Eternal Sunshine Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 I am at just over 3 months since I moved out and broke up. I went 31 days NC (in this last try) before ex contacted me yesterday. He sent me a letter in the mail (he prefers to hand write, that's just how he is and has no special meaning). He didn't say all that much.. talked about his job situation, how he hopes that I am doing well, how he hopes that I don't hate him. He wants to at least stay civil and in some kind of contact if we can't be friends. I responded over e-mail with my news (job related mainly) and he responded briefly to that just wishing me a good weekend... I am doing OK. I wouldn't say that I am happy, but I am certainly better off now that I am out of that bad relationship. I mean, I used to cry every 2 days when we were together. We had major fights nearly every day towards the end. As hard as it is being single, I haven't cried in months. I am at peace. I feel like the intense year of living with him belongs to another life and that I am a very different person now. It was still a bit of shock to the system when among all the bills, I saw his hand writing.... Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Hmm I am just disgusted with how u said he treated you. Such people really make me wonder...... Good for you for even responding. I am not sure how he thinks you could possibly want to socially interact around him; the guy who said all those nasty things to you? I hope you wished him well, but will decline his lovely offer of a " friendship" I hope your doing ok:) Why, may I ask, do u hate being single? I love boyfriends, but I find the tendency to want one so badly, may make one overlook guys that your not totally crazy about and are equally as into you? Ya know, just to not be single? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Thanks guys. I don't really understand people that hold grudges years past the initial hurt. I can forgive anyone, but I won't forget and won't be close to them again. I am mostly sickened at myself, I should have really left a lot earlier but I was too scared of being alone. Well, being alone is really miles better than being in a bad relationship. A friend of mine once said that it's easy to move on 90% and that progress can be quickly made. But it's the last 10% that can sometimes haunt you for years. I hope that it's not the case for me. I still feel a bit numb, a bit dead inside, and have no desire to date. I have always hated dating - I would much prefer to fast forward to the part when I am in an actual relationship... Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 How long did your relationship last, a year? Link to post Share on other sites
robkris8079 Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 You guys saying you have to have some closure talk with the ex to be at peace with it all? Hmm . . I have no hostility, no hatred, no wishing harm or unhappiness upon her. Actually I hope she finds whatever it is she is looking for that wasn't me. I have no desire to have this conversation with her or reach out to her though. Maybe I'm not coming to terms with this or at peace with it? If I'm "faking it until I make it" I'm doing such a good job that I've convinced myself it's not an act. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 How long did your relationship last, a year? Yes, just over a year. It was extremely close and intense though and involved spending pretty much 24/7 with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Thanks guys. I don't really understand people that hold grudges years past the initial hurt. I can forgive anyone, but I won't forget and won't be close to them again. That's very commendable ES! I agree with the other that your actions take a lot of inner strength. Link to post Share on other sites
triphopper414 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 It is great that you made peace with your ex. I still refuse to talk to mine, not out of anger or resentment just because I feel like I am at peace with myself and at peace with being single which leads to bigger and better things. I think when you are 24/7 with someone it comes close to becoming a situation of co-dependency which is never an indicator of a healthy relationship. I am glad that you got out when you did. You can't blame yourself for not getting out earlier, all you can do is learn from it :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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