opslimit Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Here is my story. I am 22 years old and i just graduated from college, but still living in the college city till i leave for the air force to start flight school in July. I have never had a relationship in college, and me and my GF just broke it off last week. When i first met this girl it was quite weird, i had been invited over to my good friends apartment and i didnt even want to go, but i did anyways. Well i met his roommate and i met his roommates ex girlfriend which they separated over a year and half ago for by some reason was still seeing him as a Friends with benefits i can only assume now, as when i was there she ran into his room and then i left before they came out (assume they were doing the deed). So i didnt think anything of it and had a good time and went home, it was a small party i would say. So the next night i go to the bars with a diffrent set of friends, and i once agian see the roommate and his FWB/ex at the bar aswell. Well i went up to her and started talking to her since you know i had just met her the night before and it wasnt like i had been really lucky in the past. Im not ugly in any way, just get nervous alot i guess. So everyone proceedes to get drunk and then we make it back to the roommate/my friends apt because my buddies had known the girl aswell from the past. Well before i know it i hear a bunch of yelling and the ex/fwb girl comes running out crying saying hes hit her and what not (she is very dramatic). Well we proceed to leave the apt and he stays. We go back to the bar and i start hittin it off with this girl in the car, i mean makin out and everything which is questionable by her i realize now because hell, i had just met her. Before i know it we have left the bar and we make it back to my apt and have sex. I didnt think anything of it with the ex bf of hers because all she would say is she is done with him and shes been wanting to find someone else for awhile now. So we keep talking over the next couple days and we meet up agian and have sex. Well then she tells me she wants to be in a relationship and that im everything she has been looking for. I was caught way off guard but what the hell its not like i have ever really experienced a true relationship, so i agree. Before i know it we are FB offical and having sex constantly. We do everything together, movies,dinners, walks, working out and then i realize that the ex bf keeps texting her and calling her trying to get her back. I tell her that since we have been in a relationship for over a month at that point that i will not stand for answering calls at 2am and him being called just a "friend" she tells me that i have nothing to worry about and he is finished. Well we have another month of me questioning this dude and her, but she tells me im being insecure and he is nothing. The dude sends me a message and says that she is out of his life and to take care of her, i dont respond but am suspicous. Another month goes by, and she starts questioning our future and how we are going to work out when i leave soon and she still has 2 years of school left. I tell her that im only going to a city 3 hours away and i will do everything i can to make it work (deep down i knew this was a major issue, but i was so happy to be with her) well then we go to the bar one night and im pretty stressed about leaving and what not and she gets completley drunk and tells me outside the bar that we are, not compatiable, not in love (even though we said it everytime after sex, and that she has goals) i told her that i respect that but its just so out of the blue and that i have done nothing wrong to start this. I accept her drunken statement of breaking up, outside a bar, and walk home destroyed. She texts me the next day and says she was completley drunk and remembers nothing (a lie perhaps, i realize now?) and Iinform her. She says it was the alcohol talking and that she wants to fix everything. I dont talk to her for a day and being very distraught and confused believe she is really done with me, delete her from FB/end relationship. We argue for the next day and she says if we get back together she wants to be able to see her ex (from the first night i met her) at lunch. I tell her that she has betrayed me and had never fully stopped talking to him and now within 24 hours of a conflict she has already contacted him and made plans for lunch when he returns for summer school. So are relationship was terminated after 3 months. I just dont know how to accept all this, i did everything i could for her, always took the brute of her anger and listend and apolgized for everything, i bought her tons of dinners and took her to events and in the end she runs back to an ex bf that is 3 years older than me in school for 5 years with no degree and thinks he is the answer to her problems? i have a career lined up i know were im going in life and now all i can think about is just getting the hell out of here. and it kills me to think that i was so dumb not to see this comming and should of never gotten in a relationship in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
sinnister Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Look it up..will explain everything. BPD's screw very early..fall in love quickly and break up just as...and even as they lie and say they hate the ex...they never do..it's just an act until your "idealization stage" ends. She'll use both of u until she finds another. She probably has some confidence issues and the ex was always safe/good to her..but she creates drama when her sex hormones b/c active. Sex is a weapon to these bozos. Link to post Share on other sites
bigmomma1974 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 your not dumb by any means. feeling betrayed is a normal feeling. All you can do now is learn from this and move on. you seem to have a good head on your shoulder and have goals you intend to keep. Go on with what you have planned and make a life for yourself, The right person will come along and until then have fun,enjoy your life and chaulk this up as a lessoned learn. Best of luck to you/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author opslimit Posted May 30, 2011 Author Share Posted May 30, 2011 wow i just looked it up, it makes so much sense now. She had thyroid disease and was belemic and on alot of medication, i was very supportive of trying to help her once i learned of these problems, all i can say is. it makes sense now. Link to post Share on other sites
sinnister Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) wow i just looked it up, it makes so much sense now. She had thyroid disease and was belemic and on alot of medication, i was very supportive of trying to help her once i learned of these problems, all i can say is. it makes sense now. There's a slight diff btw GIGS and BPD..if any. They should just rename BPD Perpetual Insecurity Disorder. She probably lied about bf hitting her, as they'll say any/everything to get what they want once triggered(scary thing-they can actually trick themselves to believe it). She'll try to keep you in her life if you just disappear now...you got a lifetime F-buddy if you want. You weren't stupid, it's just people r so scared to put labels on weak women, they never get the help they need. It's sad, cause her life could be so enriched..but she will be constantly distracted with s--t she doesn't need...but be able to take care of business, for the most part. Imagine what she could really do with her goals with 100% focus. Her life will simply be about demonizing and being rescued. Be glad ur out. And best of luck in Air Force school. Edited May 30, 2011 by sinnister Link to post Share on other sites
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