Think I'm having a nervous breakdown

[lonelynyc]

For whatever reason I went into panic mode tonight. I just had to find out how she felt about me right now no matter what the consequences would be for my sanity. I called, in tears, of course. And of course, she showed no sympathy. Told me she wasn't ready to hang out with me in person, even though she's ready to tell about new guys she's into--"too much stuff happened". what the **** is that supposed to mean?!? I'm not over her, nor can I pretend to be. It eats away at me every single day, mostly because I lost my best friend too when she decided to vanish from my life. She told me to call back when I'm more together. She tore my heart into pieces and she wants me to be calm? I can't.

 

I have NO ONE. I lost everything. My father is dying, my mother is long dead, my sister isn't there for me, my friends are all too gregarious and shallow to help me through this. Basically I'm sick to my stomach and there's no remedy. I'm living alone and at 23, if this is what life is like I don't even want to know what it'll be like moving forward. It's just really hard.

 

For me this breakup has been more than just depressing, it's been a new panic attack at least once a week. Any more of this isolation, I just don't know how I can go on with it.

[EgoJoe]

I really wish you hadn't of broken NC but now you know that she's absolutely oblivious to your feelings and the feelings of others. It's the fog of attraction.

 

You have us. I promise you that your life is worth living and your suffering will not last forever.

[lonelynyc]

I really wish you hadn't of broken NC but now you know that she's absolutely oblivious to your feelings and the feelings of others. It's the fog of attraction.

 

You have us. I promise you that your life is worth living and your suffering will not last forever.

 

All I see is misery. It's just too much pain. Somebody told me to be thankful for my health the other day. Why even care anymore? Everyone I ever loved is gone. It's like I go through the motions each day to maintain the prison I'm in. **** I'd be less lonely in actual jail.

[Lucio]

U sound to be in a worse state than yest...

 

It's natural to keep falling back into the abyss of misery. There needs to be no reason. it's ok to cry n be miserable right now. Don't force yourself to do anything that requires any tinge of effort. Cry your gut out. Dont listen to ppl who say "stop crying!" or "you need to move on!". It's perfectly fine if you just want to wail and not budge for now.

 

You have us here. Write out whatever is in your head, post it here if you want. Just let yourself go.

 

The only rule is you must not harm yourself nor call her in tears again. Both of which will kill you. I still want to see you on the cover of Forbes.

[ken_25]

I can see why you're feeling this way, but you can get through this man. First, the ex, ok so you had a set back by calling her. You now understand what calling her really does. It will only hurt you right now. Delete her number if you have to. NC starts again immediately.

 

Second, I suggest seeing a therapist. You'll be able to talk and rant, cry, whatever and they will be right there for you to listen and guide. You need someone in person to count on, this can really help. Writing down your feelings and thoughts is also a good idea right now. Write letters to your ex (do not send them), write down random things you're feeling, rants, thoughts, whatever. It helps.. and another thing that I always try and remember, no matter what, someone out there has it worse than you and they're surviving, and someone out there has it worse than that person and they're surviving. You can make it through this.

[lonelynyc]

I can see why you're feeling this way, but you can get through this man. First, the ex, ok so you had a set back by calling her. You now understand what calling her really does. It will only hurt you right now. Delete her number if you have to. NC starts again immediately.

 

Second, I suggest seeing a therapist. You'll be able to talk and rant, cry, whatever and they will be right there for you to listen and guide. You need someone in person to count on, this can really help. Writing down your feelings and thoughts is also a good idea right now. Write letters to your ex (do not send them), write down random things you're feeling, rants, thoughts, whatever. It helps.. and another thing that I always try and remember, no matter what, someone out there has it worse than you and they're surviving, and someone out there has it worse than that person and they're surviving. You can make it through this.

 

Thank you for the kind words. I think I will look into therapy I need to find ways to channel all of this sadness. My problems might not be life and death, but being this alone can certainly tear you apart. I survived for years while my parents were sick. Watched my mother die, and am now watching my father go the same way. Just surviving isn't something to aspire to. I feel like I haven't really lived since she walked out of my life.

[betterdeal]

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. That must be a real strain on you. My advice is to pamper yourself a bit right now. You deserve it. Find a barber and have a haircut and a proper wet shave. Book yourself an appointment with a massage therapist and let someone else take care of you for an hour.

 

You're a decent guy, you're just in one of those low moments that happen in every life. And what do we do when we fall over? We pick ourselves up. You're going to be fine, my friend. Just take your time and be kind to yourself.