It's been awhile LS.

[chris24]

I wasn't a big regular on the site, but when I went through a tough BU, I found this website. Here is my original post Here TL;DR - First long relationship and breakup (3.5 year relationship), she left a lot to interpretation, didn't end well.

 

It has been quite awhile since I've been on LS, mainly because I've just been trying to pick up the pieces in my life. When my ex broke things off, she wanted time to figure herself out, work on school, and then it became she didn't love me anymore, but she still insisted on summer being a chance to rekindle things. But, when summer came, we sat down and talked, long story short, she didn't want to try things anymore and she was talking to someone else. She said it wasn't that serious, but drove 3.5 hours to visit him. We exchanged the things we wanted to and that was that. This was May.

 

Since then, I ran into my ex at a party, it was super awkward as she was there with most of my friends, so I felt super uncomfortable about that. She approached me, tried talking a little bit but not much. The next day, she wanted to talk, I said sure - we hadn't talked since that day in May. She asked if we could be friends, work things out, etc.

 

Some part of me wanted to scream at her, but I remained calm, as I have throughout all of this. Funny thing is, she tried telling me if I don't want to be friends I should give her the respect to move on from it... How I wasn't giving her respect and being civil as possible, I don't know. We actually had a nice conversation after I put her on blast for all the bull**** she pulled and how she left everything so open to interpretation and then just pulled the rug right out from under my feet. She accepted it and apologized, recognizing her faults, as she pointed out some of mine.

 

At the time, I didn't have an answer for her, as far as what our future would consist of. But, today, I called her and said right now, I can't put my self through all of this again. I have to keep moving forward with my life, as do you. We both need to put this behind us and move on with our lives and I think it best if we just don't be friends for awhile - let things continue how they have.

 

She understood and that was that.

 

The good news: Since the BU, I have found happiness again. No it's not a new love / relationship, it's the realization that I am a better person after all of this. I was strong through a lot of this, when all I wanted to do was give in, and crumble - I didn't. I am now 30 lbs lighter, my self-esteem is much higher, and I have found new things in my life to keep me happy. Such as my blog, if you'd like to read it, I could post the link to it.

 

Anyways, just wanted to thank anyone who gave their insight and prospective at the time. It's been 5 months now and I'm starting to feel like myself again, actually, better than I used to. I know this life takes you on a journey, but don't think at any point, you should give up.

 

Chris.

[JesseMartin]

Inspirational! I'd love to check out your blog, you can pm me.

[chris24]

Thank you Jesse, I will shoot you a PM with the link!

 

Edit: Didn't know I had to become an established member before I could PM people. I'll just post the link here, it's not like I'm afraid of people reading it, considering I just do it for me and am by no means a writer in much of any sense.

 

http://chrisrayhons.wordpress.com/ - Enjoy

Edited August 3, 2012 by chris24

[Telaroca]

Hi chris!how long did it took you to accept and realize everything?did you havr any relapse as you were trying to move on?

[chris24]

Hi chris!how long did it took you to accept and realize everything?did you havr any relapse as you were trying to move on?

 

Well, for me she made it pretty easy to see what I needed to do. When she came over and told me she was talking to a new guy already, even if it wasn't as serious as she says, I knew there was no more waiting around. Side note: the story with this guy she mentioned, fell through and turned into nothing. She told me recently she felt now like he was more of a guy to fill that void than anything and regretted telling me about him when she did, because it was nothing.

 

I accepted everything a little after that, as tough as that all was to take in. You just have to stop kidding yourself at some point and realize what you need to do for you.

 

As far as relapse, I didn't. After our 'final' talk in May, I never contacted her once. She text me once to tell me about getting into the school of design, something I had pushed her to do, but other than that, there was no contact.

[Telaroca]

thanks chris! I wish I just know when to end it...it's just so hard to let go of a great relationship and person I really love..it would be much easier if he's a ****ed up guy..

[chris24]

thanks chris! I wish I just know when to end it...it's just so hard to let go of a great relationship and person I really love..it would be much easier if he's a ****ed up guy..

 

I know what you mean. I told myself time and time again, "she would never do anything bad to me, she would never hurt me, or lie to me." And then she did and proved me all wrong. When they get to a point you don't even see them as the same person they once were, just move on.

[Sav]

thanks for sharing chris! you gave me the idea of starting a blog myself to write everything down. Maybe it will make me realize something once i write them down

[chris24]

thanks for sharing chris! you gave me the idea of starting a blog myself to write everything down. Maybe it will make me realize something once i write them down

 

Good! I hope it will. I've found that writing things down, actually putting your feelings into words and expressing them is a great way to help you realize what you truly feel.