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My EX'S Birthday


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So my ex's birthday is coming up and I am thinking about sending her a carefree text message just saying happy birthday and to have fun partying. Is this a good idea? She did send me a message earlier for my birthday wishing me well and what not made a little joke etc. She even messaged me a week ago asking how i was doing and she was texting me super enthusiastically as if we were the best of friends.....It got my hopes up that maybe something was going to happen.....my hopes were crushed.....should have seen that coming. So do you think its a good idea, just one text? This time if i do end up texting her Ill try to not get my hopes up at all.

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If you can honestly tell yourself that you can send a text without setting yourself back emotionally or over-analyzing the possibility of no response or any response for that matter, then go ahead and send it. But keep it short and simple, and word it so that you don't expect a response (nothing like what's up, how's it going, etc). If you think it will set you back, then don't send it. Remember, this time is about loving and respecting YOURSELF more than her.

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It got my hopes up that maybe something was going to happen.....my hopes were crushed

 

No! No no no!

 

Your hopes were crushed you said it yourself, that will not make her come back. She'll see right through you on that one.

 

Ignore her, maintain NC, if anything she'll wonder how come you're so happy without her that you forgot.

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it makes sense but don't you think it is absolutely terrible of me to act like i forgot it was her birthday? she was my first love....she remembered mine a couple months ago, she even texted me a week ago....so there is no denying it....we both know that i know its her birthday....shouldnt i send her a message even if it is a plain message? I just feel like I would be a dick if I didn't....

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If you can honestly tell yourself that you can send a text without setting yourself back emotionally or over-analyzing the possibility of no response or any response for that matter, then go ahead and send it. But keep it short and simple, and word it so that you don't expect a response (nothing like what's up, how's it going, etc). If you think it will set you back, then don't send it. Remember, this time is about loving and respecting YOURSELF more than her.

 

yea if anything I would just send the message like this: "happy birthday, have fun"

 

nothing much

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Well... If you're sure that she's moved on and there's no hope for you guys, then you already know where you're standing at.

 

Sending the message will only be polite. Of course, when you hear the cell phone's sound when receiving the "Thank you" message back, your heart will be racing. That should be avoidable, but if you're sure it won't do any harm to you, then by all means do it! ;)

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MoroccanSun

I Definitley agree- you should NOT send a happy birthday text.

She will probably be upset if you don't but your going to be more upset in the long run.

I was in a similar situation, my ex bf birthday was 3 days before mine and conveniently he broke up with me a week before our birthdays. So I never bothered wishing him well on his. He did the same to me. But then we spoke a few days after. If she is into you enough what ever choice you make won't be the end of your contact with one another, it may even make the flame burn brighter. But if the feelings aren't mutual I would suggest laying low- dont let her flirtatious behaviour confuse what you to really are now. Hope it helped- Goodluck!

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Dont send anything... it will be better for you in every way possible, she might even come back to you someday.

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Dont wish her man..i was also in a situation like this 2 weeks ago..its the best in every possible way.try to get through the day and dont send her anything.

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TheBetterPerson
So my ex's birthday is coming up and I am thinking about sending her a carefree text message just saying happy birthday and to have fun partying. Is this a good idea? She did send me a message earlier for my birthday wishing me well and what not made a little joke etc. She even messaged me a week ago asking how i was doing and she was texting me super enthusiastically as if we were the best of friends.....It got my hopes up that maybe something was going to happen.....my hopes were crushed.....should have seen that coming. So do you think its a good idea, just one text? This time if i do end up texting her Ill try to not get my hopes up at all.

 

Its my Ex's birthday today and i sent him a happy birthday message and that i hoped he was well and that the weather would be nice where he went!!! Really REALLY nice!

 

BIG MISTAKE

 

he was so nasty!!!

So i would honestly say if you do, make it short and sweet, dont get your hopes up at all!

If you dont get your hopes up then dont send it!

you will have to let go, start now!

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Mariana345
it makes sense but don't you think it is absolutely terrible of me to act like i forgot it was her birthday? she was my first love....she remembered mine a couple months ago, she even texted me a week ago....so there is no denying it....we both know that i know its her birthday....shouldnt i send her a message even if it is a plain message? I just feel like I would be a dick if I didn't....

 

I think that you can "forget" or not her birthday is no the issue... Is that you are not together anymore, and you hope she can come back (I asume that for your "hopes up") and if you keep texting her she may not be back to you... :(

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why do you think it is a bad idea though?

this is 10 months after the break-up my birthday was 5 months after the break-up and she did message me just to wish me well....

my immediate thought is that if I "forget" to text or message her on her birthday she is going to think I'm a dick and that I forgot about her birthday.....that isn't something ex boyfriends should do am i right?

 

so why do you think that its a bad idea to send her a text saying happy birthday and telling her to have fun?

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broken guy

Haha! You think YOU have a problem? My exes birthday is on the same DAY as mine! Wonder what that will be like in a couple of months?

 

Just so you know though, I won't be sending any birthday greetings that day. She dumped me so why should I say things like 'Hope you have a great day!'? Yes, I care for her but what good will that do? None, thats what!

 

You will end up doing what you do no matter what anyone says here but would you be bothered if she went mental if you didn't contact her that day? Just because she contacted you does that mean you have to as well? If that is the case you will have to send her a birthday gretting for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!

 

As everyone says, if you can send it and not be bothered if she says nothing back, then do it. If she says something back and you still won't be bothered, be it positive or negative, then send it. The key point here is 'WILL YOU BE BOTHERED IN ANY WAY?'. If the answer is even a tiny 'Yes', then do not send a thing my friend as the world of hope and pain awaits you and they always have delicious looking food there, thing is, it's all rotten inside!:sick:

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why do you think it is a bad idea though?

this is 10 months after the break-up my birthday was 5 months after the break-up and she did message me just to wish me well....

my immediate thought is that if I "forget" to text or message her on her birthday she is going to think I'm a dick and that I forgot about her birthday.....that isn't something ex boyfriends should do am i right?

 

so why do you think that its a bad idea to send her a text saying happy birthday and telling her to have fun?

 

 

Why would you want to send her a text? It's like sending christmas cards to every employee of the first job you ever had. Makes no damn sense. Look, break ups happen because a person decided that they wanted you out of their lives.

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Here's a little background information: me and my ex broke up because she felt I wasn't paying enough attention to her. She felt like I wasn't really that interested in her. We broke up about 10 months ago. We were in university together so I saw her regularly over the next little while. University finished in may and I haven't seen her since. From that point on there was no contact up until a week and a half ago where she texted me asking how I was and we texted as if we were friends catching up. Im wondering now of I should text her on her birthday I wish her well etc. the overwhelming majority says to not but I feel like that would be a mistake...but I'm young so I'm not that wise in these matters. My thought process is she broke up with me because she felt like I didn't really like her that much....texting her on her birthday would just show that I do care. But then again in my mind I still would like to give it another go with this girl so obviously I want to contact her to wish her well on her birthday...from that viewpoint why does everyone think it would be more beneficial to not wish her a happy birthday....seems counter-intuitive to me. I want her back so I'm going to ignore her?

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The fact that you're still on the fence about this and seem to waiting until you hear the answer that you WANT TO HEAR (as opposed to what you SHOULD hear) just shows me that you're still emotionally vulnerable at this point. Personally, it sounds like you're not ready to handle whatever consequences that may occur. If I had to guess, you seem like the type that would probably over-analyze any response or lack of response. I would say don't send anything but IF you do break down and send something (again, not recommended), PLEASE do not send her any additional messages after the first one. That just reeks of desperation - especially since you're the dumpee and she's the dumper.

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It sounds like you have your mind made up that you are going to send the text. You're just waiting for one of us to tell you to do so.

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any more opinions?

 

Don't .. do.. it... or come back crying here, and my friend, you will.

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well I'm just trying to figure out what is the point of not saying happy birthday....if i want to get her back. If someone can tell me why its advantageous to not say happy birthday i will by all means not do it....is it just because it makes me appear desperate?

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well I'm just trying to figure out what is the point of not saying happy birthday....if i want to get her back. If someone can tell me why its advantageous to not say happy birthday i will by all means not do it....is it just because it makes me appear desperate?

 

DING DING DING! Not only that, it will set you back emotionally because you'll be waiting by your phone for any response or overanalyzing whatever her response is. You'll only be mindf**ked in the end.

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i guess your right i probs shouldn't send a text to her. but i feel like i should want to go through whatever setback it may be so that she at least knows that i thought of her...its pathetic i know

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i guess your right i probs shouldn't send a text to her. but i feel like i should want to go through whatever setback it may be so that she at least knows that i thought of her...its pathetic i know

 

Go ahead, sent the text, and learn.

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I'd struggled with this same problem this past Sunday. :rolleyes: For me, the 2 most important holidays of the year are Christmas (a piece of lost childhood) and birthdays. For me, birthdays are basically a symbol of "hey, life sucks" and there are days when you wake up wondering why you're here. Birthday gifts/acknowledgements are someone's way of saying "Thanks for being alive and here in my life."

 

But then I remembered that for MY birthday he did nothing. No "Happy birthday", no gift, not even a card. And we were still together and NOT broken up. And I realize that I really shouldn't reward someone for negative behavior despite how hard it is for me to resist being the bigger/better person. I know this will just hurt me in the long run because he'll think it was okay to treat me like crap. *sigh* Silence really is golden I guess. Although, I did see that he tagged a message on a mutual friend's wall that said essentially "Thanks to all the awesome people who wished me a happy birthday! You guys are great friends and I am totally thrilled that you all blew up my phone with birthday wishes!" Whew, here I was thinking he'd be pathetic and alone in life and mean.... but apparently he has over 25 people saying "Happy Birthday"! One less can't hurt, right? ;)

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