Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Hi, I'm Hannah and I am new to this forum. Last Wednesday my girlfriend of 2 years and 5 months (This was my first relationship) broke up with me, she said she hadn't loved me for four months but couldn't find the words to tell me and she didn't want to lose our friendship. I cried and screamed and turned into a really nasty person for five days. But since yesterday I have no emotion. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad, I can't cry. I am just wondering if this is normal. Why have I all of a sudden got no emotion? I feel like I would rather be crying and screaming than feeling nothing at all. Isn't it a bit early for me to have no emotion? Shouldn't I still be crying? Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Two possible reasons 1) You don't even love her 2) You're in shock, I know I was in shock for awhile before getting all the emotions Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I do love her. I am still in love with her. Link to post Share on other sites
love does not exist Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 You should be happy. I wish I could feel nothing. Instead I have to feel angry, jealous, and depressed. I would do anything to feel nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I would rather be crying and screaming like I was last week, I just don't get why I can't feel anything now? Link to post Share on other sites
Berna Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Yep, I think it's shock and denial. You will feel sad and start to grieve when you are ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 But are you sure? Because I have already had five days of crying all day and screaming around the house but now all of a sudden I have no emotion? Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I felt like how you did 2 weeks after the breakup. Cried for those 2 weeks then i thought "hey! its over" 3rd week it all came back Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ahh. My Mum keeps telling my I will have good days and bad days but I can'treally pin point what sort of day today is. I would say it is more good thna bad, but in a way I feel like I am still 'with' my girlfriend although I haven't spoke to her. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Then you're definitely in shock, if you feel like you're with her. When the reality of breaking up settles down, be sure not to crack under pressure and know everyone here has gone through or is going through the same thing and you can always turn to here for support Link to post Share on other sites
lookinxforxchange Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ahh. My Mum keeps telling my I will have good days and bad days but I can'treally pin point what sort of day today is. I would say it is more good thna bad, but in a way I feel like I am still 'with' my girlfriend although I haven't spoke to her. :/ there is bumps and curves all over in the winding road ahead of you hannah and alot of us just move on and alot of us grieve over someone that we/they broke up with but in either case if they don't talk back the best solution would be for you to get out more and find someone that you can talk to besides your mom cause all moms say that you will have good days and bad days thats so old school parents don't know what any kid wants because there is to many parents that could careless about there kids which is sad but what i would do is find someone that you are really attached to and talk to them and eventually it will all be gone you will have new emotions fluttering if you dont believe me its fine just try it just delete her out of your life if she don't wanna talk to you cause obviously she doesn't love you as much as you did her i got lots more to talk about so come at me with anything Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 Sav; But it didn't feel like I was with her when I was going through my crying stage because I knew it was over and I knew we were apart. This is all so confusing. Lookinxforxchange; Yeah but I am so close to my Mum and she is always there for me so I feel like I can tell her anything. The thing is I dropped all my friends to spend all my time with my girlfriend (Ex :/) (Mistake, I know!!!!) So now I don't really have anyone and I don't know where to find anyone else to talk to that is why I joined the forum. Link to post Share on other sites
mvc Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 went through the same thing. was questioning myself why was i not sad or whatever anymore but its just a phase i spose. thesedays i go through all the emotions everyday, i find reading threads on this forum takes my mind off her (dont know how that works). so yeah it may just be a phase and like others have said it will hit you again, unfortunately Link to post Share on other sites
Calico Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 We're all crazy. Instead of questioning why we sometimes feel better (or nothing at all, which doesn't happen to me), because we believe we are supposed to feel miserable and rotten, we should really question why we feel bad over decisions someone else made -- because we totally deserve to be happy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 Mvc; Yeah I think it is normal, I asked a friend and she said it happened to her too. But it just feels like I am over her? But still in love with her? Does that even make sense? Calico; I agree! Why should I feel bad for feeling better after she lead me on for four months? Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 Anyone else been through this? Link to post Share on other sites
mvc Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Mvc; Yeah I think it is normal, I asked a friend and she said it happened to her too. But it just feels like I am over her? But still in love with her? Does that even make sense? yep thats exactly how i felt. id say its because it is yet to really sink in. Link to post Share on other sites
lookinxforxchange Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 everyone that is in love always drops there friends just to hang with there lover,, its messed up but i think a good relationship should be where each side gets along with each other and that her friends can hang out with your friends and so on..cause if someone holds you back or you hold yourself back from your friends they do see that and it just creates a mess so what im tryin to get at is never lose a friend over a relationship always stick close to people that mean the most you are going thru mixed emotions and if i guess you say your mom is the best one for you to talk to than talk to her just dont make yourself feel alone no one deserves that Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Mvc; How long did it take you for the sadness to come back? I am really starting to question it now because I have felt better and or no emotion for three days after only having five days of crying and being sad. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Minka333 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I always feel happy when that happens, when i dont feel any emotion, when i feel numb..coz' it's more tolerable compared to the painful/hellish feeling of a broken heart. Link to post Share on other sites
mvc Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Mvc; How long did it take you for the sadness to come back? I am really starting to question it now because I have felt better and or no emotion for three days after only having five days of crying and being sad. :/ went for about a week or so. but thats just me, there is a possibility that you will cope easier then i have. the thing that made me crack was when i took down all the photos and things from her i had around my room (28 photos!) perhaps if i left them id be where u are? but i felt that if i have to move on thats the first step to take. like everyone says, you have good days and bad days, sunday was a shocker for me but today i feel pretty good (still miss her like crazy but not to the stage i feel like **** all day) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Mika333; I guess it is easier to deal with but it just makes me feel bad. Mvc; Hmm yeah. The times where I feel a sadness is when I am not just sat doing nothing but when I am up and doing things, I feel like the inside of me is crying but no tears or anything come out but it feels like they need to. Link to post Share on other sites
Berna Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 What often happens to me is that I cry and cry and cry and then I get devastated from crying and I feel numb. I guess that is normal. Grieving over a relationship is a process and has its ups and downs, then again every one of us is different and our coping mechanisms are different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hannahlmh170 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Berna; Yeah that is true. I cried today because I felt like I needed to cry but the cry felt forced and since then I have been emotionless since and just wanted to sleep. I don't know if this is how I am meant to feel after a break up or what. Link to post Share on other sites
youngnlove89 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) I feel this way also. I feel nothing for him. I miss him and I know I love him but I haven't cried, I'm happy and I'm OKAY. I think it's because he didn't treat me very well. He didn't do anything for me. He didn't make me feel special. He didn't buy me things, not even for holidays or my birthday. He went on trips WITHOUT me. He only called once a day and only wanted to hangout on the weekends. I think I realized I'm better off without him. Maybe that's what you realized too. I know if he contacted me it would confuse me like it did before when we would break up and get back together...yada yada. But this time I told him this is it. Don't contact me until I contact you first. I can control myself, I can't control him. My feelings are my own. He is not entitled to them. I want to be happy. I don't want to mope. I am young and cute and I have wonderful things to offer men. I will find someone better. I know that. I think that is why I'm okay. That is why I don't feel sadness or depression. Because I choose NOT to feel that way. It's all in your mind. If you want to be happy then be. Edited September 20, 2012 by youngnlove89 Link to post Share on other sites
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