needing support

[zanzi]

I'm not looking for advice about trying to " get back" with him. Even if he wanted to do that I would say no, not unless he made up for his lies to me. Actually a lot, if not all of the breakup was my fault. I pretty much brought it to this stage myself and I take full responsibility for him breaking up with me. I was, at times, a big ******* to him. I cried and he didn't know how to stop it. I snapped at him for not giving me "attention"- I snapped at him for doing anything. He said he felt like he couldn't do anything right. at that time I told him I didn't think I loved him, broke up with him and didn't mean it, and he flipped that over on me and when I got home he was gone, he moved out, said he "wasn't sure" for about a week of taking a so called "break" and yesterday he dumped me for good.

 

Im really angry today about certain ways I was treated by him, (the so called break" in which he gave me hope, and told me he still loved me- two days ago in fact.)

and angry at myself for ways I treated him. The ghost of the dead relationship is taunting me and I am in as much pain as you guys, I feel your stories. I am hurting too.

 

I am resolute about going into N.C. I have begun from today onwards. I have to let him let himself forget me.

 

How do I get through the hurt, my stomach is very sore, it feels like all my anger and grief have gathered there and I have no appetite. No urge to eat. I have managed to eat bread. I am not "dwelling" intentionally, I am trying to move on, but since it was only yesterday I am still greiving the loss of a special relationship. It just broke apart and turned bad. I am aware there is no going back. I just want to move forward and get over it. I am suffering very much, I wake up a lot during the night and cry. The sadness and shock had turned to an intense anger that I am trying to maintain in order to not be sad- I feel the anger is more condusive to moving on then the grief and denial. But it is giving me killer stomach problems. Are there any people out there- counsellers maybe who can give me advice about the grieving progress??? Or we can sympathise with each other.

[Brokendude]

Im on the same boat as u, my gf broke up w me after 2 years... She wanted a break bc she had doubts, then she asked me to be her bf bc she said she cant live without me and couldnt see herself with anyone else, after an amzing week and a great date night she woke up next to me and said her doubts r back, without saying a word i got up and left and im done... This happened 2 das ago. I sympathize w u bcoz im so traumatized and shocked... I cry behind closed doors so much, i understand what ur going thru and ur not alone...its ok to grieve and u just have to let it all out, its the only way to feel better....i feel so weak but i try so hard to get my power and control back by running, working out, and doing anything productive, i dont kno u but i sympathize w u coz i truly kno how it feels to go thru this, u can confide in me coz helping others out is giving me some sort of inner peace, im rooting for u co i wouldnt wish wht were feeling on my worsy enemy, keep ur head up but its ok to talk it out

[zanzi]

Thanks brokendude.

We can do it! Because you are going through this pain, you are a strong person, moreso then you think. I think that, NC is good for everyone, but dragging out the pain is constant calling. You are right, its ok to be upset.

[Brokendude]

Yes we cant move forward unless we heal our soul, we have to let all the negatives out such as sadness, anger etc. And no one an ever tell u when to be ok, take this time to FEEL, its hard but they decided to leave us, so in a way we just hafta improve and learn, its gonna be so tough but i find this forum a safe haven and my rock, i dont have family to talk to so im goin thru this alone, hence im so sympathetic to people who reach out. Although i miss her so much and i feel my heart is so broken i kno theres some positive silver lining, And yes we can do it!!