FearfulFuture Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Just a question asking if dumpers really mean what they say when giving reasons for a breakup? I only ask because my ex of 2 weeks stated reasons for leaving as 'not loving me anymore' and after a further 2 conversations (less emotional both times) she still stuck to the 'see you as a best friend' and 'i tried but cant love you'. Now i know most of you will say it doesn't matter what the reasons are, accept that it is over and don't bother about what has been said. Believe me i have accepted, i mean who after 3 different occasions hears those words and then expects not to accept it? As much as those words have really hurt me deep, i do believe them to be true as she is giving up a lot based on those reasons (we still live together but she is moving out in a few days) and the story has stayed the same. My only doubts come from a few different threads i have read on LS and other sources. People stating that similar things have been said upon breakup but only for the dumper to return months later saying it wasn't true and they still love the dumpee (obviously 9 times out of 10 being too late)! Now my breakup is very recent so my emotions are all over the place but i would love for one day for my ex to appear and take all those hurtful things back and hand me some dignity. Hearing those words have reduced me to a wreck, i feel she has pity for me and feels sorry for me, that is the last thing i want. I feel because she is in her early 20's she could possibly be suffering from G.I.G.S and if that is the case i would find that far more easy to swallow than her reason of not being in love anymore, i feel at this moment that perhaps i am unloveable and it really hasn't done me any good at all. I am hoping for some feedback from people who have had similar breakup lines but actually only used them as an excuse. Yes it has dented my ego/pride and yes it has made me feel 2 inches high. Sad i know but i am a man who is now embarrassed of a 4.5 year relationship and himself. Sorry for being so negative, just hurting and needed to hear the views of others, i guess i have my closure if anything Link to post Share on other sites
Wesker Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Everybody lies...... Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Well...here's my thoughts on why and how a girl breaks up with you and what they REALLY mean. 1. I think we should start seeing other people = I already have but you haven't caught me and I'm tired of hiding it. 2. I think we should take a break = I'm interested in someone else, and I don't want to cheat so I'll dump you and let you believe it was all your fault. 3. ILYBINILWY speech = there's someone else. 4. I'm confused and I need space = there's someone else and I don't want you around when I'm WITH someone else. 5. I need to focus on my career = There's this cute ass guy at my work and I want to go there. 6. I hope we can still be friends = There's someone else, but I want to string you along in case this other guy doesn't work out. Then, I have you as my back-up plan. Sorry, in a punchy mood tonight. I'm sure there's a list for guys. Girls, chime in with the guys list if you want! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I'd agree that most people try to soften the blow by being less than clear with their reasons. Most do this to lessen their own guilt and because they truly don't want to hurt you. Most dumpers are not bad people, just people who are unhappy with the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FearfulFuture Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Thanks for the input guys. It is just so confusing how you can be with someone for so long, make wonderful memories together, live your life as one and then in a split second it is destroyed. Makes no sense to me how someone can just forget all that and happily move on without looking back, i guess that is the reason i am the dumpee! I thought love was something you always felt through good times and bad? Does anybody think its possible to fall back in love with someone after falling out of love first? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Thanks for the input guys. It is just so confusing how you can be with someone for so long, make wonderful memories together, live your life as one and then in a split second it is destroyed. Makes no sense to me how someone can just forget all that and happily move on without looking back, i guess that is the reason i am the dumpee! I thought love was something you always felt through good times and bad? Does anybody think its possible to fall back in love with someone after falling out of love first? I don't think you can write things off like this. It would take a narcissistic person to feel no pain or remorse. Some are just better at hiding and internalizing it than others. Yes you can fall back in love with someone, but the relationship can't work unless both parties have taken the time to examine everything and correct the issues on their part that cause the past relationship to fail. Link to post Share on other sites
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