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I've lost my place to cope..


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Quest4_TheLost

Dear, LSer's

 

I go by another name here.. I don't know what to do..

 

I have been on this site for a long time it was my place to rant and go when I needed advice. I have been split with my ex for 7 months.

Recently some posts I made and the reaction I got from them made me start thinking ex was looking at my posts here..

 

Now when I first met my ex will call the ex "potatoe" I showed potatoe this site and my user name.. MISTAKE! but I really didn't think potatoe would go and look at my posts.. I didn't think potatoe cared. So I needed to know.. I needed to know if potatoe has been reading everything I posted about potatoe. So I posted somthing extreme and the very next day, I get a phone call from potatoe "checking up on me" gave me some time to calm down before speaking. Because me and potatoe have a child together we will call "spud"..

 

The end of the conversation was silence and potatoe asks if there was anything else I would like to discuss. It wasn't enough info for me to say I caught potatoe red handed and thats what it gets for snooping into my buisness. But I know for sure now potatoe is looking at my posts..

 

I am so upset.. All the things I posted here about potatoe and now I feel like such a jack rabbit.. I know its all been read and potatoe just is enjoying a great ego stroke. I don't really understand why potatoe would do this. Potatoe is that bored? There is no way this potatoe has feelings its one of those selfish potatoe's.. I feel like I have been robbed of my place to rant and rave and now I have to change my name even though I have been here forever and everyone knows me under the old name.

 

Maybe it was immature of me to post somthing extreme but I had to know what potatoe was up too.. :mad::mad::mad: I WOULD LOVE TO SKIN POTATOE!!

 

Why is potatoe being such a snoop???

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lalalandman

Is this a joke? Don't you think Potatoe will be smart enough to snoop around and figure out that she is in fact Potatoe??

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Quest4_TheLost
Is this a joke? Don't you think Potatoe will be smart enough to snoop around and figure out that she is in fact Potatoe??

 

I wish it was a joke...

I feel so embarrassed about everything I've posted. You would think I would have some common sense and realize people get curious..

 

No I think potatoe is as dumb as a potatoe.

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Quest4_TheLost

The moral of this story is don't show your lovers where you post at wether it be in a relationship forum giving advice or elsewhere.

If that relationship ends even if they seem like they don't care at all,

curiousity will most likley get the best of them and it will be the one tool they can keep tabs on you for whatever stupid reason they have for doing so.

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california15

Don't get down on yourself. We're all here for you. No matter what name.

 

Keep posting. I'm sorry you learned a tough lesson the hard way, But chin up and keep on.

 

Don't be embarrassed; you posted from the heart. Don't apologize for what you think and how you feel about it.

 

Forget about potatoe.

 

Go out and get yourself some damn good french fries. :laugh:

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Quest4_TheLost
Don't get down on yourself. We're all here for you. No matter what name.

 

Keep posting. I'm sorry you learned a tough lesson the hard way, But chin up and keep on.

 

Don't be embarrassed; you posted from the heart. Don't apologize for what you think and how you feel about it.

 

Forget about potatoe.

 

Go out and get yourself some damn good french fries. :laugh:

 

 

Thanx california.. I really appriciate hearing that.. The more I have thought about things I am kind of creeped out by this. Potatoe wants nothing to do with our "spud" but yet is reading about me .. That truly seems pathetic to me. I didn't put alot of thought into this in the beginning because I thought to myself I am sure potatoe has a life of its own and I am not an important thing on its list.. Now I am just kind of creeped out by its motives. Now calling me saying it wants to see our child. When it hasn't been around for along time now. All I want is this person out of our lives.

 

I hope that lalalandman is wrong.. If this person seriously looks through LS to see if I am posting under diffrent names or what then the only thought comes to my mind is "psycho".. Its easy to search a members posts when knowing their name. But actually going through posts to try to find me?

Besides that, this person has no clue I know what they're up to.

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Ok if this is real, "potatoe" is going to work out instantly this post is about them! It couldn't be anymore obvious!

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Ok if this is real, "potatoe" is going to work out instantly this post is about them! It couldn't be anymore obvious!

I doubt they're reading all the posts on the forum and are probably just running a search. I don't think the thread title is obvious enough to deserve clicking by "Potatoe"

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Quest I feel like I need to reply to this. I too used this site as a place to cope/heal and I found out recently my ex AND her friends had been reading all my posts (I made a mistake using an old alias she knew. Why she googled my alias 7 weeks after our breakup, I will never know). Anyway, I was initially a bit embrassed about the fallout but you know, these things happen. If you are here a long time, then there is only so much venting and receiving advice that you can do/receive before taking the next step.

 

I've noticed some posters are just posting more or less the same stuff, day in and day out for weeks, even months. At some stage they will need to take the next step. Maybe it's time for you to take the next step? I'm not saying leave the site completely, but maybe come on here once every 3-4 days..My point is if you have been venting and receiving advice for "a long time" how much more time do you need before taking the next step in your healing process?

Edited by Mack05
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Quest4_TheLost
Quest I feel like I need to reply to this. I too used this site as a place to cope/heal and I found out recently my ex AND her friends had been reading all my posts (I made a mistake using an old alias she knew. Why she googled my alias 7 weeks after our breakup, I will never know). Anyway, I was initially a bit embrassed about the fallout but you know, these things happen. If you are here a long time, then there is only so much venting and receiving advice that you can do/receive before taking the next step.

 

I've noticed some posters are just posting more or less the same stuff, day in and day out for weeks, even months. At some stage they will need to take the next step. Maybe it's time for you to take the next step? I'm not saying leave the site completely, but maybe come on here once every 3-4 days..My point is if you have been venting and receiving advice for "a long time" how much more time do you need before taking the next step in your healing process?

 

 

Thanx for the reply Mack.. I have been on this site for 2 years now.

I don't post here about my problems with him often anymore. The last time I pasted was almost 2 weeks ago. Its never about the same thing either its been 7 months now I have done alot of healing over that time and rarley seek advice mostly use it to vent. Mostly I read alot of other peoples stories and give advice to them. I assume he has read all of it.

 

 

I have takin many steps for myself to move on and we are doing fine with out this person in our lives. I just feel very violated as if someone I can't stand stole my diary. 7 months ago I probably would have looked at this is a sign that maybe he cared, now I truly just feel a bit creeped out that he is even bothering.. Potatoe needs to get a life! I will probably remain here under my old nick ONLY to post advice and use this one to rant..

 

I would appriciate though if the people who think this is a joke not to post under my thread, this isn't a joke this is my life and if you had actually been here long enough you would realize I am not the only person this has happend to. I have even witnessed fights where the partner has come on and started posting under their threads about them.. Its a nasty thing but this happens alot more often then people would think..

 

As I said before don't show the person your with where you like to post they will always have a way to keep tabs on you!

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sorry to say, but isn't this just adding more fuel to the fire? sounds like you're trying to draw attention to it. maybe you weren't intending to, but with a post as open and clear as this...you may have just done that.

 

me...i figure who cares who reads. i already know my ex stalks me, and many other exes of mine. it's pretty easy to find someone named "flitzanu" on the internet and track my life.

 

but me, i choose to be that way. obviously if you've typed it here, you've wanted to say it. never feel guilty about speaking your mind.

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Quest4_TheLost

I am trying to draw attention to myself by asking advice?? Yea I would have to disagree with you. If I wanted to draw attention to myself I would just continue posting under my old nick and screw with his head.

 

If you really beleive he is going to go through everyones posts and read them just to see if I am posting anything else then yes I would classify that as psycho..

 

I was just upset and looking for support. I highly doubt my title is drawing attention.. If I was drawing attention I would have just said EX IS SPYING ON ME!! I don't use my nick name everywhere, I go I always change them.

I like my private life to be just that "private". I do my best to keep it that way.

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Quest4_TheLost

Also why is it evryone seems to be trying to make me feel bad for needing advice on this subject.. I am not an attention seeker I don't post a million things here on the same subject.. When I am feeling down or upset I am just like anyone else who looks for support.. You can try to flip it anyway you want and say I am being totally obvious. YET you people don't have any idea if I am even male or female.. Yet, you think this person is going to know its me? lol I wonder how many people out there are going through this same situation 7 months split and has a child.. I guess I am the only one?

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I am trying to draw attention to myself by asking advice?? Yea I would have to disagree with you. If I wanted to draw attention to myself I would just continue posting under my old nick and screw with his head.

 

If you really beleive he is going to go through everyones posts and read them just to see if I am posting anything else then yes I would classify that as psycho..

 

I was just upset and looking for support. I highly doubt my title is drawing attention.. If I was drawing attention I would have just said EX IS SPYING ON ME!! I don't use my nick name everywhere, I go I always change them.

I like my private life to be just that "private". I do my best to keep it that way.

 

 

i'm sorry, you're right. i didn't answer your question. why would he do this? because you pointed it out to him that you post here. that means he can easily track what you say and when you say it. simple really.

 

another question for you is, why do you care?

 

and a followup iteration of your "events" of my own is, i just recently was pointed to a worst tattoo/failblog post of a picture of me, submitted under my ex gf's name. 2 weeks ago. she dumped me august 2010. why would she go through the trouble to follow my fb, take my pic, and submit to a site i'd never bother looking at?

 

yeah. girls and boys both do really weird things.

 

and again, you don't agree that you've drawn attention to yourself and you just wanted advice...but seriously, he knows you post, and what sections i'm sure, and it isn't like there are 10k posts a day. it wouldn't be hard at all to skim through new daily posts, and you described the situation in detail that you showed him, etc, so it just sounds like if he has any deduction skills that it would be easy for him to figure out the "mystery". that's all i'm saying.

 

not saying YOU want attention, but you've obviously, or, accidentally left a great trail of crumbs to follow and figure it out.

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Quest4_TheLost
i'm sorry, you're right. i didn't answer your question. why would he do this? because you pointed it out to him that you post here. that means he can easily track what you say and when you say it. simple really.

 

another question for you is, why do you care?

 

and a followup iteration of your "events" of my own is, i just recently was pointed to a worst tattoo/failblog post of a picture of me, submitted under my ex gf's name. 2 weeks ago. she dumped me august 2010. why would she go through the trouble to follow my fb, take my pic, and submit to a site i'd never bother looking at?

 

yeah. girls and boys both do really weird things.

 

and again, you don't agree that you've drawn attention to yourself and you just wanted advice...but seriously, he knows you post, and what sections i'm sure, and it isn't like there are 10k posts a day. it wouldn't be hard at all to skim through new daily posts, and you described the situation in detail that you showed him, etc, so it just sounds like if he has any deduction skills that it would be easy for him to figure out the "mystery". that's all i'm saying.

 

not saying YOU want attention, but you've obviously, or, accidentally left a great trail of crumbs to follow and figure it out.

 

Why I care mostly is because I just feel angry.. I can imagine this person telling their friends.. I am just embarrassed about my feelings that I obviously didn't want this person to know being exposed.

 

 

No I actually don't usually post under this part of the forum anymore. Wow I'm sorry but your ex seriously has issues. I can understand maybe for the first few months after a break up maybe tracking you. But NOW?

There are some seriously messed up people out there lol.. You know what though they have read my deepest thoughts and feelings its all spilt milk now.. So guess what if this person happens to run across this post I just want to say your pathetic and need a life and I want you completley OUT of mine got it? I don't know what your hang up is and I don't care. They have definetly crossed the line with me. Besides all the other bs I have put up with from them.

 

Thats pretty much it I guess. A lesson learned. Thanx to the people who have given their support and advice I appriciate it. All this is pretty fresh since I just found out. But its true what california15 said, I shouldn't feel bad for saying how I feel or apologize for it.. ;)

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Why I care mostly is because I just feel angry.. I can imagine this person telling their friends.. I am just embarrassed about my feelings that I obviously didn't want this person to know being exposed.

 

 

No I actually don't usually post under this part of the forum anymore. Wow I'm sorry but your ex seriously has issues. I can understand maybe for the first few months after a break up maybe tracking you. But NOW?

There are some seriously messed up people out there lol.. You know what though they have read my deepest thoughts and feelings its all spilt milk now.. So guess what if this person happens to run across this post I just want to say your pathetic and need a life and I want you completley OUT of mine got it? I don't know what your hang up is and I don't care. They have definetly crossed the line with me. Besides all the other bs I have put up with from them.

 

Thats pretty much it I guess. A lesson learned. Thanx to the people who have given their support and advice I appriciate it. All this is pretty fresh since I just found out. But its true what california15 said, I shouldn't feel bad for saying how I feel or apologize for it.. ;)

 

you should never feel embarassed or sorry for your feelings. never. those are yours to own, and just as valid in this world as anyone else's. i do understand why you may feel dumb, but i think you mean "weak" because he knows your secrets.

 

the exes that like using our personal secrets against us, or that have issues with what we post...have bigger issues of their own.

 

and again, i wasn't meaning to 'call you out' on this, it's just i'm very familiar with accidentally drawing attention to things i've said, and i don't believe you meant to. :)

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