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She just stopped loving me..


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JohnShepard

Around 12 months ago me and this girl became good friends. I helped her split up from three different relationships because she wasn't happy. So for 6 months I was happy to help her, she seemed to enjoy my company. I kinda knew she liked me in a romantic way due to the signs, they were obvious! I liked her too.

 

So after 6 months Christmas came, I couldn't go to a house party because I had a family do instead. So I get home and get 3 missed calls of her, luckily enough just as I go to put my phone down she phones again, something was obviously up.

 

She was drunk, it was expected, so I just let her blab on about how naughty she was other sexual rubbish she chanted down the phone.Until in one split moment it all went silent and she just murmered "I Love You". To my amazement I just continued to let her talk, she was drunk she'd forget in the morning! But she didn't, she was being serious!

 

I tried to play it down abit, even though I liked her for the whole 6 months, it was too good to be true, and she was drunk! I said it takes time for you to love someone, alot of time. I said she felt lust for me.

Now from previous experiences, i'm no good with girls, I usually go all shy. So through all January she tried to get me to like her, even though I did, i just wanted to know after her also being crap in relationships, how far she'd go to get me to like her, what happens next may have been the crucial mistake!

 

I stopped talking to her for a week, before that I told her I liked her in high school and she was 5 years too late, for 5 years she was the girl of my dreams and I pushed her away, all because my friends didn't like her. Apparently she was a S**g and a Dog. February came and I told her I was sorry and there would be nothing more I'd want, so everything went well from then on. Now before I move on I think I made her depressed, she stopped talking to her friends like she used to, one night she phoned me up asking me to speak to her. She was upset. Now the only thing was I had family over who I hadn't seen in 6 years, and wouldn't see in 6 years again, so I told her to wait and I'll phone her that night, so she went out and met some lad who she 'apparently kissed' (which is probably a lie) and told him and not me, which really annoyed me as im still the only person to know all her secrets.

 

So after that it brought arguements, I judged her loyalty and comittment, we'd go a few days normal then argue again. Which was hard because I knew she loved me, the signs were there, I just wanted it on black and white. She'd only tell me she loved me is when she had the confidence through alcohol, any other time she was shy. That week where i didn't talk to her really must have torn her up inside.

 

So March came and we wasn't going to make anything work at the moment, we was gonna be officially together after our Uni did a prom type thing. She was my date obviously. But, we still argued, at one stage I loved her that much I began to get jelous of other lads and when she spoke about her ex's. I told her i wouldn't be jelous forever, just whilst i wasn't seeing her any time soon because of exams.

Eventually all the future talk of babies and moving in stopped, she told me she loved me as a friend and she 'didn't know why' or 'just can't' be together.

The night after I kissed her, she said it felt weird, and then she felt nothing, in which case brought more arguements.

 

Eventually i began to give up, i explained i couldn't be friends with someone I loved, I became aggressive and tried to push her away, but she said she could never hate me.

now its been 4 weeks since she decided to be friends and 2 weeks since we stopped talking, in which case is killing me.

 

She is now having a 'friends with benefits' thing going on with some guy who doesn't want a relationship, this guy has been around for some time now, and has walked her home a few times. When I tried to make her hate me I told her i had 3 rebound girls at the ready, which didn't help obviously. She said she was happy for me, and hoped that one of them i could be with.

 

Is there any salvation with this girl? I mean clearly ive messed up ALOT but i really miss her, hense why I'm writing this. I've never loved anyone before, and i've missed it out but i've told her i loved her. Any help would be appreciated!

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I am having a lot of difficulty understanding this post. I don't even understand if you and this girl were dating or not.

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So to summarize this (for everyone who might be having trouble):

 

-You became friends with her about a year ago

-You "helped" her break up with 3 guys because she "wasnt happy". This sounds a lot like "you manipulated her into breaking up with 3 guys she had issues with instead of resolving them". I dont know the details of any of those breakups, but you shouldnt be involved in the love life of someone you want to date in such a manner. It seems inappropriate.

-After chilling in the friendzone, she is drunk on the phone telling you how naughty she is. She then tells you she loves you.

-You get excited but say she is late? You told her you liked her 5 years ago but didn't like her anymore (even though you said you only had been friends for a year?). This part makes NO sense and yes you really did mess up if you told her that.

-She becomes depressed because you denied her. You were having a 'once every six year' meetup with some part of your family. She claims to have kissed some guy.

-You guys tried to work something out. She was flirting with other guys. You two fought a lot.

-Before it was made official and went to a dance together, she realized you two were just friends. She felt nothing when she kissed you.

-She now has a friend with benefits type thing with some other dude.

-You are confused.

 

 

Tell me if that sounds right.

 

 

 

Anyway, it is clear you were in the friend zone for a long time. You also had a crush for a long time. When she told you in a non-sober way that she cared, you overreacted due to the excitement. Now she is putting you back in the friend zone again. You probably won't ever get out this time. She realized she doesnt want to date you. Do yourself a favor and cut her out of your life. It will just be complicated, as you have an attachment to this girl that she doesnt share. She wants to be friends. You dont. Do NOT wait for something that isn't going to happen. You are just going to waste your time and hurt yourself further. Move on.

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