gofigerr Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 i really need some support. i feel like im a little old for this but i feel like im going to loose my mind. im 35 with 3 kids, i have a boyfriend that just turned 28. hes been living with me for the past year and a half and everything between us has been great, he is absolutly the love of my life. but he doesnt have any kids and has had alot of trouble adjusting to mine. theyre older- 15, 13 and 10. theyre good kids but it seems like hes always looking for something to complain about. he has been smoking pot chroniclly since he was 18 and he has to take a drug test so he stopped smoking last week. all of the sudden the kids are overwhelming, he doesnt think he really wants to be in the situation, and he wants to move on. last week we were looking at houses, talking about going camping, riding bikes and loving our lives. i dont know if its just his nerves i know hes having terrible withdrawls because he hasnt been able to eat, hes a nervous anxious mess and totaly depressed. i feel like my life is going to end right now from a broken heart. does anyone have any feedback like mabey hell realize hes overreacting when his nerves calm down or is he gone for good. i really love this guy. and im not a desperate old woman, most people think im about 25 and cant beleive i have kids, im real tiny and young looking. not that it matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Love is very state specific. If he was smoking pot a lot when he fell for you and got into the current live-in situation and suddenly he gets off of it, the love undergoes major changes. Same goes for alcohol. Many relationships end when one partner or the other goes into recovery. As long as your guy is smoking pot, things will be business as usual. Take away the pot and his mind changes...he's a different person with different decision making capacities. Why would you want this kind of guy around your children? I don't think a step dad who smokes pot often is a very good role modle. Not that it's all that bad but having enough of it on you is a felony. It is an illegal substance. Furthermore, a 28 year old pothead cannot get into the role of father very well, which is what your kids need badly at this time. I guess the only solution for you is, if you really want this guy around, is to have him go find another job where he doesn't have to take a drug test and let him do his pot thing. Just how long would you want to endure something like that anyway and do you really want a relationship where your guy loving you is dependent on marijuana? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gofigerr Posted March 10, 2004 Author Share Posted March 10, 2004 youre right, he doesnt smoke around the kids at all but it keeps him hidden in the room all day. so many people have asked me what i see in him, low self esteem on my part i quess. people tell me im crazy because he really doesnt have anything on the ball, but when im with him i just feel really good. hes not taking his drug test until next tuesday so i have the feeling hell be gone before he starts smoking again. i should be glad but my eyes are so swollen from crying i cant see. anyway thank you so much for the reply Link to post Share on other sites
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