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boyfriend cheated , girl pregnant but ifeel guilty


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hi !

okay so my boyfriend and I have been involved for almost 5 years . We have a very strong and passionate relationship , what most would probably call " love/hate" . Its strange but I just feel so drawn to him and him to me . Throughout we have both cheated , but this last year i kinda had an "affair" (which I was never emotionally invested in and we only had sex around 5 times , it was more so out of boredom , yeah I know m a piece of work ) anyway , while I was having said affair , my boyfriend started having sex with a girl , AND now shes pregnant and refuses to have an abortion ( which I can understand , its her body , even though I think shes stupid cuz they'd NEVER be together )

 

I always told myself , if this ever happened , THAT would be my breaking point and I would be done BUT , being that I feel I drove him to cheat , I feel kind of responsible and just dont know if I can leave him to deal with this alone ..

 

Am I responsible ? Should I stay ?

 

SMH , what a tangled web we weave ....

 

Thanks for your Responses .

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Get help ... if it's not an open relationship you should really learn what relationships are about if you want to break this cycle.

 

Otherwise, please continue watching that self-destruction timer.

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PegNosePete

What a train wreck. You should break up permanently, go NC, learn what a relationship is really about, and both find someone you can be faithful to.

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ur not worthy to be in a relationship,not even slightest remorse being a cheater,cheating due to boredom doesnt change that u did cheat..Leave the relationship and dont get in a new one until u understand what it takes to make a real relationship.Harsh but true in ur case

 

TD

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ur not worthy to be in a relationship,not even slightest remorse being a cheater,cheating due to boredom doesnt change that u did cheat..Leave the relationship and dont get in a new one until u understand what it takes to make a real relationship.Harsh but true in ur case

 

TD

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jennisfora

you are responsible for your actions. if he cheated on you because you cheated on him, then yeah, you are partly responsible, although you arent responsible for her getting pregnant. that would be her and his fault, because they didnt use birth control, or did not use it effectively. either way, your relationship is broken. you have both betrayed trust. not sure what there is to salvage or where you could go from here.

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jennisfora

i say partly, because he chose to cheat in retaliation, he couldve been the bigger person and handled it another way, so no i dont think guilt helps you here, you cannot control another person's actions, and you aren't responsible. he could have gotten counseling, dumped you, or many other options than cheat. but, yes, your actions might have triggered it, i would feel bad for what you did, and no more.

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BewitchedandBothered

He is responsible for his pecker. He is also responsible for this child he helped create. And kudos to the girl for accepting responsibility and keeping the baby.

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ithink its sad that you feel a child that is aboout to be born 1) out of wedlock 2) made from lust not love 3) already has one parent who doesnt want it to be born , has a "responsible" mother .

 

shes not responsible , shes a slut , that knowling messed with a man who had a girlfriend. and shes trying to keep him ! thats bull !

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ithink its sad that you feel a child that is aboout to be born 1) out of wedlock 2) made from lust not love 3) already has one parent who doesnt want it to be born , has a "responsible" mother .

 

shes not responsible , shes a slut , that knowling messed with a man who had a girlfriend. and shes trying to keep him ! thats bull !

 

How do you play judge, jury, executioner and question the morals of another woman when you yourself fail to have values and morals that are needed to respect the sanctity of a relationship? You cheated on this man you so call "love" and you have the audacity to question her actions and her shortcomings? You call her a slut but what does it say about you who has an affair with a man, while in a relationship with another. Step back before you cast the first stone.

 

How come you haven't vilified this man that stuck his wee wee in some other woman, created a child and now shuns away from his responsibility? Why is he not held accountable for his despicable behavior? A great prize you have on your hands.

 

She can't keep him against his will. He fathered a child and now he's going to have to step up but sadly, this sad excuse is running the other way.

 

Whatever her reasons for keeping the child, it is none of your concern. "Responsibility" is far from what describes your actions, and let's be honest, this prize of a man is short in that department as well.

 

You should seek help to fix yourself first before you condemn others.

Edited by geegirl
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BewitchedandBothered
ithink its sad that you feel a child that is aboout to be born 1) out of wedlock 2) made from lust not love 3) already has one parent who doesnt want it to be born , has a "responsible" mother .

 

shes not responsible , shes a slut , that knowling messed with a man who had a girlfriend. and shes trying to keep him ! thats bull !

 

Maybe she isn't a 'slut' and had genuine feelings for him. Kids are born out of wedlock every day--and out of lust. Very pathetic---what kind of parent doesn't want their own baby to be born? And she sounds very responsible as she wants to keep this child. Sounds like she wants to give this parenting a go.

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Hi, I wont preach you anything, I think you had enough already.

My only suggestion to you is that there is a more dignified and better life out there for you.

Strive to be better, deal with the past and demand better from yourself.

All the best!

 

 

hi !

okay so my boyfriend and I have been involved for almost 5 years . We have a very strong and passionate relationship , what most would probably call " love/hate" . Its strange but I just feel so drawn to him and him to me . Throughout we have both cheated , but this last year i kinda had an "affair" (which I was never emotionally invested in and we only had sex around 5 times , it was more so out of boredom , yeah I know m a piece of work ) anyway , while I was having said affair , my boyfriend started having sex with a girl , AND now shes pregnant and refuses to have an abortion ( which I can understand , its her body , even though I think shes stupid cuz they'd NEVER be together )

 

I always told myself , if this ever happened , THAT would be my breaking point and I would be done BUT , being that I feel I drove him to cheat , I feel kind of responsible and just dont know if I can leave him to deal with this alone ..

 

Am I responsible ? Should I stay ?

 

SMH , what a tangled web we weave ....

 

Thanks for your Responses .

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i NEVER said my boyfriend WONT be a father to the child . all i said was he doesnt want to .

 

children shouldnt be brought into the world without at LEAST the possibility of having both parents in home and idont think im crazy for thinking so .

 

am i wrong for messing with someone else ? YES , however , he isnt involved with anyone and if he had been iwouldnt have done so .

 

even if shes not a slut ( which , she indeed IS ) she is a moron bc shes now bringing a child in the world who has only 1/2 the love they should have .

 

all you people who are happy shes having the kid , im glad you feel that way since because she doesnt have a high school diploma OR GED she will most likely be collecting welfare pretty soon =)

 

NOW THATS JUST GREAT .

 

and it will also be a super awesome moment , when the child finally finds out why his daddy is only there sometimes , because mommy and daddy never loved each other only ****ED a couple times during the WEE hours of the night when no one could see him with such a trollop , who is their mother . the only thing that will happen is the child will feel resent for her once they know the whole truth .

 

 

-- im not trying to villianize this girl , i do have a heart , i just cant wrap my mind around anyone who WANTS to bring an innocent human into such turmoil . its not going to get better only worse .

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Maybe she isn't a 'slut' and had genuine feelings for him. Kids are born out of wedlock every day--and out of lust. Very pathetic---what kind of parent doesn't want their own baby to be born? And she sounds very responsible as she wants to keep this child. Sounds like she wants to give this parenting a go.

 

 

 

if she was very responsible she would not have been dealing with someone who explictly told them , it was sex only . a responsible person wouldnt " fall in love " with someone who is promised to another . anyway she'll be on welfare soon , so we'll see how " responsible " shell look to you when youre paying for her and her bastard child to live off your dime =)

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How do you play judge, jury, executioner and question the morals of another woman when you yourself fail to have values and morals that are needed to respect the sanctity of a relationship? You cheated on this man you so call "love" and you have the audacity to question her actions and her shortcomings? You call her a slut but what does it say about you who has an affair with a man, while in a relationship with another. Step back before you cast the first stone.

 

How come you haven't vilified this man that stuck his wee wee in some other woman, created a child and now shuns away from his responsibility? Why is he not held accountable for his despicable behavior? A great prize you have on your hands.

 

She can't keep him against his will. He fathered a child and now he's going to have to step up but sadly, this sad excuse is running the other way.

 

Whatever her reasons for keeping the child, it is none of your concern. "Responsibility" is far from what describes your actions, and let's be honest, this prize of a man is short in that department as well.

 

You should seek help to fix yourself first before you condemn others.

 

 

 

 

aww you sound hurt , you cant bring your aborted baby back by posting sad messages to other whores online . SORRY .

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aww you sound hurt , you cant bring your aborted baby back by posting sad messages to other whores online . SORRY .

 

Aww...so sweet. Thanks for the kind words. What a doll! :love:

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