lattimershotgun Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 K as many of you know i am on a break with my girl well she finally called and talked receintly on IM for the first time in a couple weeks. she said she misses me and she seemed happier, i knwo she has alot fo **** she is going through and that is part fo the reason for the break. TO be honest though... i wasnt so happy wiht us taking a little break, i had a hard time giving her space at first and we aruged alot and i am sure i was very annoying. I think i pushed ehr away more, so now she calls me and acts happy and almost normal. I jstu said i was sorry for being such a dick for hte past month and she said "yaa you were" and i said for her to forgive me i felt so bad. which is true i have felt horribl3 about it and that is why i havent bugged her for a coupel weeks and let her come to me. well now she is here and she caleld first so i dont konw what to do next. I geuss wait for her to suggest us getting back together but i feel that maybe i might have permently damged it during our break when i was so pushy adn resilient to giving her space. I metn well but i wodl always call to see waht was wrong and **** i and tell her i was there for her i feel liek i might have drove her awy more. SO that is why i am woried i drove her away, well the thing is.. she is my first real girlfreidn and yes i am 22 years old. But My preivous thing was a fling that lasted a month at best and they never really cared for me they treated me like **** and we woudl argue, then get back together after a little bit then argue they never wanted to be commited they never put any effort in coming to see me. a total of 7 months that went on off adn on but liek one good month that was it. Well now this girl lasted 3 great months adn then when she had personal probelms (health adn such) I got over clingy i think.. she wantd to be alone but i kept pushing in tryhing to help and i think i was clingy. I got so used to her calling often adn getting all lovey dovey wiht me i dint know how to act when she said she needed space... it hurt me badly. Well i was all confussed at first and made the situaotin worse by auging and she was alreayd in a bad mood so we jsut didnt get along for a month on and off. Well now she seems happier and there has been no mentoin of if we are gogin to get back together liek she originally plannned. See here is waht i want to do, I dont htink she realizes that she is my first relationship.. see to be honest people I had no clue on how to act this was my first realtoinship, i was basically a 16 year old learnign everythign fast. me adn her had sex i had only had sex once before with a girl that i wasnt inlove with, so i basically lost it to this girl becaus it ment somethign to this girl.. I got over attached adn ddint know how to respond to certain situations, she is level headed and i htink if i explain this to her she might undrestand that i am sincerly sorry adn will promise not to do that anymore, i do see the error of my ways. The past weeks i looked back i got so mad at myself i see where i messed up and i got so overly happy, i was amazed taht such a perfect girl that is so mautre and great gave me the time of day considering it uusally never wokrs out with the girls i care for. THis girl means alot and i kinda want ot explain how i feel and why i actred like i did. I mean it was my first time doing alot of stuff and I really fooocked it up and want to make it right. I jstu want to let her know that i see waht i did wrong and let her know why.. i hope that will help the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 ? Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 It's a process of trial and error. The good news is that you've now got some experience dating, and maybe you'll be a little bit more knowledgeable of what to do and what not to do next time. Use each experience to build on for the next one. I'm convinced that dating itself is an evolutionary process, and that the people in the healthiest relationships are usually the ones who have dated several different people and waited until they've reached maturity (usually late 20s early 30s) before settling on one partner. Take your time before falling in love with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 ? well if i said that do u think it would help her understand my actoins a little bit more. i know i cant change someones mind but i mean it might help her relize it wasnt her fault and it was jsut me without knowing alot of stuff. because i am not even sure if she wants to end it for good or not she never mentoined it. there is still a chance, things will workout. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Nothing you say or do can make her want to take you back. She has to want that for herself, and she has to discover that on her own. Trust me, the more you "try", the more she'll push you away. Just let her go. As a general rule, I might give a girl a little leeway time to change her mind if I was the one who got dumped, but exactly how much time would mainly depend on how strongly attached I was to the girl, and how long we dated. If you've been dating for several years, one could reasonably expect a cooling off period up to a couple of weeks. In your case, though, you've been dating for only three months. It may seem like you've invested a lot in this relationship, and maybe YOU have...but together, three months isn't a lot of time to be dating. I'd give her a few days max, and it sounds like a few days have come and gone. So that's why I say, just forget about it and move on. You don't want to be the pathetic guy who can't go on with his life because he's hopelessly waiting around for one woman, nor do you want to be the guy who gets heartbroken because you get back together with a girl who can't make up her mind. It's best just to move on. Sorry. I know that's not what you wanted to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 no one else thinks that I should just explain my actoins of the past and explain to her i will change and that i know actoins mean more then words.. and actually change...? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Well, I spent 20 minutes editing, and now I think I understand your post somewhat. Here it is. I am on a break with my girl (B). Well, she finally called and talked recently on IM for the first time in a couple weeks. She said she misses me and she seemed happier. I know she has a lot of **** she is going through and that is part of the reason for the break. I wasn’t so happy with us taking a little break, I had a hard time giving her space at first and we argued a lot and I am sure I was very annoying. I think I pushed her away more, so now she calls me and acts happy and almost normal. I just said I was sorry for being such a dick for the past month and she said "yeah you were". I said for her to forgive me I felt so bad -- which is true, I have felt horrible about it, and that is why I haven’t bugged her for a couple weeks and let her come to me. Well now she is here and she called first so I don’t know what to do next. I guess wait for her to suggest us getting back together but I feel that maybe I might have permanently damaged it during our break when I was so pushy and resistant to giving her space. I am worried I drove her away,... she is my first real girlfriend and I am 22 years old. My previous relationship (A) was a fling that lasted a month at best and the girl never really cared for me -- she treated me like **** and we would argue, then get back together after a little bit, then argue. She never wanted to be committed and never put any effort in coming to see me. We had a total of 7 months that went off and on, with only one good month. Well now this girl (B) lasted 3 great months and then when she had personal problems (health and such), I got over clingy I think... she wanted to be alone but I kept pushing in, trying to help. I got so used to her calling often and getting all lovey dovey with me I didn’t know how to act when she said she needed space... it hurt me badly. I was all confused at first and made the situation worse by arguing and she was already in a bad mood so we just didn’t get along for a month on and off. Now she seems happier and there has been no mention of our getting back together like she originally planned. See, here is what I want to do, I don’t think she realizes that she is my first relationship... see to be honest people I had no clue on how to act. This was my first relationship, I was like a 16 year old learning everything fast, even though I am 22. B and I had sex. I had only had sex once before with a girl that I wasn’t in love with (A), so I basically lost it to this girl (B) because it meant something to this girl… I got over attached and didn’t know how to respond to certain situations. B is level headed, and I think if I explain this to her she might understand that I am sincerely sorry and will promise not to do that anymore. I do see the error of my ways. The past weeks I got so mad at myself, I see where I messed up and I got so overly happy, I was amazed that such a perfect girl that is so mature and great gave me the time of day considering it usually never works out with the girls I care for. This girl means a lot and I kind of want to explain how I feel and why I acted like I did. I mean it was my first time doing a lot of stuff and I really f*cked it up and want to make it right. I just want to let her know that I see what I did wrong and let her know why. I hope that will help the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 15, 2004 Author Share Posted January 15, 2004 that is my post correct Link to post Share on other sites
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