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Good lesson to not send angry emails during NC


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The break up was semi mutual (whatever that means). I didn't want to break up with her but she had hurt me one too many times. During the break up she insulted me about the clothes I wear and dirty dishes in my sink. However, she handled the break up classy. Gave me a farewell note and a lovely poem on this special paper that she had wrote all of her poems to me on (which just crushed me). I at first handled it ok but was very angry that she insulted me about my clothes. I should have let it go but could not. I held out for 3 wks of no contact and then lashed out with 3 angry emails. I initially felt good about "giving her what she deserved". She responded with two emails, the second of which just eviscerated me. She said

 

" [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Why all of a sudden you are so angry with this break up? I thought we were all done with the talks and we said our good byes and that is it. What the hell is up with you?[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]You know after reading the 'I see you" email, I'm really glad that we broke up now. Cause now I see you, what kind of person you are. At first I was had this regretful feeling that I should have tried harder. You know, I thought so much of how I would go to you and tell you that I rather live with your flaws then to live without you at all. I thought of it so often that I dreamed of myself going to your house and seeing the kids there and waving to them and then begging you for forgiveness, and only to have you turn me down, then I would I run away in tears and hopped into an elevator (yes this is a dream) and you would come after me and stop the elevator door. Then we were walking and talking and in the end we were holding hands and kissing. Then my dream ended. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I take back about what I said "I wish it didn't have to end" I'm glad it ended now. I have no regrets for my actions. I only wished that you had never stepped into the store that day. Then I wouldn't have wasted my time and effort in pursuing the love that I thought I spend the rest of my life with. I've wasted countless hours in searching for the perfect poem to express how I feel about the love of my life. I've wasted countless amount of tears over the love of my life. All my efforts for nothing. In return only to be called "heartless, selfish, uncaring etc."[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I really wish I was heartless, then I wouldn't be crying for hours each night. Thinking about you every waking moment, everyday, since the day we broke up. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]You can call me whatever you can come up with. I really don't care anymore! I may not be as confident about my looks or my body, but I'm D^&* confident about who I am! I don't have to prove myself to you. I know I have a great personality and I'm a good person. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I rather spend my life lonely than to be with someone like you.”[/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]

Ouch.... Let that be a lesson...

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Oh well! What's done is done!

 

To be honest, she seems to have all these idea's or mind movies on how a relationship should be like, and you didn't fit that bill. But the fact is, THIS IS REALITY!!! There aren't any "knights in shining armor" that's only in the movies! You shouldn't have to change who you are to fit how she invisions a relationship. People have flaws...that's just how it is.

 

If she keeps thinking that way, she IS going to be alone for quite some time.

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There is a quote, I don't remember from who:

 

Write your enemies letters, but never send them.

 

Pretty much, write your feelings down. Just don't send it to them. I have a binder full of letters to people that have hurt me!

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Oh well! What's done is done!

 

To be honest, she seems to have all these idea's or mind movies on how a relationship should be like, and you didn't fit that bill. But the fact is, THIS IS REALITY!!! There aren't any "knights in shining armor" that's only in the movies! You shouldn't have to change who you are to fit how she invisions a relationship. People have flaws...that's just how it is.

 

If she keeps thinking that way, she IS going to be alone for quite some time.

 

Well she didn't fit the bill either... You must have read some of my other posts on her being a control freak/very high maintenance woman...Yea always seeing my goddam "flaws". Wanting me to clean my dam feet off before coming in the house. Wanting me to change to showering at night. Secretly not liking how I dress. I better stop thinking about it lest the anger start rising again...****.

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There is a quote, I don't remember from who:

 

Write your enemies letters, but never send them.

 

Pretty much, write your feelings down. Just don't send it to them. I have a binder full of letters to people that have hurt me!

 

She's not really an enemy but, I understand. NEVER should have sent them.

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Yeah probably good to not send a hate e-mail to her, though I am curious did you curse her out or expose some lie she was hiding?

 

I know with my ex-fiancee I had to write a somewhat emotionless e-mail, mind you without the cursing and all that rudeness, exposing her deciet and victim card playing game for a made up excuse. She just went all narcisstic on me.

 

I think your ex is just playing that card also but yeah it is always better to get up and just leave because it doesn't seem to EVER work to beg and/or try to release your anger.

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