LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

To "Dirty" Rebound or Not: Pros and Cons


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree1Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th July 2012, 2:34 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 189
Question To "Dirty" Rebound or Not: Pros and Cons

This will actually be my first thread topic and after like about weeks of NC, it seems a loooooong time already. I think I may be ready to move on. I mean my ex obviously, already has waaaaaay ahead of me...Well, the break up sex was so-so (somewhat ceremonial)...she even did my laundry days before she left (how nice of her!) while I "learned" about her "dirty laundry" in the days after (actually, I already knew a lot of it already or "suspected" as much but as cheesy as it sounds...Love is blind and I just chose to forget/forgive and/or ignore it)...and the kicker is that I found out most of it from a close friend of hers (who uncannily looked liked her!), I still feigned OMG and WTF moments...and we did the down and dirty soon after (how nice of her too!) Well, not really, it was "forgettable"...but who cares right?!? If you can't beat them...well...you know the rest...clearly I am a "disturbed" individual

Anyways, whether its a "dirty" or "clean" rebound....does anyone here "recommend" it? If so...is there a "proper" way of uhmm...proceeding?
YorickBrown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 2:41 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 739
A total disrespect dude. Not good. Watch this as it says it all really.

The Vaccines - Post Break-Up Sex - YouTube
Zammo25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 2:52 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 130
Not a healthy way to get over someone in the least......... Friends and people in general will have more respect for you if you get over someone you loved the proper way.

I had the chance to go to a booty call on day 2 of NC, a lot of my guy friends told me I should go but honestly the way I feel right now, I can't even look at another girl that isn't her let alone sleep with one.

Do yourself a favor, if you're feeling good enough to be able to have sex with someone else, wait a little longer cause obviously you're on the way to getting over em the right way anyways. All you're gonna do is potentially hurt someone else.
Sheppy99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 2:54 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 739
The OP treated the person like a piece of trash. Not good imo.
Zammo25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 2:58 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 365
I'm not sure there is a rule here. I think some people do it to get over their ex and some aren't actually rebounds by the dumper as they have moved on fully. It has been shown that it can help people who are having a hard time letting their ex go too. I think it depends though, if you go out and have a one night stand and nobody gets hurt then fair enough.

Leading someone to believe you are ready for more though obviously isn't a nice way to go at all, I think you have to be honest with yourself. I am in no place for a relationship and i couldn't offer more to someone at the minute but given the chance of drunken sex with a beautiful women I'd probably go for it. I don't know how i would feel afterwards though.
k100danny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:07 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 189
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zammo25 View Post
A total disrespect dude. Not good. Watch this as it says it all really.

The Vaccines - Post Break-Up Sex - YouTube
Uhmmm...gee thanks Z...but, the catchy tunes/lyrics kinda lost the message for me...plus, people crying? Well...now that I think about it...hmmmm...everything seems hazy now

Maybe I started off the topic a bit wrongly...does rebound really mean post break-up sex anyway? Ok maybe in my case, but I kinda got suckered into it rather quickly (and unwillingly at first)...but Im sure there are some other tamer instances/processes.

Anyways, allow me to re-phrase it: If a rebound (whether with sex or not) was "offered" to you, or maybe it just "happened"...will you take it or not? and why?
YorickBrown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:11 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 739
If you have sex with someone else but you still have feelings for the ex it makes you feel like complete sh*t so I would say unless you are totally over the ex avoid it and the way you talked about the person was horrific be honest.
Zammo25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:38 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 189
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zammo25 View Post
If you have sex with someone else but you still have feelings for the ex it makes you feel like complete sh*t so I would say unless you are totally over the ex avoid it and the way you talked about the person was horrific be honest.
Ok wait. First off, I don't get why you found it so "horrific" the way I talked about the person (you meant, my ex right?) but you gotta remember she was the one who betrayed me...hello? Thats the horrific part, she was the one who caused all the dishonesty and discord. Second, do I still have feelings for the ex? Why of course, a lot of mixed feelings--at that time mostly anger, disappointment, resentment...rage... you name it! I dont think I can really get over it really. Lastly, I wasn't the one who went looking for "rebound girl", she suggested that we meet up (I just wanted to go bowling....and i dont even bowl)...and honestly, how was I suppose to know that I'd get pitysex from her that fast...and that I would be able to pass it up...c'mon!!!?? How can I pass it up to be honest
YorickBrown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:44 PM   #9
Established Member
 
RogerWallace111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 794
zammo, you're no fun


i can't fully understand your first post yorick... your ex dumped you, her close friend revealed some **** she'd been lying to you about, then you f*cked that friend ?

that's f*cked up of her friend, sounds like a triflin one. if you had learned some gnarly **** from her about your ex though, and she was lookin to get down, then it's quite understandable.
RogerWallace111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:50 PM   #10
Established Member
 
RogerWallace111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 794
either way the simple fact is, whether or not you're hurt and emotionally struggling, you can usually achieve a boner. and if someone wants to help you with it, why not let them. going out and whoring around (guy or girl) after a breakup to try and fill some void is not the healthiest choice. especially for girls because whether it's good or not, theyre the one's meant to be courted and be selective (just how nature is), and are thus more like to feel devalued from meaningless sex.
RogerWallace111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:55 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorickBrown View Post
Ok wait. First off, I don't get why you found it so "horrific" the way I talked about the person (you meant, my ex right?) but you gotta remember she was the one who betrayed me...hello? Thats the horrific part, she was the one who caused all the dishonesty and discord. Second, do I still have feelings for the ex? Why of course, a lot of mixed feelings--at that time mostly anger, disappointment, resentment...rage... you name it! I dont think I can really get over it really. Lastly, I wasn't the one who went looking for "rebound girl", she suggested that we meet up (I just wanted to go bowling....and i dont even bowl)...and honestly, how was I suppose to know that I'd get pitysex from her that fast...and that I would be able to pass it up...c'mon!!!?? How can I pass it up to be honest
Sorry. I thought you had hooked up with someone new. If it was the ex who treated tou badly, yeah fu*k her , literally. Well you did
Zammo25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th July 2012, 3:57 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 739
Was this with the ex or a new person ? I am confused.
Zammo25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th July 2012, 6:52 AM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 189
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogerWallace111 View Post
zammo, you're no fun

i can't fully understand your first post yorick... your ex dumped you, her close friend revealed some **** she'd been lying to you about, then you f*cked that friend ?

that's f*cked up of her friend, sounds like a triflin one. if you had learned some gnarly **** from her about your ex though, and she was lookin to get down, then it's quite understandable.
Sorry if I kinda confused you with the first one...what I meant to really say was
a)
I knew the break-up was inevitable with my ex, & because of all her lies which I was just ignoring at that time...I was actually expecting it to happen (hence, the break-up sex part, one for the road so to speak)
b) yes, I kinda immediately "hooked up" with her close friend, but only to get some kind of comfort and understanding why it happened, perhaps explain my side and if there was something I could have done to save the relationship - apparently none, it got worse because a lot more nasty stuff got revealed to me (getting pity sex from "rebound girl" was uhmmm..like you said, a triflin one)
c) I knew I should NOT have done it...well, actually, in retrospect, honestly, I could not resist...would you?
d) This is actually the point of the original post, should you avoid a rebound effect...or can you avoid one if it does present itself? How? If you can't, then at the very least, how do you not mess it up so much --meaning not feel so guilty about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zammo25 View Post
Sorry. I thought you had hooked up with someone new. If it was the ex who treated tou badly, yeah fu*k her , literally. Well you did
Yeah, lighten up Z! My ex and "rebound girl" pretty much look the same, and basically have the same attitude...you know...birds of the same feather...
YorickBrown is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Pros and Cons Peanut9330 Coping 1 28th July 2009 2:42 PM
Update on "possibly lost boyfriend over dirty secret :(" SweetBee82 Coping 1 15th December 2004 7:34 PM
"write a letter or not, pros and cons" Need Advice kodiak Breaks and Breaking Up 33 30th August 2004 8:33 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:02 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.