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So your hearts been broken.


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Ok you've just been dumped by the love of your life. Your world has been turned upside down, your heart is shattered. You can't eat, you can't sleep or think straight, you walk around like a zombie, your devastated and feel physically sick!

 

It's such a horrible feeling and you don't know what to do. Sooner or later it happens to almost all of us so your not alone. I'm going thru my own personal hell too.

 

Your first thought is: How do I get him/her back??

 

I can honestly say that you WILL GET THRU THIS, even though as you read this your thinking otherwise. Just to backup many other posts here I can't stress enough that you must strictly follow the NO CONTACT RULE !!

 

Following that rule is meant to HELP YOU get thru this, not to get him/her back however in following this rule it may, may make them wonder about you and miss you depending on the situation.

 

Calling, texting, emails,showing up at their work/home,begging, pleading,crying only delays YOUR healing process and will actually push your ex further away from you and makes you look pathetic!! and gives them all the power and he/she will think your just sitting around waiting on them.

 

If your doing this now, STOP! If you have'nt DONT START! I suggest you (if you have'nt already) let this person know how you feel, what you want then leave it at that, again no begging, pleading etc. Don't call or do this face to face because it will stir up all those emotions and could get out of hand.The ball is in there corner now. You need to move on with your life. I know it's easy to say yet so very hard to do.

 

Join a gym, work out your frustrations,surround yourself with friends and family, seek out professional help I did and it helps soooo much!! You must look out for and take care of YOURSELF!

I also found out that keeping a diary, writing in it everyday how you feel helps alot. As the days, weeks go by look at it and you can see your progress even though you will have days of setbacks. Also writing a letter or email venting your frustrations helps too. Make sure you DO NOT SEND IT,, DO NOT.

 

Oh how we all wish there was a heartbreak pill we could take and be healed. (They can land a man on the moon but can't do that)

Each breakup is different for many reasons. Regardless if your now ex left you to be with someone else,DOUBLE OUCH or they just don't think it's working or could ever work. By following the No Contact rule works wonders.

 

I promise you, YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS HORRIBLE TIME !!!! You WILL learn from this and become a stronger and better person. If and only if they do want to come back chances are (especially if it's been many months) you may not want them back, you have bettered yourself and moved on,, you'll see. One day you will have another love in your life, and you will,,, you will look back on this and say,,, what was I thinking.

 

Hang in there and best of luck.

Edited by mike588
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Well said.

 

My situation is a bit different, because our relationship ended not because of a lack of love but because I did my xbf wrong. I ended up hurting him immensely and he suffered a lot. He however tried to work it out with me months later and I rejected him only b/c we were in the midst of an argument that time.

 

A few days later after I rejected him, I realized what error I made and tried to get him back to no avail.

 

The last 2 months have been a nightmare! Cant eat, sleep, dont care to socialize, even shave etc. If i do hang with my friends, they see the hurt in my eyes and they see im not the same person.

 

I think what makes my situation diff is not only am I dealing with the breakup but also, I'm dealing with the fact that the break up was MY fault. So technically, is this justifiable punishment? Maybe it is.

 

Whereas had he been the one to screw up , I would be in a much better position to deal with the break up, bc i know i didnt cause the end of it.

 

NOnentheless, I love him to death and if I didnt, I would be going through this unbareable pain.

 

You are right about NC being the only way to get over someone.

 

Last week i met at my friends place (he's been staying there for some time as he's having family issues) and we finally had a good 1 on 1. Yes it was tough for me to face him, but it gave me my chance to give it once last attempt to get him back. And while he said he doesnt want to work it out simply cuz the pain is too much............ he wants me in his life as a friend because he does care about me still. He says so often and i know the love is buried down there. He said he doesnt like to see me cry etc.

 

But I told him recently i dont think i can be his friend. So i need to cut him off completely. Problem is, he doesn't have any friends of his own, so he's grown close to mine and he's staying at my friends place right now bc he's having issues with his family. I dont know how long it will last, but it hasn't sit well with me b/c it doesn't let me move on.

 

So i must cut everything and anything linked to him. Weird part is, is he still remains in touch with my own brothers to, cuz he likes them.

 

Anyway, im venting. But you are right. ABSOLUTE NC - is needed. To the point where i dont want anyone to mention his name. I deleted my FB for god sakes jus so that i dont accidentaly see someone post a picture of him on their FB. As much as im glad my friend is there to house him at his place in a time of need, I need to keep my distance from my friend too. He stuck in the middle, but if i dont do this, I wont heal.

 

Absolute NC is the way to go. its been 1 week today for me. Really tough.

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Well said.

 

My situation is a bit different, because our relationship ended not because of a lack of love but because I did my xbf wrong. I ended up hurting him immensely and he suffered a lot. He however tried to work it out with me months later and I rejected him only b/c we were in the midst of an argument that time.

 

A few days later after I rejected him, I realized what error I made and tried to get him back to no avail.

 

The last 2 months have been a nightmare! Cant eat, sleep, dont care to socialize, even shave etc. If i do hang with my friends, they see the hurt in my eyes and they see im not the same person.

 

I think what makes my situation diff is not only am I dealing with the breakup but also, I'm dealing with the fact that the break up was MY fault. So technically, is this justifiable punishment? Maybe it is.

 

Whereas had he been the one to screw up , I would be in a much better position to deal with the break up, bc i know i didnt cause the end of it.

 

NOnentheless, I love him to death and if I didnt, I would be going through this unbareable pain.

 

You are right about NC being the only way to get over someone.

 

Last week i met at my friends place (he's been staying there for some time as he's having family issues) and we finally had a good 1 on 1. Yes it was tough for me to face him, but it gave me my chance to give it once last attempt to get him back. And while he said he doesnt want to work it out simply cuz the pain is too much............ he wants me in his life as a friend because he does care about me still. He says so often and i know the love is buried down there. He said he doesnt like to see me cry etc.

 

But I told him recently i dont think i can be his friend. So i need to cut him off completely. Problem is, he doesn't have any friends of his own, so he's grown close to mine and he's staying at my friends place right now bc he's having issues with his family. I dont know how long it will last, but it hasn't sit well with me b/c it doesn't let me move on.

 

So i must cut everything and anything linked to him. Weird part is, is he still remains in touch with my own brothers to, cuz he likes them.

 

Anyway, im venting. But you are right. ABSOLUTE NC - is needed. To the point where i dont want anyone to mention his name. I deleted my FB for god sakes jus so that i dont accidentaly see someone post a picture of him on their FB. As much as im glad my friend is there to house him at his place in a time of need, I need to keep my distance from my friend too. He stuck in the middle, but if i dont do this, I wont heal.

 

Absolute NC is the way to go. its been 1 week today for me. Really tough.

Yes I agree it's hard to be friends. It only drags out the pain.It seems like you havent really been involved in the no contact with him very long, meeting him , having a 1 on 1, him rejecting you, you rejecting him.

 

I don't know the reason why you did your b/f wrong. If you cheated on him? thats almost a death nail.

 

Tell him what you feel, what you want and leave it at that. NO MORE CONTACT! This will help him deal with the pain he's feeling and will help you too.

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Well we had broken up in Feb but maintained this weird friendship relationship in March April.

 

During that time, I was hooking up with people. Yet him and I were hanging out (as friends).

 

Eventually he found out about these encounters I had and he accused me of cheating. I didnt think that was fair as I was single, but I suppose from his point of view, it hurts when he hears I was with ppl even though we were hanging out.

 

I guess what we should have done was stop hanging out the minute we broke up, but because we didnt; because we kept hanging out alone, in his mind we were still together. Fair enough.

 

To your point though - I'm glad I got everything off my chest and told him how I feel. I'm leaving it at that. And im glad our last conversation was a positive one. I think that's an important step in the NC process. That is, its good to have a positive convo BEFORE you begin NC. Leave a final positive impression in their mind before you go your way.

 

Before I went NC, I was able to get him to wipe my tears from my face, he told me he cares about me and doesnt like seeing me cry, he said he wants me in his life still and on top of that I was literally sitting on top of him (intimate) ..........and when i was about to leave he asked me to stay and invite my brother over so he could hang with him.......... So yea, all those things were positive elements that creates a positive last impression on me to help me begin NC.

 

Thanks for your post and last reply - you really hit the nail.

 

 

I just wish I could fast foward my NC to 6 months from now and see the person I

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Great post mike. I hope others read. I'm past that crazy emotional heartbreak phase, and although the toughest part for me is that i cant/didnt go NC bc him and I are in the same tight knit crew..I still fully support NC, if if it was easy in my case, I woulda done it!! An ex is best left unseen ever again :) thanks for sharing, despite being on my with healing, it was still nice to read something like that

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I messed up with my bf b doing what people call "emotional cheating" i sent private pics o fmyself to another friend and i got caught. I broke my bf's heart and i really hate myself each day for doing so. I can barley eat, i cant sleep, i miss him o much, weve been dating for a year and i went and blew it. I need a way to get him back because thats all i can think of. I havent followed the no contact rule and i dont think i can go a day without texting him. Especially when he still texts back. Hes really cold in his messages and talks to me like a friend but we havetn had face to face contact yet. I need advice. What should i do????????????????????????

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I messed up with my bf b doing what people call "emotional cheating" i sent private pics o fmyself to another friend and i got caught. I broke my bf's heart and i really hate myself each day for doing so. I can barley eat, i cant sleep, i miss him o much, weve been dating for a year and i went and blew it. I need a way to get him back because thats all i can think of. I havent followed the no contact rule and i dont think i can go a day without texting him. Especially when he still texts back. Hes really cold in his messages and talks to me like a friend but we havetn had face to face contact yet. I need advice. What should i do????????????????????????

 

The good news for you is you only emotionally cheated. Big difference in doing that versus actually cheating. I'd call/text him one last time expressing how deeply sorry you are, it will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, you love and care for him very much then leave it at that then no contact.

 

He will know how you feel,now the ball is in his corner. Give him some space and time to sulk, think about it. I'm sure he's cold in this texts because he's mad and upset.

 

Stop bugging him, give him some time. If he loves you he will come back to you I'm sure.

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gluttonForPunishment
Ok you've just been dumped by the love of your life. Your world has been turned upside down, your heart is shattered. You can't eat, you can't sleep or think straight, you walk around like a zombie, your devastated and feel physically sick!

 

It's such a horrible feeling and you don't know what to do. Sooner or later it happens to almost all of us so your not alone. I'm going thru my own personal hell too.

 

Your first thought is: How do I get him/her back??

 

I can honestly say that you WILL GET THRU THIS, even though as you read this your thinking otherwise. Just to backup many other posts here I can't stress enough that you must strictly follow the NO CONTACT RULE !!

 

Following that rule is meant to HELP YOU get thru this, not to get him/her back however in following this rule it may, may make them wonder about you and miss you depending on the situation.

 

Calling, texting, emails,showing up at their work/home,begging, pleading,crying only delays YOUR healing process and will actually push your ex further away from you and makes you look pathetic!! and gives them all the power and he/she will think your just sitting around waiting on them.

 

If your doing this now, STOP! If you have'nt DONT START! I suggest you (if you have'nt already) let this person know how you feel, what you want then leave it at that, again no begging, pleading etc. Don't call or do this face to face because it will stir up all those emotions and could get out of hand.The ball is in there corner now. You need to move on with your life. I know it's easy to say yet so very hard to do.

 

Join a gym, work out your frustrations,surround yourself with friends and family, seek out professional help I did and it helps soooo much!! You must look out for and take care of YOURSELF!

I also found out that keeping a diary, writing in it everyday how you feel helps alot. As the days, weeks go by look at it and you can see your progress even though you will have days of setbacks. Also writing a letter or email venting your frustrations helps too. Make sure you DO NOT SEND IT,, DO NOT.

 

Oh how we all wish there was a heartbreak pill we could take and be healed. (They can land a man on the moon but can't do that)

Each breakup is different for many reasons. Regardless if your now ex left you to be with someone else,DOUBLE OUCH or they just don't think it's working or could ever work. By following the No Contact rule works wonders.

 

I promise you, YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS HORRIBLE TIME !!!! You WILL learn from this and become a stronger and better person. If and only if they do want to come back chances are (especially if it's been many months) you may not want them back, you have bettered yourself and moved on,, you'll see. One day you will have another love in your life, and you will,,, you will look back on this and say,,, what was I thinking.

 

Hang in there and best of luck.

 

Ummm... I would love to do NC. How do I accomplish this with 4 kids. Even when I don't talk to her the kids inadvertently tell me things I don't want to hear. What's a guy that wants NC gotta do to get it?

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