Grass is Greener?

[mjm11]

My ex of over 5 years out of the blue asked for a break. Come to find out a week later was pursuing another coworker. Once I found this out I broke up with him, but he would not admit to the coworker. All 3 of us work together. So after that I have been in no contact for 3 months. They are dating and living together but will not come out with their relationship. At work I ignore/avoid both of them. After three months of no contact my ex is noticing me again, he do double takes when i pass by him we have even begun speaking a little about work related stuff. Today I actually initiated a regular conversation. We are both 30. He has never had a gf before me so I am wondering if this is GIG? I still want him back! Should I keep no contact? How long does the honeymoon phase of new relationships last? Oh and by the way the girl he left me for is so trashy and not attractive at all.

[notsure252]

I'm kind of going through it now (except with my ex-gf and we are both early 20's) but I would say keep up NC. From everything I read, if you do, it usually takes around three months for them to realize that they do love you (if the relationship ended nicely and it was a nice relationship) and then around four to five months for them to REALLY realize what they missed out on.

 

If I were you, I'd keep NC and keep bettering yourself. I wouldn't put your heart out there until he says he wants to try again or hints at it. So if he is to hint at it I would literally tell him "I won't put my heart out there unless you do it first." Think of it this way, you keep up NC and he comes back great! OR you keep NC and he doesn't come back, but you are over him and with a better guy, great again!

 

Just remember both parties need to change and realize what caused the breakup to begin with. If you go back full force and don't take things slow, you will only repeat what happened and be broken again.

 

That's at least how I am handling my situation.

[Coyoteloco]

going through the same thing, only that im 21, and i dont know if she is already dating someone else, but i guess no because that would make her look like a slut, and she sure takes a lot of care of how she looks. Im doing no contact, and i cant tell you is the best way to deal with this, cause everytime we contact i feel awful and start crying, its been 3 weeks since our break up and 2 weeks of no contact. Our relationship was of 5 years, and it was a really nice one, but she started breaking things this years, to the point were i couldnt take it anymore. I hope that what this guys says its true, that in 3 months she will realise what she did and how inmature and stupid it was, but well if that doesnt happen ill find some1 better.

[notsure252]

going through the same thing, only that im 21, and i dont know if she is already dating someone else, but i guess no because that would make her look like a slut, and she sure takes a lot of care of how she looks. Im doing no contact, and i cant tell you is the best way to deal with this, cause everytime we contact i feel awful and start crying, its been 3 weeks since our break up and 2 weeks of no contact. Our relationship was of 5 years, and it was a really nice one, but she started breaking things this years, to the point were i couldnt take it anymore. I hope that what this guys says its true, that in 3 months she will realise what she did and how inmature and stupid it was, but well if that doesnt happen ill find some1 better.

 

 

Well the time frames aren't set in stone, but from what I've read, if you've had a good/normal relationship for more than two years the ex more-than-likely will at least get in contact to see what they are missing out on. If you became a better version of the person they fell in love with/dated then you are more irresistible.