lovehurts5 Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 So I'm nowhere near being ready to be in a relationship just 3 months out of a 4 yr relationship (honestly probably won't be ready for months and months). I'm just curious what everyone defines "talking" to someone vs "dating" someone and whether or not you think"dating" is the same as being in a relationship like bf/gf. There's this guy that's been trying to talk to me and likes me a lot but the feelings arnt mutual because I'm not ready to like someone new yet. He has said things like "well if we were to date...." But idk what that means in his eyes. Just curious to see what you all have to say Link to post Share on other sites
ihateslowjams Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) So I'm nowhere near being ready to be in a relationship just 3 months out of a 4 yr relationship (honestly probably won't be ready for months and months). I'm just curious what everyone defines "talking" to someone vs "dating" someone and whether or not you think"dating" is the same as being in a relationship like bf/gf. There's this guy that's been trying to talk to me and likes me a lot but the feelings arnt mutual because I'm not ready to like someone new yet. He has said things like "well if we were to date...." But idk what that means in his eyes. Just curious to see what you all have to say I say "talking" to someone is just that, talking. You guys probably call here and there and hang out in a group setting. I usually invite the girl I'm talking to out with my group of friends and include any of her friends she might want to bring along. Dating is more alone time with one another and progressively getting to know each other on an intimate level. I usually take my date out, just the two of us, somewhere nice and fun/entertaining if I am dating her. Edited August 7, 2012 by ihateslowjams Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 Would you say dating gives the official title of having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
ihateslowjams Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Would you say dating gives the official title of having a boyfriend or girlfriend? no, but it will eventually lead to a point where both people will recognize they want the boyfriend/girlfriend title. Sometimes, one of the two doesn't want to have the title and will remain in the dating phase. Its the responsibility of either party to figure out what their relationship is at the correct time. I dated a couple girls but it never went further than 5 dates. However, I dated my ex a full month and the topic of "what do you think we are?" came up from her end and that sparked the beginning of my demise... hahaha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Car10e Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 If the guy starts paying for you, I'd say your dating Link to post Share on other sites
ihateslowjams Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 If the guy starts paying for you, I'd say your dating Not necessarily... Ive paid for the other girls quite often and never even thought of them in that manner. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I think dating is casual. I'm out of an almost 3 year relationship... three months post breakup and I'd say I've been going out on dates with people. They ask me out to dinner, pick up the tab, act like gentleman, we hang out in groups, we do dinner alone... the difference between just going on casual dates and a relationship for me, is that I date multiple people at once. I have about 3-4 guys trying to date me. Not sure what their intentions are, as I don't plan on even having that conversation. I'm not looking for a serious boyfriend right now, I'm enjoying "circular dating" keeping my options open, being courted, and just having my poor bruised ego stroked. This doesn't mean I go and hook up with them, because I don't. I most certainly don't lead them on into thinking there's more to it than there is because I'll go days without reaching out to any of them. I'm sure if I meet someone that I click with on a deeper level, I'll start taking a look at dropping the other guys and focus on just that person, but I haven't met that person yet, so why limit options? I'm not trying to commit myself to anyone, especially not one person. I saw where that got me! Wasted so much of my life giving this one kid EVERYTHING when he wouldn't even put a ring on it. I treated him as a wife would treat a husband. Big no-no for me now. No one will ever get that much of me unless I know it's going to proceed towards something extremely serious, and that we're on the same page regarding engagement, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Car10e Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Not necessarily... Ive paid for the other girls quite often and never even thought of them in that manner. Really? Well everyones different I guess. I'm talking about when they start buying you everything, not just food, or to go out to a movie. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 So I'm nowhere near being ready to be in a relationship just 3 months out of a 4 yr relationship (honestly probably won't be ready for months and months). I'm just curious what everyone defines "talking" to someone vs "dating" someone and whether or not you think"dating" is the same as being in a relationship like bf/gf. There's this guy that's been trying to talk to me and likes me a lot but the feelings arnt mutual because I'm not ready to like someone new yet. He has said things like "well if we were to date...." But idk what that means in his eyes. Just curious to see what you all have to say In his eyes? I think that it means if your able to return the affections he has for you equally. Therefore, I think you should have THE TALK with him before things gets out of hand and he ends up hurt and resenting you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts5 Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 Yeah I def. don't want to hurt anyone. As bad as this sounds the only reason I'd talk to anyone right now is to have fun and as a distraction from thinking about my ex. I haven't hooked up with this new guy besides kissing and I don't intend to do much more than that. KatZee I feel that you and I are in a similar situation. I've "talked"/gone on dates with 2 guys since my relationship ended. I'd probably feel overwhelmed if it were with anymore than that at a time. I hate awkwardness and i'm hoping he's just trying to have fun too and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
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