martinv Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 say you give her space for like three weeks, [and also use the time to help yourself get your life in order for yourself], to contact her again, whats the best? saying you want to be freinds now, or having another go? explaining yourself now shes calmed down or do you avoid mentioning the relationship from before the break up? could she think again, or think, Im over it already I wasnt expecting this go away Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 say you give her space for like three weeks, [and also use the time to help yourself get your life in order for yourself], to contact her again, whats the best? saying you want to be freinds now, or having another go? explaining yourself now shes calmed down or do you avoid mentioning the relationship from before the break up? could she think again, or think, Im over it already I wasnt expecting this go away The first step is figuring out what you want. Do you want to be friends or more? Secondly, why did you break up? Is it something that can be fixed or are you best to be apart (be honest with yourself). It's only been a few weeks and it's likely that emotions are still running high. Nothing will be accomplished unless you both are calm and clear-headed. Lastly, never be friends with an ex immediately after a breakup.This prevents both of you from moving on and will only add grief to the grief you're already going through. Don't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author martinv Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) well, the straw that broke the camels back was, cos its LDr and I didn't come up for a bbq. she was disappointed. We usually see each other every weekend but this time it was two weeks gap because of that. She'd already made up her mind by the next time she saw me more or less. she said to me recently about if the two weeks felt any different than the one week to me cos it was ok to her. she said before its hard to keep getting used to having me around and then not etc. and she said that now she's got used to not having me around. I said, well, I lied, I said I missed her. but i didn't really notice because I was used to not seeing her too.the two weeks went the same as one week did. but i didn't want to say because it sounds really bad. she thinks getting used to someone not being there and not loving them are the same thing I think :? and I really dont think it is the way it prob seems is I didn't care, and then I got desperate when I found out we were breaking up. but really i did care i was just dumb, i wrote a little thing i was thinking of sending her below but now I'm not so sure it's a good idea. ps it's not bs, I don't know how it comes across to people not on LDR saying you didn't notice difference between two weeks or one week! ...i lied about that week i didnt come up for the bbq. it was because i didnt want to come up and have to adjust again because it hurts every time to say hi for a couple of days and then say bye. I was used to not seeing her. when you get used to it, the time goes faster. and the faster the time goes, the sooner we would be living together for real and not have to put up with it. I long time ago stopped letting myself get used to her being around like she also said is prone to doing. Often I'd act the same as when she wasn't there (depressed, moping about, playing games, reading etc). These past days feel waaaay longer than the two week gap from before which went fastly by because there is no light at the end of the tunnel this time, you can't buckle down and just 'get on with it' with nothing to head towards. i wanted to say she was right to break it up but then I don't know how to restart things, i really want to be with her. when we were with each other for a longer period of time, on holidays and stuff, we get on so well its magic. we just stopped letting ourselves get used to each other anymore on short visits and it got a bit rubbish. if i dropped everything and we got a house now im sure it would be fantastic but she said her mind was made up i realise how i said i acted when she wasnt there was totally lame and not something girls like. i was a bit dependant and on the days ahe wwasn't there i jsut got used to wasting the time away util she came around and then I was jsut doing it all the time. I've picekd myself up now but too late i think.. I Edited September 11, 2011 by martinv Link to post Share on other sites
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