stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 For some reason, I really want to call my ex tonight and talk about what went down. We haven't spoken in 2.5 months at all. But, I feel so down and tonight I was in his neighborhood. Passed his apt, the streets we walked on. It really makes me miss him. I miss him so much. I just want to call him. Help, somebody stop me Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Don't do it. Seriously! Do not call him! It will not help you feel better and actually risks you feeling a lot worse. Why did you split? What were the bad parts of the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Don't do it. You are hurt and sad now. But you will feel like a hurt, sad, idiot when you reach out and are left hanging:sick: Try try try to find something else to think about, read a book...anything! I know it's tough!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 holy crappers, i did it! i sent a text...you are right, he is just going to ignore me anyway. i am a masochist Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 yep, he hasn't replied. i feel pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 For some reason, I really want to call my ex tonight and talk about what went down. We haven't spoken in 2.5 months at all. But, I feel so down and tonight I was in his neighborhood. Passed his apt, the streets we walked on. It really makes me miss him. I miss him so much. I just want to call him. Help, somebody stop me I'll play. It won't be the end of the world if you call him. The sky won't fall and you won't get struck by lightning. You won't turn to stone. Call him. Go ahead. If you think it will accomplish anything, by all means call him. From what I read of your description of this man and the relationship you had, I am curious as to what you would accomplish by calling him, let alone what you miss (really, you miss being treated that way?), but, really, only you would know. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 yep, he hasn't replied. i feel pathetic. Took my ex over a month to respond to an email I sent him almost 6 weeks after I sent it. Just don't send him another text. You sent your last text- so let the ball be in his court. Delete his number from your phone so you're not tempted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 You are right Grace. Well I text ed him that I just want to vent. And, no reply. There you go. Accomplished nothing and I feel pathetic and even worse than before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 What is wrong with me? Why did I do that? And, also give him the satisfaction of knowing that I still think about him. That man's ego does not need another boost from me. What the living hell is wrong with me! Why can't I just let it all go?! Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 You are right Grace. Well I text ed him that I just want to vent. And, no reply. There you go. Accomplished nothing and I feel pathetic and even worse than before. I texted my ex a few weeks into the breakup. I wanted the rest of my things back and the money he owes me. No answer... it's been 2 months since that and nothing. I saw him out a couple weeks ago and he was a total jerk to me. I am past the point of wanting to call him, but it still hurts. It makes no sense, and you know why?? Because it's their choice and their perspective on how things need to be. You're clearly a caring individual to be reminiscing the way you are. But remember, it's over for a reason. You might try to text him again, you might not. But in the long run you will see it was best that he didn't answer you (I am assuming he is really not going to answer you ). Chin up! I understand how you're feeling, you are not alone! Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Just take it as a lesson learned. We've been there! It doesn't help and he just knows you are thinking about him. I'm sure he isn't interested in hearing you vent! The next text you send unless he initiated something needs to say "hey just thought I'd let you know I am engaged. Have a great life" Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 You are right Grace. Well I text ed him that I just want to vent. And, no reply. There you go. Accomplished nothing and I feel pathetic and even worse than before. Frankly, I think many of us have to do these things in order to learn not to do them. You're accountable to yourself, not any of us. So you don't feel so hot right now, right? We've all been there. Now you'll think twice before you consider doing it again ... even if you hear from him, it's not going to feel very good. You're in a learning process. So you just learned something. What's so bad about that? Lesson learned. That's a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 What is wrong with me? Why did I do that? And, also give him the satisfaction of knowing that I still think about him. That man's ego does not need another boost from me. What the living hell is wrong with me! Why can't I just let it all go?! What is wrong with you is that you are Human. Leave it now, go back to being in NC. Link to post Share on other sites
gbadboy Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I think one key thing everyone is forgetting is what was your motivation for wanting to call him/text him all of a sudden after 2.5 months of NC (which is a tremendous achievement) ? The answer based on your post seems to be because you WERE in his neighbourhood and hence all the memories came crashing down. Did you absolutely absolutely absolutely have to be in his neighbourhood that night? If you had avoided the area, you prob wouldn't have been so tempted to call. NC is not only avoiding all type of physical contact, but it's also about (depending on one's strength) - avoiding all physical places that remind you of him. My first ex, I avoid his town at all costs. I refust to even take any job interviews there. If I have to go through his town to get somewhere, i will take a detour and go AROUND the town , even if it means an extra 1-2hr drive, id do it! Anything to avoid those areas. If you feel horrible, keep reading posts on here - the more stories you hear of other people, you'll realize some of us are in worse shape. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Well, since he didn't reply...does that mean I can still be on my 2.5 month NC or do I have to start counting all over again. Grace, you are right...I feel worse than before. It's like I keep falling deeper and deeper. Just need to find a way to get my mind off of it. I need to accept that this person is out of my life, that there is a reason a he is not with me and be ok with it. Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I don't know if it helps but I made a goal of going 60 days NC. I'm not contacting him on day 61, it's just one step at a time. I have a count down on a mirror or dry erase board- when I broke NC I started over at 60. Just a way of challenging yourself. It doesn't help with the emotion or distraction but it's a promise I made to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Well, since he didn't reply...does that mean I can still be on my 2.5 month NC or do I have to start counting all over again. Grace, you are right...I feel worse than before. It's like I keep falling deeper and deeper. Just need to find a way to get my mind off of it. I need to accept that this person is out of my life, that there is a reason a he is not with me and be ok with it. Does the amount of time you've been on NC really matter? Answer: No it doesn't, its besides the point, goose . You're still in the same position as you were before so I don't particularly think its necessary to be feeling worse then before. I know that him not replying would have been a bit discouraging, but how do you think you would've been if he did reply? I think it would have moved you further back in your healing process. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 I don't know what to do anymore. I really feel like crap. By doing what I did, I asked for the rejection and I boosted his ego. The man already thinks that I will take him back whenever he wants. At least that's the way I think he thinks. I am telling you guys...I need a distraction. I can't believe my coverage does not include therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 You're right. If he had replied, I would be even worse off. It would just make me miss him more and wish for more. NC is what I will try again. Maybe I should make marks on my office wall...and look like more of a freak than I already am these days...lol. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) You're right. If he had replied, I would be even worse off. It would just make me miss him more and wish for more. NC is what I will try again. Maybe I should make marks on my office wall...and look like more of a freak than I already am these days...lol. If you meant putting marks on your office wall, in order to form a tally or something, then I don't particularly think that'd be a good idea. I presume that it'd only serve to remind you of things. It seems like you don't really have a high opinion of yourself, which is going to destroy any potential relationship that you could be in. I'm not sure if you were like this before the break up, but you need to start regaining your confidence & yes, I know that's a lot easier said then done. What are some things that you really like, but have never tried? If you start building on yourself, then you're going to gain a lot & it will really help you long term. For example, mine would be instrument related things, which when I have the money, I'm going to buy an ocarina. I honestly doubt that you're a "freak", besides, having such a low thought of yourself isn't going to help anything. If you want happiness then seek it in the best way possible, put all your effort into it. Edited September 9, 2011 by LelouchIsZero Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 well, he replied. asked if i still wanted to vent...what should i do now? Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 IGNORE IT! IF you don't, definitely don't reply today. You just said he thinks you are always there when he wants. DON'T BE! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 I miss him. I really do. But, I have to remember that he is with someone else now. I can't reply. I never should've sent the text to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stillhurt Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Besides, he just replied cause he probably feels bad for the way things happened. No other reason. That is just pity, and I don't need it. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 it doesn't matter now. all that matters is you know you can't reply. and that he is - - as you said feeling sorry for you. it's good you recognize that. venting to him is going to do you absolutely no good. continue to vent on here instead. we've all been where you are. many of us are there right now. we can give you the support you need. he can't. Link to post Share on other sites
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