dario Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 My ex broke into my email account. Thing is...there was some very personal stuff in there. I know it's her (don't ask how). There was even a recent email from an ex of long ago with just the usual light-hearted 'how you doing...I've been to such and such with my new bf....' (no plans of reconcilliation...truly, I'm just trying to be light hearted with this ex ex). Now current ex has seen all my ramblings to myself....just notes I send myself. Some very deep and personal. One...even, gulp...thought on suicide. What do I do? Sorry to ask again for help. Link to post Share on other sites
xalysabethh Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 i had ythe same thing happen 2 me, me and my husband have been seperated and at the time i was just friends w/ this guy but still i had a bunch of emails to him plus a lot of emails to my "girl" friends about my husband and the situation and there responses and alot of other real personal stuff.. he actually broke into my house read them then fwd them to himself... ughhhh no advice just that ive been there Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 You have every right to be very angry as well as violated even if it is email, if in fact she did do this..... not that she would admit to it....... the only thing you can do is change your passwords...... and be very discreet with it. I would not even approach her on it because no doubt she will deny it all and twist it around and possibly even use what she read in your emails against you. Trust me, people who invade your privacy like this, are that low and have no morals whatsoever. I wouldnt even give her the time of day!!! Be thankful you may have caught this in time. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 amen to above! o, this makes me so mad. if you want to drive the point home, write a journal entry ostensibly to yourself where you talk about how soulless, loserly, and pathetic it is to try and break into other people's privacy; and how much you hope those who do this will someday get another hobby, maybe read a book instead, or just get a friggin' life. maybe link to your post on this. ok. done venting. or, more rationally, just talk to her frankly without accusing her. just explain randomly how important privacy is to you, is, in fact, to many adults, and that a relationship does not give automatic permission to ignore boundaries. maturity means understanding that you are different people with different lives even if you are a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 never use your exes first name as your password, i used to break into fellow employees accounts all the time using this method, it was either their girlfriend or their wifes name! if it was a girl who owned and loved a dog it was her dog's name... well sometimes anyway, i wasn't interested in peoples privacy, it was just to test a theory! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Originally posted by BrainRightHeartWrong well sometimes anyway, i wasn't interested in peoples privacy, it was just to test a theory! It's quite illegal, despite your innocent scientific motives. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 >>>well sometimes anyway, i wasn't interested in peoples privacy, it was just to test a theory!<<< What you did was not harmless. It was a violation of their personal space, and it's also illegal - very illegal. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 i know but so is growing magic mushrooms and that never stopped me either! you don't seem like the policeman type either i would say dyermaker! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Naw, I'm not. I'm just very sensitive to computer crimes, and how people often think that because the chances of them getting caught are less, that somehow they aren't breaking the law, or that it is okay to do. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 if it helps, i never read any of their emails, i was a software engineer working with a hacker type guy ( who trusted me ) who showed me transcripts of senior management talking with 13 year olds on MSN , one particular fellow was just about to get married but was arranging a 'meeting' with a minor.... i would never violate a person's privacy who i respected, exes or otherwise, i swear!!!! so forgive me! Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Hmmmm dont mean to rain on your parade dario..... however i have a question from anyone who is willing to answer..... call me naive or better yet ignorant..... but what if that email account was Yahoo or Hotmail.... is it still illegal? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 You're forgiven, go forth, and sin no more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dario Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 Who cares if it is illegal? It's unethical! It's wrong! sorry to rant. It's just sent me into a spin...she must think me a total fruitcake now after reading all my messages to myself...my personal poetry of the year...my dreams...my inner thoughts. I'm lost. I was all letting go and now this.... Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 sorry dario... but how did she know your password? dear god! anybody should really know, sorry but use your head next time! or did you give your password to her as you 'trusted her so much!' or is it the fact that she read your personal email an indication of the person she really is? if so then better off without her matey! trust us loveshackers! Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Who cares if it is illegal? It's unethical! It's wrong! Oh sorry Dario I guess I should have explained why I asked. I had the same thing done to me only it was from an "ex boyfriends new girlfriend" (god i hope i didnt confuse) I question if it were illegal because my email account was indeed Yahoo. Not only did she read my emails as well as erase them but she also sent my cousin an email with referrencing to my address and phone number of where I was living at, at the time. In the letter she also made reference to sending a wedding invitation and a hint of adding anthrax in it. Just curious. I guess all things aside its in the past for me. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dario Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 True...I'm ranting. My password was actually my exe's name....the question was something simple....like, Who to avoid in the future.... I know i was dumb. Didn't take a genius to work it out. Just one who knew. I'll get by. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 "ex boyfriends new girlfriend" (god i hope i didnt confuse) I question if it were illegal because my email account was indeed Yahoo. Not only did she read my emails as well as erase them but she also sent my cousin an email with referrencing to my address and phone number of where I was living at" my gosh she was clever, at least you now know you were the at least a much smarter person and that you deserve a human being of higher intelligence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! funny Link to post Share on other sites
Author dario Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 Should I just leave it be...or bring it up...or is this just a toss of the coin? It's a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 bring it up in the abstract. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Why bring it up in the abstract? Why pussyfoot around this? First of all, she's an ex so it's not as though there's a relationship to preserve (though who would want to) and, secondly, this was an egregious transgression and, technically, against the law. Tell her off in no uncertain terms. Then tear a strip off her (not literally!) for having done such a rotten thing. What if she'd stolen your diary? Taken your snail mail? Taken your car, for pete's sakes! But change your password first and make sure she can't send you a virus. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I agree with Moimeme, she's done something wrong, and it needs to be addressed--in the concrete. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 hmm; agreed if he has concrete proof. he says he knows, but that's not really enough for the 'j'accuse' moment. (too many legal forms this week ) to me, snooping is a bathetic crime, like plagiarizing. i would not confront unless i had the papers primed for cutting jugular meat. [color=white][font=arial]p.s. i think i might be more in love with due process than jamie oliver and jon stewart combined- i'd love to see it sprawled out in nothing but a blindfold in british cosmo...mmm...fallible but workable...[/font][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 You could always send a friend an email telling them all about it....and she'll read it next time she hacks your account. HAHAHA! .........i would never ever consider hacking an email account of an ex.....EVIL LAUGH..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dario Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 I don't have it in me to be malicious even when I'm in the right. I had accused her of something before that she was responsible for and I knew she did it...but I just backed out. So, I'm just going to let it be. It proves to me that perhaps I'm weak and should confront the issue and that she wasn't right for me anyway. In my head I just don't want to hurt her. Just that, as mentioned at the beginning of this post, there was a message from an ex ex....and, taken out of context, she might have thought that I was back on with her. Make sense? I just don't like the idea of thinking that I was fooling around with an old girlfriend when I was with her...as I certainly wasn't. It was just a friendly email saying hi...and, with time past and some wounds healed from the relationship, I said hi back and it was just light hearted chat as two adults. I think too much for my own good and I really don't have the vigour within me to attack even if I'm in the wrong sometimes. I think I need help....for myself from somewhere. Again, the Loveshack people have offered some fantastic assistance for me...a young neurotic man who has, gulp, decided that being single is probably the best way to go. Thanks again to dyermaker and arrabess especially.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dario Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 oh...and to moimome and jenny! Link to post Share on other sites
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