lovehurts5 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 So I've been broken up with my ex for a little over 3 months now and its been a little over 2 months with NC. It's really bad because I find If I'm not at least talking to someone else then my brain is just thinking about my ex and how I want to contact him because I miss him (we were together 4 years) the thing is, I'm not attracted to anyone else and I haven't been with anyone else. Just a few dates where nothing has happened. Now there's this new guy that likes me way too much. We've just kissed and he's very nice to me but Im not ready to move on and hes moving wayyyyy too fast. Asked me to fly across the country with him, I turned him down, and he's been talking about future stuff and I kind of ignore it. ( I only met him 2 weeks ago!!!!!) I don't feel a connection with him at all but he seems so hooked I feel bad. Here's where the.selfishness kicks in... He's moving to the city 2 hours from me in just 2 weeks and by then ill be.starting grad classes again so ill be.occupied with that. Until then though I want to keep the distraction but I don't want anything more than that. Idk how I'm.going to break it to him. He doesn't understand i just got out of a 4 year relationship because.he doesn't want to know my past. I feel like the worst person. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobibble Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Do you have any intentions of getting back with your ex? Sometimes breaks and break ups make you realize how much you want to be with that person, and being with your ex for 4 years, there is no way you can move into a different and healthy relationship in 3 months. Let this new guy know that you had just gotten out of a long relationship and don't want to hurt him by staying with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 I would want to get back with my ex if given the choice but know itd be a bad choice because.he really broke my heart by kissing a girl in front of me just 3 weeks after being bu. I just don't know how to break it to this new guy. I want the distraction but at the same time I don't want to her his hopes up. There's just no spark there for me and it seems like there's fireworks going off for him. He's moving way too fast Link to post Share on other sites
Xestenz Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Please, please for this guy's sake, be honest with him. Otherwise, he will actually get attached to you, or worse allow himself to fall in love, and you will have never been actually available to him. His heart will be destroyed. I was just 'used' as a rebound by my ex, and it was incredibly painful. If I knew then what I know now I would never have exposed myself in this sort of situation. He is foolish for not wanting to know your past (or is kidding himself) IMO -- a mistake that I myself will never make again. This guy's attention and adulation might make you feel better for a bit and distract you, but that would be very selfish. You've stated quite clearly here that you don't have feelings for him (no 'spark'), nor are you likely at all ready for another relationship until you are over your ex. Share this with him!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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