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Too much pressure?


perfectlyflawed459

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perfectlyflawed459

I was thinking about the last night I talked to my ex and I told him goodbye...And a certain part just replayed in my head for awhile. I told him I loved him and that he meant the world to me, and he stood there silently and then told me that was too much pressure for him and that he still believed I would meet someone in college. Too much pressure as in he can't handle the weight of how much I care for him and can't take that responsiblity and such. I just wanted to ask for opinions on this? Because this is the first time I actually paid attention to this part of it all.

 

Keep in mind, I am 18 and he is 16 about to be 17. He is in high school and I am in college, so could it just be a maturity issue? Do you think he may have been hurt too? I just want a second opinion.

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I was thinking about the last night I talked to my ex and I told him goodbye...And a certain part just replayed in my head for awhile. I told him I loved him and that he meant the world to me, and he stood there silently and then told me that was too much pressure for him and that he still believed I would meet someone in college. Too much pressure as in he can't handle the weight of how much I care for him and can't take that responsiblity and such. I just wanted to ask for opinions on this? Because this is the first time I actually paid attention to this part of it all.

 

Keep in mind, I am 18 and he is 16 about to be 17. He is in high school and I am in college, so could it just be a maturity issue? Do you think he may have been hurt too? I just want a second opinion.

 

I think it could be a maturity issue. You are SO YOUNG and will have many relationships as you get older.Even though it hurts like hell it's a learning/growing experience for you. I promise you that you will look back on this years down the road with a completely different attitude.

 

I was 17 when my first g/f broke my heart and it ripped me to shreads,, I was hurt beyond belief,, now I look back at it and laugh,, I'm in my 40s now.

 

We have to go thru hard times like this to learn about ourselves and what we want from/for ourselves/relationships.Learn from this and move on.

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perfectlyflawed459

I figured the timing was off between us, which is a shame because we had a beautiful relationship...Sometimes I wish I never would have dated him. Falling in love in high school was not my smartest decision :( I wish he would mature already...but oh well. By the time he does mature, I guess it may be too late.

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I told him I loved him and that he meant the world to me, and he stood there silently and then told me that was too much pressure for him and that he still believed I would meet someone in college. Too much pressure as in he can't handle the weight of how much I care for him and can't take that responsiblity and such. I just wanted to ask for opinions on this? Because this is the first time I actually paid attention to this part of it all.

 

 

 

I have to say that at 16 your exbf seems more mature than some grown men I know. I guess he doesn't want to be or feel in love at his age and it seems he was reassuring you that you would find a guy who could give you the type of relationship you wanted. He knows he will date others while you are away at college and you should too. I think he is right, you have so much to experience while in college.

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perfectlyflawed459
I have to say that at 16 your exbf seems more mature than some grown men I know. I guess he doesn't want to be or feel in love at his age and it seems he was reassuring you that you would find a guy who could give you the type of relationship you wanted. He knows he will date others while you are away at college and you should too. I think he is right, you have so much to experience while in college.

He is mature for his age in some aspects, which is why I dated him when he was a freshman and I was a junior. I always kinda knew me going off to college would rip us apart, which really is a bummer. I agree, I think right now he just wants to be a guy I guess, which is also a bummer because I still love him a lot. I am not looking for a guy right now, I don't need this heartache again. But for some reason I still feel like it isn't over for good between us. I think our paths will cross again, but it will be a very long time from now when he has grown up a little and when I have too. Who knows, maybe I am in denial :o hahahaha

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I wouldn't pay too much attention to the exact words people use when they are breaking up. It's confusing and upsetting and sometimes people think aloud, but they don't necessarily mean exactly what they said.

 

It sounds to me like he just recognised that it was bad timing, which is really mature of him. And he was right really. You are both so young and will grow and change a lot in the next few years. You should go off to college and enjoy yourself and meet new people. If you are meant to be together you will find your way back to each other. And if not you will always have a fond memory of your first love. That's a nice thing to have :)

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perfectlyflawed459
I wouldn't pay too much attention to the exact words people use when they are breaking up. It's confusing and upsetting and sometimes people think aloud, but they don't necessarily mean exactly what they said.

 

It sounds to me like he just recognised that it was bad timing, which is really mature of him. And he was right really. You are both so young and will grow and change a lot in the next few years. You should go off to college and enjoy yourself and meet new people. If you are meant to be together you will find your way back to each other. And if not you will always have a fond memory of your first love. That's a nice thing to have :)

 

You are right, I know him and I said some bad things to each other when we broke up, and later found our way back to each other and admitted that we never meant it. I just think we found our way back to each other at the wrong time. I am enjoying myself and meeting new friends everyday, also trying to improve myself and become more positive. I am not looking to date because my main focus is myself and making myself happy. I mean we always manage to somehow find our way back to each other, but right now it is hard because of timing like you said and the fact that we are in different stages in life. If anything, if we do find each other again, I would want the timing to be much better, so I am in no rush to speak to him or try to reconnect again. I just know my mistake was trying to jump into things way to fast, so if it takes several months or longer, then it would be worth it if it meant we would have an even stronger bond. But for now, I want to make myself happy and we will just see what happens

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You are both very young and need to experience life. You could do it together but you are going to different colleges so this is probably for the best. Maybe later on in life you two can re conciliate and make things work

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perfectlyflawed459
You are both very young and need to experience life. You could do it together but you are going to different colleges so this is probably for the best. Maybe later on in life you two can re conciliate and make things work

 

Thanks, I know as much as it hurts me it is for the best. I love him but sometimes the best thing to do with someone you love is to let them go. I won't lie, I do feel more at peace since we aren't constantly wondering what each other is up to and and stuff so that is nice.

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