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Today is the first day of my new life - without him...


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Back in August, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me and moved back home across the country (we moved away from our hometown together). In November I flew home for Thanksgiving and we saw each other. He told me that he was still in love with me and wanted to try to make things work. I told him that I will have to see him make a huge effort for our relationship.

 

Things hadn't changed much. We talked three or four times a week, but I didn't feel special and as happy as I once had with him. I wanted us to work so badly I couldn't see straight. I pretty much decided that I was going to move back home to be with him. I convinced my self that's what i wanted. He made tentative plans to come down here in March. We would talk about us at that point.

 

Valentine's rolls around and he didn't do anything for me and I had got him a card (not mushy). I was upset that he didn't take the time to send a card. I told him that it was pretty rude and he just didn't want to hear it. We didn't speak until last night.

 

Between Valentine's and last night, I had been thinking and I all of a sudden realized that we weren't going to work. I was okay with it. I needed to tell him.

This is the right thing to do. We would have made each miserable. I realized that things would never be the same as they once had.

 

He finally called last night and i told him how I felt. He agreed and said that he was calling to do the same. We told each other that we love each other but we're going in different directions and right now we're not meant to be together. Maybe some day our paths will cross again and it will be perfect. Until then we said goodnight and talk to you soon.

 

Today I feel relieved, empty and also terrified. I feel like I lost my best friend, but he said "that people never loose best friends". I'm relieved that I can finally move on and I'm terrified because I have no clue what I want to do. I finally feel closure after seven months.

 

I'm just glad that things ended amicably and that I'll remember the good times we had and that we will be in each other's lives again.

 

Just to let every one know that breaking up isn't the end of you're world, it helps you grow and discover so many things about yourself and it makes you so much stronger.

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You are right Flsgirl. There does come that day when you wake up and find you can make your own smiles again.

 

Lucky for you....you were able to get to that point slowly and even with help as far as weaning yourself away from having contact with him. I was lucky like that too.

 

I think it's harder when it's just thrown in someone's face and they don't have the chance to prepare their hearts.

 

It's wierd, but once you DO get to a place of being your own person again, you can almost look back and see the grey cloud that had been following you around. It IS lonely and a little scary....but now the whole world has opened up for you....and CONSIDER the possibilities!!!!

 

I'm proud of you. I hope everyone in here with broken hearts....gets to the place where you are now.

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