Thinking out loud

[intigo]

40 days since the break up 4 days ago i had my closure she killed every hope i had for us being together again, the feeling wasnt there and wont be in the future she doesnt want me to try to win her back never again...I punish my self everyday in the gym, i hang out with my friends, i do things for myself i even got a new job,nothing makes me happy EVERYTHING seems pointless. I want her back but how can you want something you can never have?so now what do i want? I want to see myself smile again.i wish i had a timemachine so i could see how am i doing in the future. this emptyness i feel keeps geting bigger she changed me to another person.I dont like my new self i dont understand whats wrong with me. Im heartbroken but not sad, one moment i feel strong and the next i feel like crying. she goes on with her life like nothing happened why cant i do it?its crazy being in love with someone who doesnt feel nothing for you. how did that happened? i had to learn this now? with her? to hear these words for the first time in my life ''I m not in love with you'' and from her? she was everything to me, everything felt right and our relationship was like a dream....now i know it was a dream. I wope up from it and im alone again.After the break up i was hoping for the best and waiting for the worst guess what the second happened...maybe some people are destined to be alone.