kj4412 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Sooo Ill start with the story and sit back and relax for this one... Me and my ex girlfriend were going out for 2 years, loved so much. We did everything together, very close and had great times and her family was very close with me too, and they were all very awesome! We only had 1 real fight, but it was fixed within minutes! Then out of the blue... she said she wanted a break....? I was like what??? So i let her have her break, i dont think i gave her as much space as she wanted. Then I got a phone call, and she broke up with me. Later that week I went to her family dinner party for her birthday. Gave her present, said this is for you and not to get you back. Then that was basically it, I learned to go NC. About 2- 3 weeks after our broke up she went out with another guy... I never got to reveal my big surprises for her... was going to bring her skydiving for graduation, and bringing her to france in the summer to meet some of my family. So i stuck with no contact, but her mom still contacted me a couple times to see how im doing. She said she hated that new boyfriend and never wanted to see him in their house. But that doesn't change anything. I really kept busy (and still do til this day). Im a college student (so is my ex), im working 2 jobs, volunteer work, im doing weightlifting with a strict diet. I was in shape before but now im starting to pack on some huge muscle mass =). So its been 7 months for our breakup, and her mom recently called me again ( I enjoy talking to her mom), and just talked to see whats up with eachother. She said that her and the boyfriend broke up, but who knows ( they were trying to keep it a secret the whole time cause of their families or something). I have reason tried dating another girl, it was all good, then she decided to go back with her ex that broke up with her.... but its whatever. My feelings are still their for my original ex and I'm doing my best to work on myself. She was my first love and I really loved for who she was. So not really sure what my question is, im just really confused, and if you guys could tell me maybe whats up, let me know and much appreciated! =) sorry if theres typo's kinda in a hurry when i typed this Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Talking with the mom is a little unusual - and that is a link to the girl you were with. Unfortunately all you can do is give it time. Keep up the good work, and everything will work out one way or another. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
danceallday Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Wow! Skydiving and a trip to France? You sound like an awesome boyfriend and she is a fool. Maintain nc, she may have been suffering from GIGS. Let her come to you and if she doesn't you are going to make some girl very, very happy because you sound like a great guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kj4412 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 thanks for the advice so far guys! and yes she recently jsut started college (GIGS is very possible), but the gym, is such a huge help for keeping my mind off her, and im eating the right diet and lifting so it has inspired me to be a more dedicated person for everything! Thanks again for advice guys! It is very unusual, definatley when the mom hinted to me that the new boyfriend and her broke up? Kinda odd Link to post Share on other sites
Dark Phoenix Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 definatley when the mom hinted to me that the new boyfriend and her broke up? Kinda odd Sounds like the Mom isn't to happy with her decision to breakup with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kj4412 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 theres still that feeling in me that wants her back, and I do miss her, but i know to keep moving! Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 If you want her back why not try and contact her. If you do, DO NOT SAY, hey I just heard your single again wanna go out. Is it possible to "accidently" run into her somewhere?? If she wants you back she will find you. She may, may feel alittle guilty about breaking up with you and won't have the courage to contact you.If you do get back together it's best not to bring up the past,, the breakup until much later if at all. Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Two things I want to give you my perspective on her mom calling you seems a little peculiar, it may also be a trap because she lets her "best friend" mom know about things and say things in her name. That is usually not a good sign if you are in a relationship with a girl like that, because her mom is always going to be with you guys. If there is something she has to say she needs to speak up. Just my two cents. Now on moving on and bettering yourself - you are doing a really good job! See the old relationship died and there is not going back to what you guys once had. She needs proof that you have changed and you will also (in the course of time - once both of you have healed) need proof that she has changed. This urge to change is much greater with the dumpees rather than dumpers which is really a good thing for you to live and learn. Best of luck man Link to post Share on other sites
Author kj4412 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Thankyou immitable for the great advice! I know it might not be best still talking to her mom, but I still enjoy talking to her mom (not talking about my ex though). Usually if she brings her up, i try to change subject, and I dont wanna ask questions like how is she doing, what has she been up to, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Scirok Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I sir have a similar thing going on in my life. My exs mother still calls on occasion as much as my friends and my own family tell me it's unhealthy I still answer. I'm curious as to what she knows that I don't altho my situation is a little bit different her family along with mine were crushed we were together for three years and were seem to be too perfect and after the break up this new guy came around which was a perk addict and drug dealer and her mom gave her the option to choose her (her mother) or him (the ****bag) she picked him getting herself kicked out of her own house she's now not talked to her mother in 2 months because she refuses to accept her daughter dating such scum my opinion is as hard as it is tell the mother that you need to move on and unless something important happens to no call you cause it hurts more and more Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Point of the story is she left you for another guy. Keep that in your head. If you got back together with her, guess what would happen again? You should have ended the relationship with her mom 7 months ago. That's a string that should have been cut and you should have cut it. Honestly it doesn't matter what her mom thinks and her mom calling you is completely bull****. If you want to fast track your feelings away from her, cut all these strings otherwise you are going to get hurt again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kj4412 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 I totally agree, next time her mom calls im going to tell her, she said she was single (her daughter/ my ex is keeping her new relationship a secret). Sure enough, a friend of mine that is friends with my ex just said the other day they are still together. Any suggestions on how i should tell her mom to politely cut it off? I got ideas but its nice to hear some options =) Link to post Share on other sites
dreamcity Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Ok, I really dislike that everyone here has such a strong formula for post-break up. If you like talking to the mom, talk to her! I really don't see what it has to do with anything here. So long as you're not talking about the daughter all the time, and so long as the mom would be ok with you moving on and dating someone else too, then I don't see what it has to do with anyone here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kj4412 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 (edited) I do enjoy talking to her mom, as long as i dont talk about her daughter/my ex. And what do you guys think about keeping a relationship secret from the parents? I havent told her mom, becasue i respect her new relationship and dont want to get involved. The mother thinks that they arent together. Edited September 20, 2011 by kj4412 Link to post Share on other sites
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