Jump to content

Just tell me what you guys think...it's an update


Recommended Posts

Hey LS,

 

Just letting everyone know that things are getting better over here. It's been 3 months almost since the breakup and my ex and I do talk more now....it's still never very long at a time, she usually is busy with homework, but she goes to a rigorous school so I understand. Her family wants to be involved in my life despite her actions, which I have absolutely no problem with. They still appreciate it when I stop by and visit, and being a track athlete, they want to attend a few meets that I will be at. And they have been really friendly with me lately.

 

I do have a question though - I know it may not mean a thing, but maybe it does. But having the family still wanting to be involved in my life, do you think that will have any influence on my ex? We influenced each other in so many ways, and we were both very big parts of each other's lives. And still are in a way. Her and her mom have had a lot of disagreements, especially I think with the new guy, but they (her and her mom) are very close. She wouldn't let her drive seven hours to see him, but I know in a heartbeat she would let her see me if she so desired. (I am 3 hours away.) As far as I know, she is still dating the guy, but has not mentioned him to me for a while....I would say a good month or so. So who knows. No biggie if she still is.

 

What we had was amazing, and it wasn't based on sex. We were both so in love with each other. I'm not saying that she will never find anyone else, but I think it will be hard for her to find something else that is close to what we had. I would more than anything love to just sit down and talk about not necessarily the breakup, maybe not even us, just about whatever, to get her to open up to me and maybe unlock some new feelings. I

 

She made a huge mistake - no doubt about it, by breaking if off w/me. She let go of something very good. But looking back I do understand more. Now I am wondering that she is regretting it ever so slightly.

 

But the whole family thing, I still think that may mean something, but I am not getting my hopes up too much yet. I don't think it's a bad thing at all that they want to be involved in my life still, I mean, I think it's pretty cool that they still care about me. And they know I still care about her (my ex). I'm not pressuring them to do anything, it's all their choice. I'm just seeing what you guys think.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

tbbearcat5

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would have to wonder if her family is pushing her to be with you which in turn is pushing you away? Just a gut feeling.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Did she listen to her parents when she was dating you? They have no more influence over her now than they did when you two were together.

 

It doesn't matter if you don't understand her reasons for the breakup. You might think that you were the best thing to happen to her, but if she doesn't think so then in doesn't matter.

 

Its nice that her family is still supportive of you -- but why not move on yourself? You won't be able to really find a new romance or embrace YOUR life totally while you are still clinging to these strings from a past relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Hello Roberto and Errol,

 

Roberto, I don't feel that her family pushing her to be with me is pushing me away. I still love this girl, and would take her back in a heartbeat, but not without sitting down and talking about it first. I just think that her family caring about me and still wanting involvement in my life is nice to have.

 

Errol, I do understand about moving on with my life, and dating other people, as I am taking steps to do so, and I am making progress. But when you're in love with someone like I was with her and vice versa, the feelings just don't go away. But the thing is, knowing her past, I WAS the best thing to happen to her, and she said that to me. But, it's not fair to you that you don't know the whole story. I mean, I gave her a promise ring about five months ago, and after all this time, she still has it, and hasn't told me ANYTHING about wanting to give it back. Shouldn't that mean something???

 

You have a very good point. Don't get me wrong. But what's so wrong with fighting for something you believe in? I believe what we had is worth it. She has never said "this will never work out between us." or that "I will never come back to you." She just needed time to find out if there was anything else out there, and I understand now. I am trying to do the same, and it's just not working. As I said, more than anything, I want to just sit down with her, and just talk about whatever. Get her to open up to me, so to speak.

 

She just needed to see what else was out there, and I look back now and I understand. But shouldn't her friends and family still wanting to be involved with me mean something too??

 

I know it sounds like I bashed you pretty good but I don't mean any offense. I appreciate the opinions but there are times I just miss her.

 

tbbearcat5

Link to post
Share on other sites

Heya,

 

I'm not too good at advice...but I try.

 

You have a grand convenience in still being attached to her family in this way. And it might feel good for you...but what you have to ask yourself in this sort of situation is what about her? I mean, afterall, it is her family. Maybe it's more of a hindrance in you being so close to her family. I really think that you have to detatch yourself from HER family in order to give her the space....because it is an infringement of sorts as your intentions are to still get back with her. This probably doesn't make sense. Just try and think on the flipside of things....she's moving on....or trying to...and her ex still has close contact with her family. I'd remove myself for a while.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Your attachment with her family is making it more difficult for both you. Also, she might be the rebellious type that wants to reject everything that her family advices her to do. So when they talk about you and how good you are for her, the more it shunns her away... I dont know, just a thought.

 

Furthermore, I understand that your love for her is so strong that it is hard to let go. Having her family around is a good way to get information about her. BUt isnt it better to break the connection so that you can really move on? If she really wants to be with you, she has your info and she knows how to use it. But dont hold your breath... she seems to have moved on already... Now it is your turn... (sorry if i am sound mean...)

 

~darling

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...