Some reflecting...

[Buttercup84]

Before I met my ex I was a bit lost. I was studying part-time and just doing some promotional work in bars.

 

He fought for me and I fell in love hard. But despite being independent and confident at first , after my abortion and him calling off our engagement , I just fell apart. He always made me feel guilty for the abortion and I was never able to talk about my grief with him.It just ate me up inside.

 

He still wanted a baby with me eventually though and we talked about it. But I felt him drifting away and I clung on to him so much and he broke up with me later for a few days and we got back together.

 

He was a great guy but had a temper and I was a bit scared , and I changed myself for him.But he didn't change for me. I just wanted him to listen to me more and talk.But he got angry when I asked.

 

 

I would always rush home from work to see him because he wanted dinner at a certain time. ( he cooked during the week ) and I didn't feel confident enough to stay out because I thought he would forget me.Stupid huh ?

 

 

He wanted me to meet my friends more but I felt like if I did I would lose him. He didn't take me out on a date for a year.We were together for two years. He said I embaressed him when I didn't finish my meal at places.

 

I didn't know what I wanted anymore , I felt unsexy and just let myself go. I put on a few kilos , but was still slim.I jus nt dressed daggy and didn't bother with my hair anymore , I tried before to dress up sexy and do my hair and makeup but he hardly complimented me anymore. I once greeted him one night at the door wearing his shirt , suspenders and sexy underwear and he just wanted to watch tv. Our last nye he sat on the sofa playing with his iphone and we argued because of it. He just stopped paying me attention.People at work said they never seen me happy.My ex also never went to weddings or other things with me and I had to make excuses while my friends boyfriends went out with them a lot.

 

 

Now I am a down to earth kind of girl but look affter myself , am happy and adventures.He just drained me , and I lost myself. I never want that to happen again. I learned that you should never lose yourself in a relationship like that , he had such power over me and didn't respect me anymore.He said I put him on a pedastal.Instead of me being an equal and demanding the same treatment. I should have gotten respect.He bitched about me to his friends and he signed to a dating site before we broke up.

 

 

I put up with it because I loved him and felt like I deserved it because I was a bit diffcult in the beginning. I should never have to beg my boyfriend to hug or kiss me , he should be proud to show me off and go out with me.He would talk with respect about me and leave our problems between us.

[Dark Phoenix]

You should never change yourself for anybody. Your significant other should be an accent to your life, not a mold and you shouldn't be a mold to their life either. I made this same mistake and my ex did as well. Learn from these experiences that you described and focus on yourself.