ShoeGurl1973 Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 So I have been on here since March after my breakup. It's been a great way to get myself through this breakup. I was doing really well with things until yesterday when I logged onto facebook and saw my ex in a group photo out for his birthday. There's like 3 rows of people, he's in the second row with his arm around someone in the first row directly in front of him. Obviously a girl. She's not cute and I have absolutely no idea if they are together, but I know the group of people well (they were my friends first) and she doesn't belong. My only guess is that she was with him. I feel like I have been reset back to day one with a ton of emotions flooding in. He had a huge smile on his face and looked happy - made me remember how things were when we first met and I just started crying. It hurts to much to think of him with someone else, even though I could never be with him again after what an ******* he turned into when he broke up with me saying such hurtful insulting things after I had given so much in our relationship. I hate facebook! I can block him but I can't block everyone I know so seeing his updates and photos are something I can't control completely. More than anything the thought of him already moving on and having someone else makes me feel like a loser because I don't. Again, i have no confirmation this was anything but a group photo with a bunch of people smooshed together, but he's bound to have a gf at some point and they'll both be popping up in our mutual friends photos eventually. I guess I better prepare myself for the inevitable. Anyone have good tips for coping with this? Aside from killing people adn slashing tires - which is what I really want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Of course most of us on here empathize with you. Maybe you should take a facebook hiatus? Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 I stop using facebook for things like this. Just going to hurt you. Take facebook out of your life or create a new name under a nickname and start all over if you need to have facebook in your life. I can live without it! Link to post Share on other sites
WindWhisperer Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 I stop using facebook for things like this. Just going to hurt you. Take facebook out of your life or create a new name under a nickname and start all over if you need to have facebook in your life. I can live without it! Agreed I know i am going to regret going on facebook its more hurt waiting to happen u dont need it u can go back to it after a while Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 I deleted my fb today. I'm sick of seeing people hurt each other in a public forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Delete Facebook, you don't need it. Anyone I care about I speak to outside of FB and in... real life. Link to post Share on other sites
waunakoenig Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 No one has addressed the real issue here, and its one I'm relating to myself now. That is, how do you deal with those sad or jealous feelings you get when you think about your ex being happy with someone else. Two weeks ago I broke up with a woman I've been dating for the past 16 months. When we broke up I was doing pretty well because it truly felt like a mutual decision. We both have been realizing for the past few months that we have some core differences and a long term relationship will never work out. So like I said, I've been fine, even quite happy and optimistic about finding someone new who might be a better match. Then I hear this weekend from some mutual friends that she was out the other night with another guy. Apparently he is someone she knew from a previous job many years ago and has been in touch with. He just filed for divorce and then called her to talk and she is being a friend to him. Suddenly I'm jealous and really really sad about our breakup! I know we weren't a good match and did the right thing by breaking up, but its almost like I'm feeling this way because she's getting lucky before me! Its childish I know, but its how I'm feeling and sounds a little like what shoegirl is going through. Link to post Share on other sites
Surf Rider Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 So I have been on here since March after my breakup. It's been a great way to get myself through this breakup. I was doing really well with things until yesterday when I logged onto facebook and saw my ex in a group photo out for his birthday. There's like 3 rows of people, he's in the second row with his arm around someone in the first row directly in front of him. Obviously a girl. She's not cute and I have absolutely no idea if they are together, but I know the group of people well (they were my friends first) and she doesn't belong. My only guess is that she was with him. I feel like I have been reset back to day one with a ton of emotions flooding in. He had a huge smile on his face and looked happy - made me remember how things were when we first met and I just started crying. It hurts to much to think of him with someone else, even though I could never be with him again after what an ******* he turned into when he broke up with me saying such hurtful insulting things after I had given so much in our relationship. I hate facebook! I can block him but I can't block everyone I know so seeing his updates and photos are something I can't control completely. More than anything the thought of him already moving on and having someone else makes me feel like a loser because I don't. Again, i have no confirmation this was anything but a group photo with a bunch of people smooshed together, but he's bound to have a gf at some point and they'll both be popping up in our mutual friends photos eventually. I guess I better prepare myself for the inevitable. Anyone have good tips for coping with this? Aside from killing people adn slashing tires - which is what I really want to do. I deleted my facebook and it has helped me so much as far as the healing process. Trust me, you will feel a lot better deleting it so you don't have to see all of his updates. Facebook is just a place for drama Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Facebook has got to be the worst thing out there....it's FB where my ex boyfriend met the other woman...where he conducted his relationship with her, all behind my back of course. It's where she suddenly announced that he had put a ring on her finger, wow good thing I was suspicious, otherwise I would have not realized that....ugh once I confronted him, then the two of them derived much pleasure talking about how much in love they are, and 2 months later splashed pictures of their wedding all over both their pages.... The only reason I kept my FB page up after this was because my father died and all my family are on FB planning our family reunion. After the reunion, I deleted my account. Mmmm hmmm, yeah...I decided that after a few months I'm okay, I can handle it now, blah blah....and guess what? I went to his page and felt like I was back at square one! The only things I know of to get over betrayal is time and distance. ALOT OF TIME!!!! It also helps to use your energy in different ways, a way to get your mind off the ex. It isn't easy. But it is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShoeGurl1973 Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Great, now the pics of them kissing are being posted. OUCHIE OUCHIE!! I want to gouge my eyes out with a knife right now!!! I Hate you facebook! I have blocked people and deleted some from my news feed so I don't get this surprise when I open facebook. Seriously, you don't know the evil of social networking till you are in a break up situation. Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 When I got hurt I deleted my FB acc too. There were a few times though when I lost some control and peeked at that little pic. But no more of it, thanks, not for me. Those important to me know my phone number anyway. I found this quote somewhere on internet and I agree with all said: RE: Facebook ALOT of 'happy' people aren't as happy as they'd like you to believe. Alot of them are putting on a show. And that's exactly what facebook is alll about. The whole concept of facebook is beyond me. Posting pictures of yourself, your average mediocre self and your average mediocre life and friends for every other average mediocre people to see. WHO GIVES A DAMN!!?!? Don't let facebook depress you. Facebook, to me, is a joke. I hate it. I hate the narcissitic aspect of it. People act like they're famous or some ***t. They act llike, and you'd think, that other people CAN'T WAIT to see and hear about their average days. LOL people are funny. Link to post Share on other sites
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