Jump to content

Relationship of 3 years with best friend turned girlfriend falls apart, where to go?


Recommended Posts

It was three years ago, I was at the end of my string. I had given up on most everything, love honesty, life, and god. I was attending the ceremony of a sweet sixteen and was spending most of my time in the lobby of the hotel. I was about to exit the building and go for a walk alone when she stopped me and would not me proceed. She told me, it's to cold outside you can't go out there. I objected being in a tuxedo and from there she walked with me for nearly 4 hours.

 

From that night on she became my closest friend. I believe it important to note at this time I had absolutely no feelings for her romantically. I didn't know what it was but this woman gave me hope. At the time I was doing drugs, drinking underaged, and dating around with no intent of loving anyone. But when I met her she made me want to be a better person. As I began to get closer to her I was able to quite smoking cold turkey and give up on drinking. I still dated around but I saw myself turning my life around. Talking to her also took away my depression that had plueged me for two and a half years. If something was bothering me I told her and it dissapeared. She didn't even need to respond, it just felt better.

 

After nearly six months of being best friends people began to ask if we were dating. I was confused and didn't see it at first, but after people pointed it out I began to notice that I was flirting with her. But her being a good hearted person so pure and kind I thought a man with my reputation would never gain her affection. I turned out to be wrong and after two months of what would be called courting, I asked her out.

 

We were happy, exept in the summer of 2011, when we had an awkward phase. But that passed and we spent the next year happy as could be. But at the beggining of this summer I left for the phillipines, to see family. We were happy while I was there, we skyped every day and told me she loved me. But when I got back and she was in California things started being weird. I was in Wisconsin when she returned home and we started to not argue but just not connect when we talked. When we finally got togrther we saw each other maybe once a week. It felt like there was tension and so brought it up. Only problem was that because we could see each other in person often I eventually had to bring it up on the phone. That was my big mistake. One it isn't ok to talk about problems on the phone two she hated talking about those things on the phone. But I felt like I had no choice, at this point we never saw each other. One night she invited me to her place and says she doesn't know if she loves me or not and says we had to take a week break. the night before she soar she loved me with all her heart. I was confused and scared but I said it was ok to take the break because I loved , I knew she needed it, and I rusted her better judgement. She promised we would work to make things right after the week.

 

After the week we barely even talked on the phone. She was always too busy and everytime we were going to see each other something got in the way, and they were legitimate. The times we actually saw each other I could see the love in her eyes and in her laugh and smile. I could feel it in her embrace. But 2 times in 2 months just wasnt enough i guess. I kept trying to make time that would work for her. And i knew it was the summer, I am bad at relationships in the summer. One day she told me to meet her in the park. I saw her by the bench and when I went to hug her she backed up and said I don't love you anymore I don't think we should be together. I didn't know what to do.

 

I was her first serious relationship, I was definately more expirienced. I had been dumped 15 or 16 times before at least. But it never felt this way. We never saw each other at all it felt like she didn't even give it a chance. I feel like it was me pestering her on the phone this last two months. We had good times we saw each other at large get togethers but only twice alone. Just over the phone we had problems and now its been almost a month 3 1/2 weeks since she left me. I have returned to the depression I knew before her. I see all the time and she sometimes talks to me and it is all ok but if I talk to her she shuts me out. I want to tell her how I feel but I don't want to ruin my chance of being friends. She promised we could still be friends and I don't know why but I still believe her with all my heart. Before her I gave up on trusting woman. She was my best friend and my girlfriend. I can't go to my bestfriend to explain my pain because she is gone. I don't know where to turn. She told me it wasn't me but I believe I drove her away, I feel like i put her through

Heck and back. I still love her she saved me from myself and even helped me find god. But now I'm withought her. Should I tell her, should I persue her, or let her live her life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...