mach3 Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Anyone ever experienced this - and I don't mean post break-up. I mean have you ever thought during a relationship, that you love a person more than they love you. Is this a recipe for disaster - and how does it happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 I love my spouse completely - with all of my heart. We have a great marriage and I wouldn't change anything, but I also know that my spouse loves me more than I love my spouse. We can both accept that and we are fine with it. I think my spouses capacity for love is just greater than mine. Link to post Share on other sites
End of my rope Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 I have experianced that very same thing...twice. I was married for two and a half years and my ex-husband loved me way more than I could have ever loved him. Ultimately it led to divorce. He just wasn't enough for me. ( I know that sounds awful.) However the tables were turned in a past relationship with an old boyfriend of mine. I was head over heels for him and he just didn't have the same level of feelings for me. We were compatible in nearly every way, but eventually we grew apart... I'm not saying that it always ends up with people seperating...it just always ends up that way for me... Link to post Share on other sites
Arieltke Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 I feel that in my marraige that is currently ending. I most definatley love my wife more than she loves. Me. I just spoke to her on the phone and she is speeding up this whole seperation divorce thing and i am just in awe. Throughout the whole relationship i am beggining to see that she might have been just a girl in love at 17. And now she is finally turning into a stupid woman. Sorry for the woman bashing. i have never done that. but she is turning into a stupid one. I guess 3 1/2 years with me did not help her out much. oh well. i guess its time to try to cope. signs that you love more you are always the last to hold on when its time to spit, your mate brings up "accounts first" who would drop what for who? and when? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 I don't believe in the quantification of Love. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 what does this mean: but she is turning into a stupid one. I guess 3 1/2 years with me did not help her out much. i think there is more to your story and your post. i'd like to hear it. why is she stupid? how should being with you have 'helped' her? Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 dyermaker It doesn’t need to be quantified for comparison. I think it can be relative. For example, I love a woman, and she doesn’t love me. Could I say I love her more than she loves me? Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Originally posted by mach3 Anyone ever experienced this - and I don't mean post break-up. I mean have you ever thought during a relationship, that you love a person more than they love you. Is this a recipe for disaster - and how does it happen? It happens because people believe that they are somehow clairvoyant. I wish I had such super powers as to be able to correctly assess another human being's emotions with not even the slightest margin of error. Due to the complexity of human behavior I do not think it is possible for another person to determine how much someone cares for another in such situations. To me it is just a rather lame excuse and completely invalid. It never matters anyway. Once someone has an idea such as “You love me more than I love you” it is impossible to convince them otherwise. This leads me to believe that they became uninterested and simply could not find a decent way to say so. One either cares or one does not. It is ridiculous to attempt to measure such feelings in these cases. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Originally posted by BlockHead dyermaker It doesn’t need to be quantified for comparison. I think it can be relative. For example, I love a woman, and she doesn’t love me. Could I say I love her more than she loves me? Pardon me, I was implying that some form of love existed on both sides, in which case a comparison would be qualitative (100% subjective) rather than quantitative. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 I think that in this day and age, where there is almost unprecedented emphasis on individualism, it is hard to find two people who love each other equally. It's probably always been this way, really. Errol seems to have found the best way to deal with it. Two partners just have to keep the lines of communication open and deal with it that way, with disclosure and integrity. Obviously, Errol loves his wife, just maybe not to the same extent. Then again, we men sometimes don't always know how much we love someone since we're used to suppressing our feelings. A tip of the hat to Errol. Link to post Share on other sites
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