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ugly break up with ex of 7 years 3 nights ago, going to see her tonight, totally lost


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Brief history: I have been with this girl for over 7 years, we moved away from home together for 3 of these years, and have now moved back to our home state to go to college. We both attend separate colleges in separate towns about 40 minutes from each other. It's been rough because our workloads are different and I think I have more, so I don't get to see her often as she wanted and she has gotten lonelier and lonelier. Now she is going out and in the past month has been "hanging out" with new guys.

 

So this past saturday my now ex gf and I went to a halloween party together with some of my friends. We had a lot of fun and she was, when it came to the girls, definitely the life of the party. We were having fun on the ride home and singing and being goofy and everything seemed to be ok.

 

Then we get back to her place and she starts freaking out on me and telling me that she wants me to leave. We have been arguing about a lot of different things for the past month or two. I really really love her and did not want to leave at 3 am and drive home drunk, but she keeps insisting I do. When I don't leave, she calls this guy she had been seeing for not even a week to come and get her. He does and she leaves me there alone and I have not seen her since.

 

Tonight, I have to go out there to get some of my stuff back (clothes, etc) and I don't know what to do. I have taken her for granted in the past, and we have made many mistakes, but lord knows I love her soo so bad and she says that she will always love me and wants to stay friends. But, she is already seeing someone else, which makes it so much harder because I feel completely rejected. The guy she is seeing right now is everything she doesn't want in a guy, and I know this because I have been with her for so long and she has told me what types of people she doesn't care for, BUT he fits a lot of those dislikes.

 

She says she still wants to be friends, and I do too but I don't know if I can because what she did to me was totally messed up and hurts so bad I can barely function normally. What should I do tonight? We have gone on breaks before but this time it seems to be for real, but we are so close and know everything about each other that I can't see myself just writing her off. Has she written me off?

 

Sorry if that was too long, but I have no one else to talk to about this right now and I could really really use some outsiders perspective before heading out there tonight.. Thanks

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