat mattered). Either way, it's not worth it at this point.

 

First of all, she barely uses the thing -- hardly updates her status and almost all of the pictures of her taken within the last couple years are from other people. Hell, even when we were seeing each other we never communicated via Facebook -- be it liking each others posts, posting things on each others walls, heck, we only had a few pictures together that made it on there. Second of all, I think it'd make an issue of something that's not an issue right now and create more drama. I am best friends with her sister's husband and am friends with her sister, so there are politics at play.

 

Things could change and it might be more painful to have her on facebook than to deal with the political ramifications of it. If that happens, I'll delete. But it's not an issue now, so I'm not going to make it one. Obviously my case isn't typical so I can't blame people for doing that, but it's just not a necessary move for me right now.